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New Years Resolutions

If you are still wondering about the color of Girl Twin’s headphones, they are blue. Elaine found them this morning. The headphones were in the top left dresser drawer. Elaine tried to tell me why she couldn’t find them, but I stopped listening. I’m just glad we could find them. Now Christmas can be over.

I’ve turned my attention to my New Year’s resolutions. I’ve got a couple ideas for resolutions this year.

1. I’m going to get in shape. 2. I would like to compete in the Iditarod. 3. Get more G’s. 4. Find Not Me.

I like making New Year’s resolutions. Of course, I really don’t plan on keeping any of them. I have already thought of reasons why I can’t keep them.

Resolution #1- That ship has sailed. The only running I can see myself doing is if I’m barefoot and the pavement is hot. OK, I am fibbing a little. For Christmas I received a watch. Of course it keeps excellent time. The watch also lays a guilt trip on me by keeping track of how many steps I have walked, stairs I have climbed, calories burned each day. If that’s not bad enough, the watch sets unattainable goals for me. Nothing like a good ol’ Christmas gift to make you feel like a loser.

Resolution #2- This one actually makes sense. I have some big dogs. I have warm clothes. I like camping. I like sliding on sleds. This was the resolution I thought I would keep. Then someone told me I need more dogs. If four dogs aren’t enough I better stay home.

Resolution #3- I’m not really sure what G’s are. I just know I need more of them. I didn’t know I needed more G’s until this past Christmas Eve-Eve (two days before Christmas). Christmas Eve-Eve I tried to get on the internet at home. Tried is the key word. I didn’t have enough G’s. Boy Twin used ALL my G’s tracking Santa. Huh, I didn’t know that could happen either. I guess internet providers punish people for living in the country by limiting their G’s. City people get all the G’s they want, along with pavement, loud neighbors and stoplights. Country people get just a few G’s and no pavement. No G’s means no internet. No internet means no Monner’s Mumblings. I had to outsmart my internet provider, I drove to the store where I have more G’s; city G’s. If someone will tell me what G’s look like or where they keep them in our store, I will take some home. Maybe if someone has some extra G’s they aren’t using, I could borrow them. Could you put them in a bag and drop them by the store? I will take good care of them. I resolve to get more G’s (or keep Boy Twin from using all of mine live streaming Santa’s voyage).

Resolution #4- This is another resolution I’m not sure I will keep. I have been looking for Not Me since my first batch of kids. I couldn’t find Not Me this past week. I have water-proof, cold weather camo boots. It snowed Christmas Day. I thought it would be fun to play in the snow. It would have been a good idea to wear the boots I just described. I put on the left boot without incident. I can’t say that about the right boot. The right boot was missing the laces. Ever the quick thinker, I called for the twins. “Who took the laces out my boot?” In unison, they blamed, “Not Me!”

Who is this Not Me person? This person has stolen from me before. “Who took my hammer”? “Not Me!” Why do the dogs let this person in my house? Maggie doesn’t let anyone else in our house.

I resolve to find Not Me. If I find Not Me looks an awful lot like Boy Twin, I’m going to, well, know what Not Me looks like.

Dish TV tells me I won’t get my share of G’s until January 10th. Mumblings may come at unusual times until our internet privileges are restored. Blame Boy Twin, Santa and satellite internet.

2015 is coming! Let’s make it peaceful, prosperous and full of laughs. Happy New Year!

Our crazy lives!


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