24″ of Snow, I/4 Mile of Driveway and One Popcorn Kernel
When the snowstorm was over I guessed we had 30″ of accumulation. Our neighbor across the road told me we had 40″ of snow. If anyone is going to exaggerate it is going to be me and I’m sticking with 30″. By last Saturday night the snow had melted and blown to a point where I would have guessed there was still 24″ in the driveway. We were able to get two cars down the driveway and park them on the road. We were getting quite good on placing groceries, hay or whatever on the Twins’ sled and sliding the stuff to the house. Our lives are full of adventure and this was just one of them.
We were quite comfortable in our house Saturday and I was watching television in my bedroom. I was getting sleepy and started getting ready for bed. Elaine was already asleep at 10:30 PM. I heard the Twins sneaking up the stairs. Groggy and dressed in my underwear, I met them at the top of the stairs. Girl Twin told me, “Monner, Boy Twin needs to talk to you.”
Something told me it was time to wake up and listen. “What’s up?”
Boy Twin: Monner, I have a popcorn kernel stuck in my ear. Me: What? Girl Twin: It’s in there, I can see it.
Have you ever asked a question you are quite sure what the answer is going to be? Maybe a question that you know the answer will either irritate or even possibly make you angry.
I had to ask!
Me: Why do you have a popcorn kernel stuck in your ear? Boy Twin: (Sticking his hand on his face) Well, I put it here and…. Me: (Interrupting) You better stop right there. Don’t finish this story. I’m not going to like it.
I know you parents out there are thinking how are we going to get the popcorn kernel out of his ear. I wasn’t thinking that. Not at all. I was thinking about walking in 24″ deep snow, down the 1/4 mile driveway, in the dark, at 10:30 at night, to drive to Urgent Care, 40 miles away, to get a POPCORN KERNEL out of an EAR! (Sorry, I was getting a little emotional.)
I think Boy Twin worked awhile trying to get it out himself, and successfully pushing it to where it fit perfectly deeper into his ear. Oh, we tried a couple things to remove the POPCORN KERNEL from his EAR. Tweezers, too big. Needle-nose pliers, way too big. A bent bobby-pin, too big. Ivy suggested putting a drop of super-glue on a Q-tip, gluing the Q-tip to the kernel and pulling it out. (More about this later.) Unfortunately, we didn’t have any Super-Glue. Getting Super-Glue didn’t seem any better than going to Urgent Care.
Me: Does your ear hurt? Boy Twin: No, and I can hear, too! Me: Good, we are not going to urgent Care tonight, we can go in the morning.
I had planned on staying home Sunday to plow the driveway and push snow away from the corrals to make it easier to feed the livestock. Of course, that didn’t happen. I needed to go into town to get a POPCORN KERNEL out of an EAR. (Sorry)
At Urgent Care the male receptionist asked what he could do for us.
Me: The kid has something in his ear. Receptionist: Do we know what it is? Me: Yeah, It’s a popcorn kernel. Receptionist: …….Oh. Me: It’s OK, we are wondering, also.
After a typical Urgent Care wait (seemingly forever)( I think they wanted to make sure I was not going to accomplish anything at home) a nurse took Boy Twin to an exam room. She took Boy Twin’s vitals, looked in his ear, mentioned it looked stuck in there and proceeded with a lecture about what not to stick in your ear.
Personally, I didn’t need a lecture and by now I think Boy Twin realized that sticking a POPCORN KERNEL in his EAR wasn’t such a great idea.
It wasn’t long and the PA came in to try to remove the popcorn kernel from Boy Twin’s ear. Did you catch that? He TRIED to remove the kernel; keyword-”tried”. After working for a while, he spoke those dreaded words, “I think we may need to send him to a specialist.” He started his lecture, but somehow I think he realized I was not in the mood for another “never stick anything in an orifice” speech and quit.
An appointment was made at an Ear, Nose,and Throat Doctor’s office for Monday. Boy Twin will now need to miss school because he has a POPCORN KERNEL stuck in his EAR.
Elaine took Boy Twin to his appointment Monday morning. Upon arriving in town Monday, Elaine found out the appointment had been pushed to late afternoon. Elaine and Boy Twin turned around and went back to school. This forced Elaine to go back to town, to work at her drawing powerlines job, only to leave work early, go back to the school and get Boy Twin for his late afternoon appointment. Who’s complaining; but Elaine put 275 miles on the SUV because of a POPCORN KERNEL in Boy Twin’s EAR.
At the ENT’s office the Doctor used four different instruments to remove the kernel. Four instruments and then the lecture. I didn’t mind this lecture. Elaine had to listen to it. I was building houses.
While Elaine was at the ENT’s, I was talking to my cousin on the phone. I told him the popcorn kernel story and we laughed. My cousin has a doctorate in something medical or something. I read his resume on the Internet one time. I understood about three words on the resume and two of those words were his name. Anyway, after we finished talking I received a text message from him. It said, “Put a drop of Super-Glue on a Q-Tip”
Our crazy lives!
Monner
