The Festival and the Start of School

Summer is officially over. School starts tomorrow. Well, its kind of already started, but we need to talk about a couple other things first.

Last weekend was the New West Fest in our town. Elaine and Ivy debated this year whether to participate or not. I was definitely in the do not participate camp. When Elaine and Ivy read this you might hear some yelling. They seem to think I was in agreement that we should be a part of the festival again. Actually, when they were debating, I accidentally stopped listening. I thought they were asking me if I wanted dinner when I said yes.

Based on the previous paragraph, you can guess it didn’t go well for us. Before you start feeling sorry for Elaine and Ivy (and me), let me finish the story.

The festival organizers put Elaine’s booth in the same area as a “let’s get out the vote” booth.

Before I go any farther, let me give you my thoughts on voting. (Oh-oh, Elaine just got her hackles up. She thinks I’m getting political.) If you can’t look around and see that you need to vote, you don’t deserve to vote.

The “Let’s get out the Vote” booth was passing out pins if they could get you to register. The pins said, “VOTE F$CKER” If that pin gets you to vote, you are too STUPID to vote. Someone please tell me what happened to us.

That said, the booth registered hundreds of people in various levels of sobriety for a free pin. God, help us.

That group of pin wearers stood in front of Elaine’s booth (and the painter’s booth next to Elaine) and prevented customers from entering Elaine’s (and the painter’s) booth. Elaine didn’t sell a thing the first day. Ivy sold a couple headbands the second day.

I think if Elaine’s garments would have said, “WEAR THIS, F$CKER!”, Elaine would have sold out.

OK, I told you not to feel sorry for us. At the store, YOUR DAILY FIBER, while the festival was going on, we were having the best day of 2016. Would you like to guess who was running the store? Yep, Ol’ Monner! OK, Ivy was there part of the day.

We won’t be going back to New West Fest next year. Just come see us in the store.

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It looks like it is going to be a great school year.

I know that school officially starts Monday but the twins have already been to school. A couple weeks ago, we received an email from the school requesting that the students come to school early for orientation.

While that seems like a pretty good request, let me tell you what orientation meant. Orientation meant pick up their schedule of classes, find where in the building the student’s lockers were.

Orientation was scheduled for one afternoon from 1:00-3:00. It is a very good thing that Elaine and I have flexible schedules. Of course, the busses weren’t running, so I’m guessing that most parents had to take off work to get the kids to school.

Did I mention this is shaping up to be a good year? I might be fibbing a little. School hasn’t started yet and Elaine and I have already had a call from the assistant principal. I guess the kids are already playing “smart” phone games. I’m not talking about Pokémon Go.

One or more of the students opened an Insta-crap account for the purpose of pointing out the weight, hair, sexual preference, athletic ability, popularity, smiles, skin tone and choice of friends of about 15 other students. Word of the new account got back to the school. Girl Twin was “lucky” enough to get on the list of fifteen. Boy Twin didn’t make the list.

If Girl Twin didn’t know it before, she has hair, she is not as good at sports as she thinks she is, and is kind of weird. Hey, she is just like Ol’ Monner. except for the part of not being as good as I think I am, I’m better.

I asked Boy Twin why he wasn’t on the list. Girl Twin believes Boy Twin is not on the list because she is more popular. He thinks it is because he doesn’t keep up with Insta-crap. For a couple seconds, I thought it was really strange the Insta-crapper left him off the list. I wondered if he could be the Insta-crapper. Then Boy Twin reminded me, he was with me. I never was good at mysteries. Oh yeah, he does not have a phone, he can’t find it again.

I can fix this! Take the phones away from these kids. I have yet to see any good from all these phones.

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I have more good news. I am going to do another project in the mall. I’m really excited about it. This project will have nothing to do with T-shirts, fake tattoos or anything like that. I will be building a facility for something that is more like me. I will be building a day spa. Yep, massages, facials, waxing, skin peels and tanning. Finally……I’ve waited years for a place to relax on Saturdays!

I have already been told that I can’t wear shorts. I’m having trouble with that. I enter my project using the same sidewalk that I share with teenage girls wearing Daisy Dukes and sandals, but my employers are worried about what I’m wearing. No one can even see my rump.

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Now we need to talk about the store. We want to thank everyone who stopped by during the yarn crawl. Elaine and I are off to Jackson, Wyoming again next month. Elaine is showing garments at the Western Design Conference and I’m going along to carry stuff. It was actually Ivy’s turn to go, as she will also be showing her weavings. But that would mean that I would be in charge of the store for a week. Something told Ivy she could not trust me for that length of time, so she decided to stay home.

Our crazy lives!

Monner