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Spiders, Bees, Butterflies and Procedures

March 20, 2016

The calendar tells us that today is the spring equinox.  As I write this story the temperature outside my house is 16 degrees.  I’m thinking that the calendar should adjust itself so that it is at least 40 degrees warmer on the first day of spring.  Or maybe move the first day of spring to some time in May.  We are able to change the clocks for Daylight Savings Time, why not the calendar?

 

The local schools used the calendar and declared last week Spring Break.  Spring Break is different than when I was a kid.  My Spring Breaks were like a long weekend.  The school administrators gave the kids Friday and the following Monday off and called it Spring Break.

 

School administrators now give kids an entire week plus two weekends off and call that Spring Break.  Administrators feel kids now need more than a couple days off to stay focused until the end of the school year.  They can’t fool me!  That’s just some politically correct Bull (construction language).  The real reason is teachers have been dealing with your kids long enough and feel like parents should watch them for a while.

 

(Maggie is sitting next to me demanding that I pet her.  I am once again typing with one hand, er, finger.)

 

Construction and Spring Break don’t work well together.  (Not to mention, knitting stores do not close for Spring Break.)  Building houses take several months.  Sometimes you start a house in the fall and finish in the spring.  Sometimes people want to move into their house on Spring Break.  Sometimes I am busy finishing a house, and too busy to take the kids to the beach, skiing, Disneyland or anywhere else.

 

Elaine and I (and Ivy) usually try to do something “special” with the kids for Spring Break.  Boy Twin was invited to spend the week with the family of one of his friends.  I thank them; that took care of one problem while I finish a house.

 

Construction is not the only thing that interferes with Spring Break.  Without paying attention to the Spring Break calendar, Elaine scheduled a dental procedure during Spring Break and I scheduled a medical procedure also.  (We can talk about the those in a minute.)

 

Now for Girl Twin.  It was suggested we take a couple day trips around the area.  We headed off towards the zoo.

 

Considering I am a senior citizen, I have been to a zoo a few times in my life.  between you and I, I wasn’t looking forward to a trip to the (construction language) zoo.

 

Halfway to the zoo, I suggest maybe we go to an antique auto museum I attended with the Boy Scouts when I was a kid.  I saw the look I was getting from the three females in the vehicle with me and quickly retracted the suggestion.

 

Someone suggested we go to the Butterfly Pavilion.  This was a destination that was not on my “bucket list”, but it wasn’t going to be another trip to the zoo.  I thought about suggesting the auto museum one more time, but decided against it.

 

Standing in line, waiting to get in the Butterfly Pavilion I was behind a man and a toddler.  The man proudly announced he was a member of the Pavilion and he would like his discount.  I thought maybe this was going to be great.  If people were members that meant they would come back several times.  I was encouraged.

Of course, I was not a member so I would not be receiving any discount.  I was going to pay the full $11.00 (times four) to look at butterflies.

 

Once inside we were directed to a room full of spiders.  This confused me.  I was not sure if seeing spiders was simply a bonus to the butterflies or we had made a mistake and somehow got into a Spider Pavilion.  I saw a Black Widow spider living in a glass enclosure.  I see them sometimes in our barn without paying $11.00.  I usually step on them.

 

There was a guy sitting in the corner holding a tarantula.  He asked me if I wanted to hold it.  I thought I was being polite, when I simply said, “NO”.  By the look on his face, I think I hurt his feelings.  I really wanted to step on the tarantula, but I didn’t tell him that.

 

Next up was a glass beehive.  (Where are the butterflies?)  There is a glass beehive in a store in our hometown.  They don’t charge $11.00 to look at it.

 

Finally we got to the butterflies.  Did you know that looking of butterflies comes with its own set of rules.  You cannot touch the butterflies, swat at the butterflies, or breathe on the butterflies.  If the butterflies land on you, you must let an attendant swat or breathe on the butterfly to get it off.

 

Actually, the butterflies were quite beautiful.  You can see them in about three minutes (seven, if you want to take photos).

 

Next, we were routed into a room filled with ants, cockroaches and beetles.  I was dreaming about antique automobiles.  I would have gladly paid another $11.00 to go outside.  I didn’t need to pay $11.00, up next was the gift shop, (where I could have spent $1100.00) and the exit.

 

Girl Twin and Ivy liked what they saw.  This is one you need to decide for yourself.  If you like bugs, go to the Butterfly Pavilion (or Forney’s Auto Museum) next Spring Break.

 

********

 

Last week I read on the internet that a product I use causes cancer.  I found that alarming because I had scheduled a cancer screening procedure.  (I wanted to include the photos the doctor gave me after the procedure, but Elaine said no.)

 

After the procedure was over, I was offered coffee by the hospital staff.  Would you like to guess what came with the coffee?  Yep, the same stuff the internet informs us causes cancer.

 

This caused me to wonder.  Does the hospital try to give you cancer after they tell you you don’t have it?  ”Sir,  your procedure shows that you are cancer free, use this product and better luck next time.” Or is the internet wrong?

 

Hope you had/have a great Spring Break with your kids!

 

Our crazy lives!

 

Monner

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