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Rice is Nice

April 24, 2016

 

It’s been nearly a year and a half since Elaine and I made the decision that changed the twin’s lives for the better.  At least in their eyes.  In my eyes, we might have made a mistake.

 

Yes, I’m talking about buying the twins smartphones.

 

Girl Twin has been most effected by the decision to buy phones.  Boy Twin not so much.

 

Girl Twin uses her phone for texting, phone calls, social media and games.  The phone enables her to stay close to her friends in both positive and negative ways.

 

Boy Twin uses his phone to ignore phone calls and texts, steal his grandmother’s phone charger, pretend his battery is dead, let his battery go dead, play games and text his girlfriend.

 

Girl Twin left her phone in a backpack in the locker room of her school while playing softball.  After the game Girl Twin found her phone was missing from her backpack.  She was convinced the phone was stolen.  I was not sure it wasn’t just lost.  Girl Twin and I retraced her steps of the day and did not find the phone.  Elaine stopped service on the phone.  After a couple days Girl Twin filed a report with the schools police officer.

 

There seems to be a lot of girl drama at the school.  The police officer suggested that possibly the phone was thrown away by a grumpy friend.  I guess that’s what friends do.

 

Girl Twin, now in full panic, realized she no longer had a smartphone.  She asked how she could earn enough to replace the phone.  While I admire her for at least thinking she could earn enough for a phone, she wasn’t pleased when I told her it would take a year.  I suggested she might want to make a deal with Ivy to use Ivy’s phone and Ivy could get a new one.

 

Girl Twin:  I’m not using that old phone!
Me: Suit yourself!
Girl Twin: That phone does not work like my old one.
Me: Ivy, does your phone text, make calls, get on the internet and play games?
Ivy: Yes
Girl Twin: I’m not using that phone!

 

After a couple weeks, Girl Twin’s stance on the phone softened a bit.  ”Can I at least get a new case for Ivy’s phone?”  We were now getting somewhere!

 

Before Ivy could get around to getting a new phone, she had an accident with her phone, her pants and a toilet.  Simply put, her phone fell out of her pants into a toilet.  This accident was bittersweet for Ivy, Girl Twin and even, me.

 

The bitter for Ivy was, she was now without a phone.  The sweet, she was getting a new phone anyway.  The bitter for Girl Twin, now she is not getting Ivy’s phone.  The sweet, she might need a new phone also.  For me, the bitter is I am now listening to two females complaining they have no phone.  The sweet, when you turned on Ivy’s phone, the screen was an incredible shade of green that I want to duplicate on a skein of yarn.

 

Somewhere on the internet, Ivy read that electronics that had an encounter with water could be brought back to life by covering the device with uncooked rice.  The theory was the rice draws the moisture out of the device.

 

Ivy decided to try the rice method on her phone.  After twenty-four hours the green screen was gone, but the phone did not work.  Ivy decided to give it another try.  Another twenty-four hours and the phone worked perfectly.

 

I found myself amused by girl Twin’s phone dilemma.  And then karma punched me in the face.

 

The wind blows in Northern Colorado, especially at night.  I am a light sleeper.  I don’t have trouble falling asleep, just staying asleep.  Dogs, kids, noise from outside, and wind, especially the wind awakens me.

 

Hang with me, I’m getting to the karma part.

 

My doctor suggested years ago that I listen to the radio to block out the wind noise.  Not wanting to keep Elaine awake with a radio blaring (yes, I can be considerate and caring) I asked for and received one of those “ithings” that will record music and audiobooks.

 

Ivy took some old CDs (because I was incapable of doing it myself) and recorded them on the “ithing”.  Twenty- four hours of music recorded on something the size of a credit card.

 

It didn’t keep me asleep.  When Blues Traveler kicks in, the last thing I want to do is sleep.

 

Elaine suggested we try audiobooks.  (Don’t give up on the karma part,)  The audiobooks worked! Elaine loaded more books.  (Again, because I didn’t know how.)  I was sleeping.

 

And then someone at the “fruit company” invented an even smaller “ithing”.  This one has FM radio.  I had to have it.  Ivy loaded the music again.  Elaine loaded the audiobooks.  (With them knowing how to load thing saves me from learning. It’s kind of like “You can give a man a fish and he will have a meal.  OR you can teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”  It’s their fault I don’t know how to load things.)

 

I found that NPR puts and keeps me asleep all night.  (I might need to get up to use the restroom, I am a senior citizen.)

 

This might be too much information, but I sleep in old gym shorts.  (Here come the karma)   Elaine thought it was a good idea to do some laundry.  She washed my gym shorts.  Yep, the “ithing” was in the pocket of my gym short.  Blues Traveler, gone!  ten audiobooks, gone!  NPR, gone!

 

I was devastated.  Elaine started searching the “River in South America” for “ithings”.  We could still get one.  Elaine ordered the “ithing”.  It will be here in a couple days.

 

Through the tears in my eyes, I noticed the bowl of rice Ivy used to dry out her phone.  I thought it can’t hurt.  I put the “ithing” in the rice.  Twenty-four hours later, NPR was back.  Blues Traveler, the books, everything.  I knew rice was not for eating.

 

I will never laugh at Girl Twins phone problems again.  I’ve got an extra “ithing” in case we forget to buy rice.

 

Our crazy lives!

 

Monner

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