With the end of Yarn Fest last weekend, you probably think that I am now able to go into "rest and relax" mode. At least, that's what I thought. Sadly, I misjudged Elaine and Ivy.
Immediately after finishing writing my story last week, Ivy and Elaine (not necessarily in that order) informed me we needed to run into the store to rehang the yarn and rearrange the store.
I mistakenly interpreted what they said by thinking I was going to drive with them into town and watch them rearrange the store. You see, both twin were at sleepovers, and I'm not the stay at home, read a book kind of guy. (We can talk about sleep overs in a minute.) I thought it would be nice going into town. Maybe we could go to lunch.
Well, that didn't happen. Oh, I went to town alright. That was the only thing I guessed right. When we opened the door of the store, Elaine said, "Monner, why don't you put the spinning wheels over there?" I thought, "Hey, that'll take only a couple minutes, then we can go to lunch!" Elaine wasn't finished, and then Ivy got into it.
"Don't sit down, put that over here." I realized I would have been better off lonely at home. I knew those (construction language) sleepovers were a mistake. And then I thought I found my break when Elaine said "Monner, will you take these crates upstairs?" That was the break I was looking for. I would take the crates upstairs and "forget" to come back down.
I made another mistake. I had the volume on the television too high. They knew I was watching television. It was not my fault; they have good hearing. I got caught and was asked to help until the job was finished. I'm saying now I was asked, but you and I know they weren't asking.
The store was arranged and the yarn was hanging, I (mistakenly) started feeling pretty good about myself. AND THEN..........Elaine says, "We need to talk about the custom dye jobs we have from the Yarn Fest." I looked around to see if anyone else was standing there that she could be talking to. Nope, she was talking to me.
Don't worry about me folks, I'm going to learn to stay at home no matter how lonely I get. Sometimes you need to be strong.
I promised we could talk about sleepovers.
Girl Twin likes to spend the weekend in town with a friend that has a trampoline in her backyard. Sounds reasonable.
I know the girl has a trampoline in her backyard, I've seen it. What I don't know why Girl Twin called me on the phone and asked if she could get some money.
Now, I don't think her friend's parents should pay for Girl Twin's entertainment, but I did wonder why she needed money. I asked. "Are you going to a movie?" "No, we are going to Fl&-H% to jump on trampolines!" I was stunned. "Let me get this straight, You are going to spend $14/hr. to jump on trampolines with a trampoline in the back yard. She said, "Yes, Monner, you're so old."
Boy Twin didn't need any money for his sleepover. I'm not sure I didn't HATE his sleepover more than Girl Twin's. Boy Twin called to ask for permission attend a "baby shower" with the parents of his friend. How could you say no to that?
What he didn't say (he says he didn't know) was the "baby shower" had a policeman taking the car keys of the attendees that were doing more than "showering".
Now folks, I've been to "showers" like this, so I know what happens. When Boy Twin said. "I always thought drunks were angry, these guys weren't", I knew I was about to have a long talk with the boy. I would have had Elaine or Ivy do it, but they were always perfect.
Ivy is working on a new website that will allow you to buy "Dyed by Darrell" on a shopping cart page. Ivy and Elaine think I don't have anything to do.
Our crazy lives!