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The Engineer

I haven’t written in a while. The truth is it has been pretty dull around here. If you haven’t noticed I write non-fiction. I don’t have much of an imagination, This life is crazy enough that I don’t have time to write about stuff that didn’t and can’t happen.

I do have a smart phone stories to tell; with the twin’s Christmas cell phones both received cases for their phones. The young lady at (sounds like Horizon) convinced Elaine and I to buy these super-duper cases by throwing her own phone across the store without it breaking. The cases were quite expensive, but if you have ever had to replace a broken phone you know a good case is worth it.

Boy Twin (our engineer) has a bad habit of taking things apart to see how they work. I observed him several times with his case off checking it out. Would you like to guess where this is going? Oh, come on, I could stop writing now if this story was that obvious.

Elaine had a repair project that needed Super Glue. Elaine searched the obvious places for Super Glue and was unable to locate the glue. She asked the family, “Have anyone seen the Super Glue?” Without exception, Ivy and the twins replied, “Not Me!”

Once again Not Me came into our house, this time taking our Super Glue. After a short investigation it was determined Boy Twin had the Super Glue before Not Me removed it from our house. Boy Twin is constantly engineering something in his room and Super Glue is one of his favorite engineering tools.

With the twin’s phones sitting side-by-side on the kitchen cabinets the adults noticed the phones looked different. Not the phones, just the cases. A short observation and conversation revealed Boy Twin’s phone case was broken.

Boy Twin’s phone case looked like it had melted. He told me he would never melt his phone by asking me. “why would I melt my phone case? Did you see that the holes at the buttons don’t line up?”

Elaine and I took the case back to (sounds like Horizon). The store clerk said, “Sir, this case has been melted. I would like to help you, but your 30 day warranty expired two days ago.”

I was looking a his two inch diameter ear plugs so I was having difficulty enjoying our conversation anyway. But when he told me it was out of warranty I decided we weren’t going to be friends. Elaine made me leave the store.

Disappointed, I went home to tell Boy Twin that warranties are time sensitive and he needs to tell us immediately when thing break. That was when he informed me he dropped his super-duper case breaking it. He used Super Glue to repair it. The Super Glue chemically melted the case. He didn’t lie! He didn’t melt the case, he glued it! He now is the proud owner of a chemically melted $100 phone case. I still don’t like the guy with the two inch diameter ear plugs.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. The store is having its annual Non-Super Bowl Party. I don’t get invited to attend. I was asked to make salsa for the party, but I don’t get to have any.

I make pretty good salsa. OK, its really good. People ask for my recipe all the time. Sorry, you don’t get recipes on this blog. You get life lessons. No recipes here.

I most likely won’t watch the Super Bowl, but I don’t get to go to the store party. I like football, but I don’t like most football players. I have a hard time with people that have more tattoos than words in their vocabulary.

The Non-Super Bowl Party is from 2:30-5:00 today. Stop by.

Our crazy lives!


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Christmas Technology

Posted on January 17, 2015 by monner


Just like my parents before me, Elaine and I broke down and bought cell phones for the twins at Christmas. With our crazy schedules and the twin’s school 40 minutes from our house, our store and my construction life; Elaine and I succumbed to the repeated requests.

I’m not sure it was a good decision. With the phones, I gave the twins the following “rule”.

Rule: Don’t text me. I won’t answer it.

Apparently they are following the rule. They aren’t texting me. However, they are texting EVERYONE else. Elaine received our first monthly bill since adding the twins’ phones. Thank God for unlimited texting.

Sadly, we do not have unlimited data on our monthly plan. We have televisions, tablets, and computers all with internet service. Girl Twin chose not to use any of them and burned through a month’s worth of data watching a movie on her phone.

I mentioned my parents bought cell phones for Christmas presents. My four brothers worked with my father in a family owned construction company. Me? I was more of the “black sheep” type and was encouraged to pursue employment elsewhere. That said, at Christmas time it didn’t matter what color my “wool” was or where I worked, our mother insisted my brothers and I received exactly the same Christmas present. One year our presents were cell phones.

My brothers and I opened our boxes containing the cell phones. Each one of my brothers’ cell phone boxes had their new phone numbers printed on the outside of the box. I noticed no number was printed on my box. I asked my mother, “Hey, what’s the phone number of this phone?” She replied, “The company is going to pay for the phone service of your brothers’ phones. You don’t work for the company so we didn’t hook your phone up.”

Yep, she bought me exactly the same present as my brothers, but mine was going to cost $150/mo. It was one of those old “brick” phones, which was exactly what I wanted to use it for; a brick.

By adding the twins’ cell phones to our monthly service plan we received a free tablet. Elaine, Ivy and the twins already have tablets, so I guess the new one is mine. Of course, it is now 2015 and in 2015 the word “free” actually means $10/month. My free tablet costs $10/month.

We bought the twins’ phones and the FREE tablet the week before Christmas. I took it out of my drawer last Sunday. I had trouble setting the clock, so Ivy helped me. When Ivy was finished setting the clock, she handed the tablet back to me. I put it back in the box. We use the tablet to separate our mail on top of my desk. For only ten dollars a month you can get a tablet to separate your bills from your magazines and catalogs.

Santa did bring me a piece of electronic technology I like. I have grown to like my step counting, calorie counting, sleep monitoring wristwatch. I have daily goals set on the watch that if/when I meet my goal the watch sends me emails telling me how wonderful I am. When I remember to wear it.

Strangely, I find myself climbing stairs, turning around and climbing the same stairs again. I walk to nowhere and then back. I wore the watch 5 straight days and am exceeding my goals everyday. Then I forgot to wear the watch shattering my streak.

When I realized I wasn’t wearing my watch I called home hoping Elaine could bring the watch to town. Sadly, Elaine informed me she wouldn’t be coming to town that day.

Me: Can you bring my watch to town? Elaine: I won’t be coming to town. I’m working at the house today. Me: I’m going to break my streak. There is no way I can get to 10,000 steps if I don’t get that watch soon. Elaine: Sorry! Me: I have an idea! Why don’t you wear my watch until I get home? Elaine: I am not wearing your watch. Me: The watch won’t know it is you. Just put it on and walk up and down the stairs about ten times and I can finish when I get home.

The phone went dead. I’m pretty sure she hung up. The streak is gone. I’m thinking about putting the watch on the desk with my tablet.

Our crazy lives!


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