Down deep I knew Elaine was not going to live without flooring in the house. While I was admiring the rough plywood flooring and thinking, “Hey, I can live with this” Elaine was already on the website of The Orange Depot.
Just as I was sitting down admiring our new carpetless floors, Elaine called me over to look at her computer.
Elaine: This flooring is nice, what do you think of it?
Me: I kind of like what we have.
Elaine: This one is nice, it will match our cabinets. Do you like it?
Me: It’s great. How much does it cost? How long do I need to stand here?
Elaine: The website says The Orange Depot does not have any in our town, but they have 148 boxes in the next town.
Me: This will be great. We get flooring that matches the cabinets, and we get to drive even farther to pick it up. Everybody wins!
I know you do-it-yourselfers like store like The Orange Depot. Me. not so much. Actually, I don’t believe any old school construction guy (or girl) likes The Orange Depot.
Give me the local lumber yard where the lumber is in the yard out back. I can drive my truck into the yard, fill it with what I need, pay for it and leave. At The Orange Depot, I get to park my truck in a huge lot filled with SUV’s, get an orange cart that has three wheels going one direction and one wheel going in a direction of its own. I forgot to mention, the cart is most likely squeaking so loudly you cannot hear the person next to you. (More about that later.) You put all your heavy stuff on your cart and try to drag your cart to the registers. Depending on how far you drag your cart is how loud and often you use your construction language.
Let’s talk about squeaky carts. The truth is they can be quite handy. The Orange Depot positions an employee in a ugly orange apron every seven feet to ask me, “Hello, welcome to Orange Depot, can I help you find something?” If your cart is squeaky enough you can pretend you can’t hear them!
I know I giving you the idea I am just a crochety old man. Can't The Orange Depot place the employees eight feet apart? That way they won’t annoy me as much.
Anyway, Elaine drove down to the next town to buy the flooring. The Orange Depot helped her put half of the flooring in her SUV while it was parked in the parking lot. (Sound familiar) The Orange Depot agreed to send the other half of our flooring to our local store for pickup.
I went to our local store to pick up the second half of flooring. Yes, I parked in the parking lot. Of course, I was greeted at the door.
Depot employee: Hi, welcome to Orange Depot, can I help you find something?
Me: Yes, I have an order in will/call.
Employee: Follow me!
I walked to the back of the store with this kid. He was chatty and quite nice. He found my order and said, “Let’s get a cart, I will help you load it and then we will drag it up and take care of the paperwork.”
The cart was so heavy it took both of us to pull it. At the front of the store he says, “If you have any other shopping you can get it now and we can take care of everything at the same time.”
I brought my other stuff to the register. The kid was gone. (I might have whispered some construction language here.) I see him walking away at the other end of the store. He was taking off his orange apron. I ran him down.
Me: Hey buddy, are we going to finish the paperwork?
Employee: I’m on break, one of the girls will help you.
He was right, one of the girls helped me. Except for the hauling my flooring on the squeaky orange cart into the parking lot. I did that myself.
Our crazy lives!
PS Do you want to know the best thing about our laminate floors? You can hear every step the dogs take, all four dogs, all four legs. It sounds like tap dancing!