The time was 12:30 AM. I was sound asleep and dreaming about dyeing yarn. (I might have fibbed a little in the last sentence. I was asleep but, I made up the part about the dream. I just wanted you guys to remember theses are stories about a yarn store.) Our phone was ringing.
Someone: Monner, (not my real name) Your yaks are in my yard.
Someone: Your yaks, they are in my yard.
Me: Who is this?
Someone: S______a, (neighbor to the south) My dogs won’t stop barking at them. I thought I had buffalo in my yard. I noticed one of them was black and white. They are your yaks. They are in my yard.
Me: $%&*!(insert construction language here) I will come over and get them.
S______a: I’m sorry!
I am now thinking semi-clearly and wondering. What is she sorry for? Did she invite the yaks over and this whole ordeal is her fault? Is she sorry for waking me? Were the yaks at her house for hours and she waited to call? Or was she (most likely) feeling sorry for me?
I dressed and headed outside. I have mentioned before, the yaks will come to me when I whistle. It was dark outside (obviously) and I could not see the yaks. It is also a half mile to the neighbors (yard.) I whistled and filled a bucket with grain. Elaine and Ivy came outside to help. The three of us jumped into the car with the grain.
We drove down our driveway up the road and started down the neighbors drive. Halfway down their driveway, the headlights of the car located the yaks. They were coming up the driveway….fast. The yaks heard the whistle. They were headed home. They started following the car home…….for awhile. Cheese veered off, taking his buddies with him.
Cheese: Hey fellas, this way, I know where we got out.
Mac: We are right behind you. Let’s try to beat them back to the corral.
Franks: (said nothing, he’s the quiet one.)
Me: Hey, you idiots need to follow me.
I got out of the car and shook the grain bucket. The yaks decided to follow me. I turned and ran with the grain bucket. Yep, running (me!)with a grain bucket, in the dark, I convinced the yaks to follow me. Yep, 2400 pounds of yak chasing me back to their pen.
Believe it or not, I got a little tired running, OK, more than a little. Hey, you try running uphill carrying a bucket of grain, with yaks chasing you! Between our driveway and the neighbors is a strategically placed cattle guard. (If you don’t understand the term “cattle guard”, please check the internet.) I made it to the cattle guard before the yaks could catch me. Standing in the center of the cattle guard (where the yaks couldn’t get me) I waited… and waited for Elaine and Ivy to catch up in the car (I can run really fast with yaks chasing me, you can too.) They picked me up and gave me a ride the rest of the way to the corral gate (another 1/4 mile). By now the yaks were really wanting to be home. They were thirsty and just as tired as I was.
It worked pretty well! Except for the scratch on my forehead from the barb wire. And Oh yeah, Ivy did get in a little scrap with Franks’ horns. (no one is hurt).
Wanna know the best thing? Elaine, Ivy and I were back in bed by 1:00 AM. Elaine was asleep by 1:10 AM! I had to watch TV for awhile.
Our crazy lives!