Last September when my employer asked me to take some time off, I wasn’t really all that disappointed. It had been a really busy summer at work and I had not accomplished everything at the ranch I had hoped/needed to do. I figured I would use the extended “vacation” to get some things done around the house.
Five weeks into my “vacation” I realized I had not shaved. It didn’t seem necessary or important. I got a little help remembering I had not been shaving.
My loving wife of 34 years looked at me one morning and said, “Are you ever going to shave, you’re starting to look like Santa.” I went to the mirror and looked at myself. I didn’t look anything like Santa! My beard wasn’t snow white. At least 2% of my facial hair is dark Santa is snow white.
Had she said I looked like Kenny Rogers, I might have thought she was on to something. I know she thought if she would compare me to Santa and I would shave. It didn’t work, I kept the facial hair.
I’ve gone past Kenny Rogers, headed towards Leon Russell or ZZ Tops. Elaine stopped talking about it for awhile, hoping if she ignored it, it would go away. Ivy and the twins have decided I need to keep the hair.
Ok, now I’m ready to get to the point.
Last week Elaine and I were feeding the livestock. I carried a bale of hay into the llama/alpaca corral and started splitting the bale to feed the animals individually. Elaine suggested that I leave her to feed the llamas and I start feeding the yaks.
I left her alone in the corral. While tending to the yaks, I thought I heard a human in pain. I yelled, “Elaine, are you OK?” No answer. “Elaine, are you OK?” No answer. I sprinted back to the llama corral and found Elaine lying on the ground, surrounded by the llamas, who were extremely agitated.
I picked Elaine up. Elaine informed me, Yank, one of our female llamas had run over her while she was distributing the hay. Elaine was knocked on her rear end, and pretty sore. We walked back to the house together. She assured me she was fine.
A couple days later I realized Grandma got run over by a llama. I think Elaine got some bad Christmas karma, comparing me to Santa.
Our crazy lives!