I know my family reads this stuff. I also am quite aware they are here to terrorize me. They bought me a new computer. A very small computer. One with a tiny little case and tiny little screen. They said it was a Father’s Day gift, but I know it was to limit my access to the store computer. The one with full size keys, full size screen and even a full size case.
Family: Happy Father’s Day
Me: Thanks, but it’s not Father’s Day
Family: I know, we decided to get you a new computer of your own for Father’s Day
Me: It’s really small
Family: You will learn to love it.
Learn to love it! As a child playing in my backyard with my older brothers I was told I would learn to love something.
My mother sent my two older brothers and me out to our backyard garden to bring in some fresh vegetables. I mentioned to my brothers that I didn’t want to help pick the green onions. I was turned off by the smell. My brothers told me that onions were really good. I guess I disagreed.
That was about the time one of my brothers sat on my chest and the other brother forced the green onions into my mouth, mud and all. I remember being told “you’re gonna learn to love them”. Surprisingly, I didn’t love the onions or my brothers at that moment.
Some forty-five years later, I have never learned to love onions. I have asked my family not to cook with them. I will not cook with them. “A quarter pounder w/cheese, hold the onions, please!” It’s not really a taste thing, more of a texture thing.
Some people use onion skins to naturally dye yarn. (Did you see how I sneaked yarn into this crap? Remember, this is a yarn blog) No onion skin dyes for me! Sorry, I’m not that “natural”.
I don’t think of it as a phobia. I don’t dream about falling down while running from a sack of onions. I have had dreams about my brothers chasing me while wearing nothing but onion skins. (Ok, I made that up, but it would be terrifying)
I hope to learn to love this computer. I am using it now. I did learn to love my brothers. However, if they try to force feed me; again, I would need to pound them.
Our crazy lives!
PS Elaine proof reads this stuff. NOW she wants to trade computers. Mother’s Day?