Your Daily Fiber - Blog

Man, is this a small town.  I thought it had grown into a medium sized city, but in a lot of ways it is still a small town.

When I was a kid, we had a “party” telephone line in Fort Collins .  I’ll bet some of you don’t even know what that is.  When I was really young, if my parents needed to make a call, they picked up the phone and listened to make sure none of the neighbors were using the neighborhood phone line.  As I got a little older, the “party” lines changed.  You didn’t need to listen for another conversation on the line; you just got a busy signal when someone was using the line.  It was a big deal when my folks paid extra to the phone company to get our own private line.

Holy cow, I’ve lived here a long time.  Did I ever tell you my great-grandfather has a street named after him in Fort Collins ?  Sorry, I don’t know why I brought that up!

Do you guys remember when there were two yarn stores on Linden before the Old Town Square?  Another store was in the Opera Galleria block. That was before downtown was called Old Town .  Heck in those days is was Only Town.  And then they opened another store on Lemay and Drake, over by Toddy’s.  Oh yeah, Toddy’s is gone too.

Elaine loved that store.  That store and its owners will always hold a warm place in Elaine’s heart.  When the store closed, Elaine and I had a conversation about acquiring the store.  It was a five minute conversation, but it was a conversation.   Gosh, we were just kids.

 Now here we are on College Ave.  It’s a pretty good spot for us.  I wish our backroom storage was bigger.  I wonder if we should occupy more space in the basement of this building.  That would certainly give us more storage.

I talked to a realtor about finding a place with more storage and possibly an apartment someone could stay in after evening classes instead of driving to the ranch.

I forgot Fort Collins is still quite small in some ways.  Word got out.  Customers are worried.  The other stores are talking.  People are coming from other stores to ask us when we are closing.  I didn’t know this but I guess we lost our lease.  I think our landlords in California mentioned it to everybody but us at Your Daily Fiber.  The landlords have asked us to extend the lease. oh decisions! 

Some of you know Elaine spends every evening watching House Hunters International looking for beach property in Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and Panama .  The problem is we are way too young to retire and the twins are still in school.  (The Twins graduate from high school in 2021.  That equates to more than 3000 more episodes of beach property planning.)

Things are going pretty well at Your Daily Fiber.  Ivy and Elaine are having a blast in the store.  The Twins can spin, knit and crochet.  We plan on being here for at least two more generations.  We are committed to Fort Collins .  Like my great-grandfather, this is our town.  I hope the city will name a round-a-bout after me. And don’t forget, I need a reason to keep writing this crap!

Our crazy lives!

Monner

When the phone rings before 7:00 A.M. at our house on a weekday, it can only mean one thing.  Ok, two things.  The school calls on snow days to inform the kids school has been cancelled.  If the weather is good and we get an early morning phone call, the llamas and/or yaks are out.

Yesterday, we received one of those phone calls.  Of course, we couldn’t answer it.  We have three cordless phones.  Two of which usually have dead batteries and one is hiding in the couch cushions.  Caller ID on the base unit alerted us a neighbor was calling.

Elaine went to the window.  All the llamas were out of their pasture, feeding at the haystack.  At least they stayed near home.

Yaks will push on a gate or fence until they have pushed it down.  That’s how they get out.  Llamas aren’t that ambitious.  When the llamas get out it means someone didn’t latch the gate.  Ivy will gladly tell you, that someone is usually me.  Ivy keeps track of how many times our family members have let the llamas out.  I am the big winner in this contest.  Me,17 open gates; Elaine, 5; Ivy, 2.  The twins are not very good at this game.  They have not left a gate open, YET.

I knew the shower had to wait.  It was 23 degrees outside.  That meant Elaine and Ivy would need to get coats, boots, gloves and hats.  I was already dressed, gym shorts and T-shirt.  I did need to put on a coat and shoes.  I headed outside to start the roundup.

I don’t think the neighbors saw me.  It wouldn’t really matter.  Some of them have been scratching their heads since the moment they met me.  The day I met one of my neighbors eight years ago, he told me, “Hey, you have short pants; you can’t wear short pants up here.”  There are times I should have listened to him, but that would mean I would need to replace my wardrobe.  I just can’t see myself doing that.

In my construction life, some thirty plus years ago, I was working as a carpenter building houses for a local developer.  I was in charge of a crew of 4-6 carpenters.  (I mention that because I have not kicked my ego problem.)  One of the carpenters on the crew was ten years older than me.  He was one of the most unique men I have met in my life.  Whenever our work involved lifting something heavy or needed to be done with a sense of urgency, “Al” would head off to use the restroom.

Over the years I have shared “Al” stories with my family.  I always thought the family was bored with the stories.  Seems they were listening.

As I headed outside with gym shorts, coat and shoes, one of my family members announced they were going to the restroom.

The llamas allowed me to be the Pied Piper of llamas and they all followed me into their pen.  With the llamas’ safe in their pen, I headed into the house and passed the new “Al” as they were coming out to help.

I always thought I bored my family with “Al” stories.  Seems they were listening and learning. And I thought they never listened to me! 

Our crazy lives!

Monner

Happy Valentines Day.

I hope you are getting to spend time with your special person.  I am home with the twins.

Elaine is at the store tonight.  It is business as usual for the store’s Tuesday night knit-in. I am home with the twins.  Even on Valentines Day, we have homework.  The nice thing is it is simple multiplication.  I can do that.  Heck, I’m even kind of good at it.

At least for this Valentines Day, the twins are my date.  Maybe Elaine and I will go out together later in the week.  But for tonight, it will be homework, followed by a late dinner when Elaine gets home.

You really don’t need a special day to spend time with that special person.  Hug them everyday.  Tell them you love them everyday.  Buy them yarn everyday.  (I just through that in, Elaine and I own a yarn store.)   Ok, I can’t really expect you to do that, but you can do something nice everyday.

Happy Valentines Day from The Sipes family and Your Daily Fiber.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time in the store lately.  For the most part I enjoy my time in the store.  There is however, a couple times each day that I am extremely uncomfortable. That happens when someone, usually a woman, asks me a technical question. 

Every once in a while someone will come in the store and they are more uncomfortable than I am. Friday was one of those times.  A young lady came in the store announcing she had crocheted before, but had always bought yarn from one of the mega grocery stores.  She mentioned there were a lot of wonderful things in the store, but was not familiar with what she was looking at.  She obviously didn’t want any help and didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to help her, anyway.

She was carrying a recyclable shopping bag with the Chicago Cubs logo on it.  I asked if she was from Chicago .

Customer:  I’m from the north side.

Me:  And you’re a Cubs fan?

If you are from the north side of Chicago , you are required to root for the White Sox.  If you live on the south side you are a Cubs fan.  I’m not sure that is actually a law.  I think if you don’t want to follow those rules, the Chicagoans make you move to St. Louis.

Customer:  I just have this bag; I actually follow the White Sox. My husband is from St. Louis and is there now living with his parents.

Me:  Oh?

Customer:  I am a grad student and he has not been able to find a job here.

Me:  I wish him luck! 

I noticed something else about this young lady.  She had a pretty good sized diamond ring.  Ah, young love!  Isn’t it great!

It made me think.  I bought Elaine a diamond, once.  It was in her engagement ring.  I was proud of that ring and I think she was also.  When she became pregnant with our first child her hands started to swell.  She took off the ring and put it in a coat pocket.

That was the last time she wore a diamond.  Actually, we forgot where the ring was and didn’t find it for years.  I think the ring is in a jewelry box, but I can’t swear to that.

I have had plenty of opportunities with birthdays, Christmases, and Valentines Days to have replaced the diamond.  Elaine has always asked me not to buy another diamond.

When they had the “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” class, Elaine must have stayed home that day.  She was in class for “I like Turquoise”.  Elaine once advised our daughter, "Don't get a ring from the guy, get water rights!"

Here comes another Valentines Day.  It would be really easy to go out and get another diamond.  She just wouldn't want it.  Flowers, they just dry up.  Chocolates, not a favorite either. 

Tomorrow I will go to farm supply store for some romantic shopping.  For Elaine, nothing says love like insulated coveralls and heated livestock waterers.

Happy Valentines Day 

Our crazy lives!

Monner

I have three email addresses.  One I use in my construction life.  One I share with Elaine and Ivy for store related stuff.  The other, I use to receive all the humorous stuff people like to send me.  I don’t check the last one very often.

This has nothing to do with what I am writing about, but I like to write about myself. 

Last night, Ivy, the twins and I arrived home just as the sun was going down.  Ivy and I prepared to feed the yaks and llamas.  You know, we put on our insulated coveralls, gloves and snow boots.  The same stuff when you guys wear to go outside to feed your animals in sub-freezing, snowy weather.  Oh, you don’t need to feed yaks and llamas.  Well, it is like dressing for skiing, if you didn’t have ski clothes.

I was “geared-up” and headed outside.  I made the mistake of thinking Ivy was right behind me.  I didn’t latch the door behind me.  Of course, Lizzie and Maggie (Our no longer are they puppies, puppies) were right behind me.

Lizzie and Maggie were headed west and they were serious about getting there.  Ivy jumped in the truck and tried to chase them down.  These puppies were determined to get west.  I let Walter (Great Dane mix) out of the house and told him to go get the puppies.  I don’t know if he understood me, but he seemed to know where they were going and he knew how to get there.  Walter headed west.  Emma (the oldest member of Team Pyrenees) stayed home tied to a fence post.

Ivy chased the puppies about 1/2-3/4 mile into a neighbors pasture.  I followed everyone with an ATV.  Walter somehow convinced the puppies they had run far enough and it was time to get a truck ride home.  Ivy coaxed Maggie into the truck and went for Lizzie.  Ivy opened the truck door to let Lizzie in and Maggie jumped out.  It would have been fun to watch but it was too darn cold.  We chased the puppies another 20 minutes before they had enough of their adventure. 

With everyone back home, Ivy and I fed the llamas and yaks.  Elaine wasn’t home from the store.  She was teaching a weaving class and wouldn’t be home for another hour.  I took some time to check my emails (OK, this story does have an email part to it) 

While Ivy, the twins and I were playing “Let’s chase the puppies”, our neighbor who lives about 1/2 mile west of us, sent an email, informing the neighborhood they had just seen two mountain lions on their property.  That was an email you don’t see everyday. 

Another neighbor replied to the email informing the neighborhood that it is lion mating season.  He said it is very possible we would hear them.  Our dogs have been very vocal at night for the last week, or so. Yes, if you are following the story, the lions were spotted pretty darn close to where the puppies decided they were too tired to run any farther. 

I don’t know if the puppies were aware the mountain lions were close by, but I am sure the mountain lions knew we were there.

I'm starting to understand why it is difficult for us to find house sitters.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

Regrettably, I have reached a milestone in my life.  I am to the point where I might need to turn in my man card. 

I have mentioned before, I have four brothers, two older and two younger.  Every one of my brother’s is/was involved in the concrete business.  They build sidewalks, building foundations, roads and things like that.  They followed in the footsteps of my father, who also was in the concrete business.  You might say that concrete has been very good for my family.  At least, financially.

It hasn’t been all that great, as far as their bodies are concerned.  One of my younger brothers has had three hip replacements (one hip replaced twice).  My older brothers are waiting for shoulder and knee replacements.  All those years of working in the concrete business has taken its toll.  It was however, manly!  (OK, sometimes I feel my advanced age)

I worked one summer in the concrete business.  Working FOR an older brother as a teenager was enough to send me in another direction.  I didn’t realize at the time that my chosen path would eventually lead to working for my wife (and daughter) in a yarn store. 

My brothers couldn’t tell alpaca yarn from sheep yarn.  They are men.  Me, I know a lot about yarn.  They watched the Super Bowl.  I went to the store where I sat with 10(+) women avoiding the Super Bowl.  My brothers lift heavy things.  I package wine glasses.  Ok, my oldest brother is retired from the concrete business.  He bought a delivery route and delivers his goods to regional grocery stores.  His goods?  Yep, he delivers cookies.  When I give up my man card I will ask for his! 

The weird thing about me working for the women, I am having a blast!

Our crazy lives!

Monner

I like to think I am fond of animals.  I am actually pretty tolerant of all animals.  I can co-exist with rattlesnake, providing they don’t want to live on our property.  Until rattlesnakes want to start making the mortgage payments they need to find another place to live.

Working outside of Tucson , I encountered a Gila monster living on my construction site.  We got along just fine.

I’m finding myself starting to dislike an animal.  I think I have developed a problem with a groundhog.  Not all groundhogs, just the one from Pennsylvania .  The one that controls winter.

I’m not sure it is the groundhogs fault.  Who put the darn thing in charge of winter, anyway.  Hell, given the choice between getting up and looking for food or taking another nap, I might choose the nap myself.

I don’t understand why someone would put a groundhog in charge of winter.  I would have put a deer in charge.  I know that deer are sick of looking for food, eating dried grass and whatever they can find.

Believe me, deer want springtime today.

Winter came early this year.  We had significant snow in October. We had snow on the ground until almost Christmas.  We have had strong winds since early December.  The winds melt the snow.  Snow that is not melted is blown somewhere east of here.  I think it is blown to Nebraska .  I don’t understand why the Nebraskans never thank me for it.

Wintertime in northern Colorado means wind. Thirty to forty mph winds every day, with gusts to sixty mph.  Throw in some 70 mph windy days with gusts to 90+ mph, with a couple of snowstorms you have a northern Colorado winter.  Yes, we have hurricane force winds several times each winter.

When a lazy, fat Pennsylvanian groundhog decides we need more winter, it makes me angry.  Don’t tell me the groundhog is a myth.  January 31^st we had wind. February 1^st was a nice day.  February 2^nd the groundhog decides to go back to bed, February 3^rd is the beginning of what the weatherman is calling a hundred year storm.

Turns out, the snowstorm is not as bad as predicted.  However, it proves winter is still here.  Even the deer are angry.

I believe if the election were held today, that groundhog would not be in charge of winter.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

PS  It was snowing quite hard today.  One of our customers suggested to Ivy we close the store and go home early.

Ivy:  It won't be bad.  I'm riding home with my dad.  I knit while he drives.

Customer:  Oh good, you can knit while he tries to get out of a ditch!

Ivy:  I see you have ridden with him before! 

When the school called inviting our family to an awards ceremony Thursday night to honor one of the twins for their artwork, it wasn’t much of a surprise.  The school district picks one piece of art from each school in the district to hang for one year in the school board chambers. 

As I have mentioned before, Girl twin is very artistic.  Elaine and Ivy can draw, so I assume the talent came from them. Given the opportunity, she will bring out a pencil or crayon to sketch a drawing of the animal du jour.  Birthday and Christmas gifts always include something to draw with.

Boy Twin doesn’t enjoy art as much as Girl Twin.  He’s more of an adventurer/engineer.  He’s more likely to take something apart and reassemble it than try to draw it.  Maybe it is a boy thing.

So, all things considered, imagine our surprise when the school told us the award was won by, yep, Boy Twin.  Who would have figured that?  He painted a polar bear walking on the horizon, using oil paints.  We are pretty proud.  He wasn’t crazy about going up on stage to receive his award and shake hands with the superintendent of schools.  His school principal had to talk him into it.  Who knows, maybe this will inspire him.

It was a big week for Ivy, also.  Ivy spent the week shipping out her wine glasses.  The spot in Knitscene really boosted sales.  Ivy has been promoted to operation manager and head shipper.  Much to her dismay the promotion does not come with a raise but she gets to work an extra hour each day.  I might need to get her a “Boss” mug!

Our crazy lives!

Monner

Elaine and I had fun at the National Western Stock Show and rodeo last Saturday.  We had a good time with friends.  The rodeo was fun and Elaine got to go out to eat twice.  (I ate out twice, also.  I had to, I was with her.)  We went back to the NWSS with the rest of the family Wednesday.

We didn’t go to the rodeo Wednesday.  We walked through the trade show and planned on walking through the livestock exhibits.  The trade show is amazing.  They have blenders that will make ice cream and hot soup in the same blender. (Not at the same time)  I’m not sure they have ever sold one, but if you love ice cream and soup, go to the stock show.  They have your machine.

We looked at tractors.  Some of them cost a few thousand dollars. Some of them will cost more than a half a million dollars.  With tractors costing a half a million and diesel fuel costing more than $3.00, it is no wonder a can of corn cost so darn much.

Elaine was really interested in the jewelry booths.  (No small wonder!)  The stock features some beautiful western/Native American jewelry.  Elaine also likes looking at the leather booths.  (Again, no small wonder,) This is the kind of shopping Elaine really likes.  She likes buying more than shopping, but for some reason she wasn’t a buyer this time.

We did buy something at the stock show.  It was me.  I didn’t plan on being a buyer.  I’m not into leather purses, blenders or jewelry.  But the bargain was there and I grabbed it.  I went to the NWSS and bought a ………..new cell phone.

Our cellular carrier had a booth at the stock show.  It didn’t have any customers, when I went by.  I had a couple questions about my phone.  The guy working in the booth said let me take a look.

Me:  I don’t think this phone works right

Salesmen:  Do you know your account password?

Me:  It’s my wife’s SS#.

Salesman:  Do you know it?

Me:  No, but I know that it is her SS# and you are most likely looking at it on your computer screen right now.

Salesman:  You need to be able to tell me the number.

We are off to a good start.  Elaine took a break from jewelry shopping and solved the password situation.

While waiting for the password to be resolved I overheard the salesman tell his buddy he “wore jeans today, that was why he looked like a cowboy.”  Huh?  I thought cowboys knew something about cows and horses.  I guess to be a cowboy you just need to wear jeans.

It was determined my phone had a connectivity issue.  It could be fixed by getting a new phone.  Phones were being offered as the NWSS special price of $49.99 with a $50.00 rebate to the purchaser.  Well, who wouldn’t get a new phone?

The salesman was more than happy to help me take my old phone off line and hook up the new phone.

Salesman:  Monner, you don’t have any contacts or info saved in your old phone.

Me:  Yeah, I know

Salesman:  This new phone, as well as your old phone will save phone numbers for you

Me:  I save them in my head.

Salesman:  I have sold phones for years; I have never seen this before.

Me:  I will dial the phone myself; please make sure I can read weather alerts.

Elaine didn’t buy anything.  Girl Twin picked up a toy stuffed horse.  Boy Twin decided to save his money in hopes of getting a new game for his hand-held game system.  Ivy left with regrets for not buying a t-shirt with “I’m your Huckleberry” on the front.  I drove over 100 miles to an agricultural trade show to get a new cell phone.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

I’m going to a rodeo today.  I’m really looking forward to it.  However, it seems really funny to actually look forward to it

When I was a kid, my parents took us to rodeos.  I was really into them when I was really young.  I think I was influenced by watching The Rifleman on television.  Living a cowboy life looked really great.  Cowboys on television were always beating the bad guys.  I’m going to be a cowboy!

While I was in the third grade, a new kid moved to town.  His dad was a veterinarian.  He knew quite a bit about horses and cows.  But, he didn’t like ‘em.  What?  He liked football!

Brad introduced me to the Green Bay Packers.  The Packers were a bunch of good guys that always beat the bad guys.  (Actually, the Packers were a bunch of hard drinking, womanizing, and gamblers.  We didn’t know it at the time, and it wouldn’t have mattered to us; we were kids.)

Brad and I were going to be Green Bay Packers.  We knew the name of every player on the team.  It was only waiting until we grew up and we would be on the Packers!  I traded my cowboy boots for a pair of Adidias.  Cost me $12.95 of my hard earned paper route money.  (Sorry, I have a thing for remembering numbers)

We got to high school and Brad moved to Texas , where he starred in football.  He found that he enjoyed girls and booze, (just like the real Packers).and he was really good at them. 

My junior year, our high school team played a team from Colorado Springs with a REAL football player.  During that game it became glaring obvious the Packers weren’t looking for anyone from our team.  This kid ran over us, we couldn’t get out of his way.  I remember thinking, oh no, here he comes again.

(This kid from Colorado Springs went on to play for Oklahoma State and then the Buffalo Bills.  Yes, I was run over by a future professional player)

As time went on, I became less interested in football.  The more felony convictions and tattoos the players get, the less I liked football.

I few years back, I found myself in Cancun .  I bought myself a pair of cowboy boots. I have the boots, I still like to watch The Rifleman.  Can you see why I am excited about going to the rodeo?

Elaine insists that I tell you that I was wearing shorts when I bought the boots in Cancun .  Returning to your cowboys roots can take time.  Now I have several pairs of boots.  OK, more than several, but some numbers are best forgotten.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

PS  Oh yeah, I was wondering.  Am I supposed to insert recipes in these stories?

Go Tebow!

I received a coffee mug for Christmas.  It is a pottery mug with the word “BOSS” stamped on the side.  I took the mug to mean that Ivy finally realizes that I am the boss of the store. 

I have had a hard time convincing Ivy, I am the “boss” at the yarn store.  Obviously, she has come to the understanding I am the “boss”, because now I have the mug.

I have always made the high level decisions at the store.  I don’t decide what we sell, or even where we place it in the store.  That’s what Elaine and Ivy do.  I don’t pick yarn colors.  Again, Elaine and Ivy.

I make the really important decisions, like what kind of flavored coffee to buy.  We have one of those single serving coffee makers in the store.  If you get the wrong flavored coffee, people really complain.

Ivy was at the supermarket and picked up something called Chai Latte.  You should have heard me complain.  It is no small wonder; she does not have a “boss” mug.

 Adding to the stress of picking flavored coffee, do you realize they make flavored creamers?  You can have a cup of hazelnut coffee, add peppermint mocha creamer, and ruin the entire cup. Those are the things, yarn store bosses need to know. 

I came up with this great idea, we could charge for coffee.  Hey, those guys that have a coffee shop on every corner and in every supermarket, charging four bucks for coffee are doing great.  I was going to let people order sizes in English and things like that.  It was going to be great.  Elaine and Ivy said no, coffee is free.

I also take checks to the bank.  Most people use credit cards or cash for yarn purchases, but some people still write checks.  We get about three checks a month and I need to take then to the bank.  In the past, I would stick the checks in my pocket and walk the two blocks to the bank.

I am going to start driving to the bank.  I will put my “boss” mug in the cup holder of the truck and drive over.  When I get to the bank, I will put the mug on the dashboard so it can be seen through the windshield.  That way people will know I’m the boss.

The kids received electronics for Christmas.  When they finish their games, I’m going to tell them I want to be the “boss” at home, too.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

I thought I would write a story about hoping everyone had a healthy, prosperous year and that they would have a healthy prosperous new year.  However, last night events prevent that from happening. 

If you have been following these stories for a year you know that our family celebrated a birthday yesterday.  Elaine had ANOTHER birthday.  This is getting kind of old.  Not Elaine, just this birthday thing.  We just had Christmas.  I don’t understand why she can’t wait a couple of months to have a birthday.

Anyway, Elaine asked if we could celebrate her birthday at the local fondue restaurant.  Fondue is really great if you want to throw down a bunch of money to boil your own food.  They give you a bunch of raw veggies, meats and seafood, a pot of boiling liquid and let you cook it yourself.

The restaurant does set some rules.  They tell you if the raw food touches cooked food it will contaminate the food.  Then you need to get a new plate and/or forks, which they will provide for you.  They didn’t say if they would charge for the new plate, and no one at the table needed one.  I was terrified about the contaminated food, so I boiled everything.

Seriously, we had a great time.  We finished the evening kind of early.  When settled in the car for the ride home I mentioned we could be home by 9:15 and in bed by 9:45.  (I am a senior citizen)  Life is good!

While driving home, I might have exceeded the speed limit a little bit.  I know this because Elaine pointed it out for me.  We arrived home at 9:13.

Standing on the front porch of our home, reaching for the doorknob, I watched Walter (Great Dane/Pit Bull) jump up on the inside of the door to greet us.  His left front foot hit the thumb turn on the deadbolt, locking the door.  Yep, he locked the deadbolt we have not used for eight years.  The same deadbolt we do not have a key for.

You might be asking why we have a deadbolt and no key.  I asked myself the same question last night.  It would seem when you have 400 pounds of dogs in the house, using a deadbolt might be a little over kill.  Emma and Maggie are pretty good at keeping even invited guests wondering if they should go inside.  They may not look the part, but Lizzie and Walter would be happy to hold the door open for all that enter.

Just about the time I was starting to panic, Ivy started to take the screen off a window (only to find the window locked), Boy Twin announces, “I can get in!”  He ran off in the dark to the other side of the house, and crawled in his bedroom window.  Ninety seconds later, he appeared at the front door (on the inside) where he was greeted by the rest of the family with hi-fives and hugs. 

I hope 2011 was a good year for you and 2012 is even better.  If you are considering a new pet next year, you might want to consider a yak.  Ours have NEVER locked us out of our own home.  We always assumed man’s best friend would keep out undesirables, but he should have known it was us.  If you need to find me today, I will be at the Orange Depot getting keys. 

Our crazy lives!

Monner

This Christmas stuff is exhausting.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  It is probably good it is only once a year. 

Not only did we have 22 relatives over last night, Elaine and Ivy decided to duplicate the Thanksgiving dinner on Christmas day.  Ivy prepared a detailed list for shopping that involved stopping at two stores.  We checked everything off the list.  Almost everything.

When you live 36 miles to the closest major supermarket, you try not to forget anything.  I wish we would have put pasta on the list.  We needed it for one of the new recipes we were trying for Christmas Eve.

Oh well, we can get one of the brothers to stop at the store and pick some up on the way to the house.

After every relative would have past the last supermarket, we discover we are out of cumin.  Now I know we purchased cumin, as it was marked off on Ivy’s list.  Somewhere between the Wally World parking lot and our driveway the cumin disappeared.  We need to borrow from a neighbor.  (1/2 mile away) 

Christmas morning we get a phone call from the same neighbor.  They need to borrow corn meal.  We have corn meal and she is on her way.

Neighbor:  This corn meal is for my husband.  He is making some bread his mother made every Christmas.  It tastes like crap.  He can’t even get his kids to eat it. 

Me:  Do you want to take your cumin with you?

Why do we do this to ourselves?

An hour later we discover we haven’t any aluminum foil to cover the turkey.

Elaine:  Hey, can we borrow a sheet of aluminum foil.

Neighbor:  Yeah, I’ll trade you for two eggs.

The twins were up at 6:00.  We’ve always had a rule in our house that Christmas cannot start until 7:00 and the coffee is made.

Boy Twin was really in a good mood.

Boy Twin:  Do you remember that Christmas when I was smiling so hard my cheeks covered my eyes?

Me:  No, I don’t remember that, maybe you better ask Grandma.

35 Christmas’ together and I still get a kick throwing her under the bus.

Elaine received a DVD of the complete set of Pride and Prejudice.  She has two complete sets on VCR.  Elaine and Ivy, set out to watch it, AGAIN!

Ivy:  Monner, do you want to do something with Mom and me?

Me:  Like what?

Ivy:  Mom and I think it would be fun to watch Pride and Prejudice.

Me:  Honey, I would rather get my leg amputated than watch that again.

Ok, we all know what Christmas is about.  Share the love.  I hope you got to spend some time with someone you love.  God Bless.  Merry Christmas.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

PS  Somehow Ivy had the foresight to know my brother wasn't bringing shrimp.  She had picked up some shrimp at the supermarket.  I love that kid!    Merry Christmas everyone! 

It might have backfired on me.  Elaine and I decided to host the family Christmas Eve gathering at our house.  My brothers usually get together on Christmas Eve by alternateing locations.  It was our turn to host, plus Elaine wanted to show off the new kitchen.  So, here’s where it gets bad. 

When we plan to have people over, Elaine suggests I build something.  When I here the words “Hey Monner, somebody is coming over”, I know the next thing said is, “don’t you think we should ________ before they get here.”  Yep, I’ve been building shelves.

I start asking my brothers what we are doing for Christmas in October.  I usually get the standard “I don’t know answer.”  We will table the plans, until my niece takes the control of plans.  Thanks Kris, you know no one else will do it if you don’t get it started.

Most years we exchange gifts. Kris assigns each member of the family to get a gift for another member of the family.  The assignments are handed out and now the brothers get interested.  The brothers decide this year we will just have the children (under twenty) exchange gifts.  Kris reassigns the gift exchange.  A family member announces he/she is not coming. Kris will redo the assignments.  Oops, someone can make it after all and they’re bringing another family member.  Poor Kris, she went back to work for new assignments.

Next we decide on a menu.  This year is especially hard.  One of my brother’s divorce was final a few days ago.  For the 27 years, my brother and his wife brought a huge platter of peel and eat shrimp to our family gathering.  They get divorced and you know what he wants to bring?  You guessed it, spinach and artichoke dip!  They are the ones that can’t get along, why do the rest of us need to suffer.

Elaine decides every one should bring their choice of drinks and some type of side dish. Brother #1 walks in and asks, ”You have any beer?”

Me:  Did you bring any?

Brother  #1:  No, can I have one?

Me:  Oh look, spinach-artichoke dip, yumm.

The final count of attendees came to 22.  The ages ranged from 2years to 59 years.  Everyone seemed to have a good time.  The daughter of recently divorced told Ivy the dip was gross.  And, I needed to build the shelves anyway.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

Last August, Elaine and Ivy hosted a magazine photo shoot at our ranch.  Well, the magazine has been released with our barn on the cover. One could really see the old time craftsmanship of the barn, except for they put a very pretty girl wearing some crocheted garment in front of the barn.  Did I mention the barn is a little out of focus?  I guess they did that to bring the model  into focus.  If the barn was in focus, it would look amazing.

There are some great photos inside the magazine as well.  I think my favorite was the one of the models hands in a pair of crocheted mittens holding the handles of my wheelbarrow.  Those mittens really showcase the rubber grips of the wheelbarrow handles.

There is a great photo of our driveway with a lush green pasture background.  They put the model in that photo also, but if you ignore her you can really see the gravel.

The photographer got a little artsy with some of the other photos.  He hung crocheted items from our outdoor clothesline.  The crocheted items completely overshadowed the wooden clothes pin holding the item on the line.  If you look close you can see the clothes pins.  If I remember correctly I bought those clothes pins when our dryer was broken. 

One of the llamas and one alpaca got a close-up photo.  Of course, they stuck the model in with them.  Now that I think about it, that model was in everything.  There is a photo of our livestock trailer, with the model in front.  They even stuck her in the photos of our fence posts. The model's feet are in a photo of a fence rail.  That rail really makes her boots look good.

The model is a beautiful young lady dressed in beautiful crocheted garmets.  She is a little distracting.  I'm sure people will want to see the fence posts. (that I dug with a shovel, myself)  The magazine was in charge of the photo shoot, but I think they could have made the model smaller. 

If you want to see the photos for yourself, get a copy of Interweave Crochet Winter Edition. The photography was amazing.  The garments are beautiful.  Everyone had a great time.  If you need help getting a copy for yourself, get in touch with the store. 

We’re pretty proud of Elaine, Ivy and the Interweave staff.  We are especially proud of our Great Pyrenees, Emma, who took time out of her busy day to pose for the last photo of the day.

Thank you Interweave Press.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

PS  Ivy whined when she read this.  She want's it known she dug a fence post hole.  Ok, it was more than one post hole.