It’s Mother’s Day, and I will talk about that in a minute. First, I need to talk about some more important. You guessed it, shampoo!
As a child, my weekly bath included a thorough hair washing with a beautiful green shampoo called Shrell. OK, that sentence probably has you asking a couple questions
First, if you are under fifty-five years old, you may need to Google, Shrell. (Not it’s real name. We don’t endorse products here.)
Yes, my brothers and I took baths. We had a shower in the house, but we did not have a shower curtain. My brothers and I did not share bath water, at least not all five of us. Bath water was used for no more than three of the Sipes brothers. It was advantageous to be the first brother to take a bath, but not necessary. Baths were never enjoyable, regardless of position in line.
It was not the so much the bath that was miserable, it was the hair washing. My parent always bought a bright Kelly green (We are going to talk about Kelly green in a couple minutes. I will be using “construction language”.) I understand why my parents used this shampoo. It was advertised on television. It had nice packaging. It made nice suds. It was used on things other than hair. It washed dishes, car bumpers and kitchen floors.
When Shrell suds happened to get in your eyes, your eyes were bloodshot until the next bath day.
Eventually, my parents put another shower in our house. Yes, we installed a shower in our basement before we bought a shower curtain for the upstairs bathroom.
My brother’s and I started taking showers, with Shrell.
We can now skip to after Elaine and I are married. (Happy Mother’s Day, Honey.) Elaine and I are at Royalty Soopers buying stuff for our new household. Elaine picked out a frilly shampoo and matching conditioner.
Me: What are you doing?
Elaine: Getting some shampoo.
Me: I only use Shrell!
Elaine: You still use Shrell, that stuff is bad for your hair. We need this shampoo and conditioner.
Me: That stuff cost five bucks, Shrell is seventy-nine cents. (Hey, this was over forty years ago.)
Elaine: We are using my shampoo.
I snuck Shrell into the cart.
Over the years, the Shrell display has gotten smaller in the grocery stores. I have continued to use Shrell, not every day. I have used the shampoo in the little bottles that you get in hotels.
Forty years have passed and now I have Elaine using Shrell. Not on the kitchen floor, she uses it on her hair.
The past few years, Royalty Soopers had always one column of Shrell on the bottom shelf of the shampoo and conditioner section. I asked the kids to get me a bottle.
Kids: There isn’t any Shrell. (My kids have fallen into that “I need shampoo and conditioner” trap.)
Me: It’s on the bottom shelf, go look again.
Kids: No Shrell.
I had to look for myself, no Shrell. I checked a different Royalty Soopers, no Shrell.
I was forced into a dilemma, I had to change shampoos or have Elaine check the evil online site. I know the site is named after a river. I think it's Nile or Volga, something like that..
I don’t like change and I really don’t like Nile. I don’t care if Nile is convenient, I don’t care that they give free shipping, free cake or discounted pricing. Nile created the richest man in the world, by closing local stores. That's not good. I might be wrong but I think the guy's name is Bozo, odd, isn't it?
Royalty Soopers forced my hand, change from the shampoo of my youth or join the evil empire. I have five bottles of Shrell coming from Nile. (Construction language) Royalty Soopers.
Ivy thinks Royal Soopers will order it for me. I’ll ask..
Some of you might know that I dye yarn. I’ve had some success, but obviously not enough. We are going to talk about Kelly green.
My lovely wife, mother of my children handed me five skeins of silk blend yarn with the instructions of “Will you dye these for me? Do anything you want, I’m think blues, purples and teals. Greens are OK, but I don’t want Kelly green.”
Sounds easy doesn’t it. It would have been, if I hadn’t stopped listening at “do anything you want”. I dyed the yarn. It was the only undyed silk yarn in the store. I dyed one skein blue, one violet, one moss green, one turquoise and one (You guessed it!) Kelly green.
Elaine: You didn’t listen to me!
Me: I did for a while.
Elaine: You need to over-dye that skein.
Me: Just give me another (construction language) skein.
Elaine: We don’t have another skein. You don’t listen.
Me: I heard you say, “do anything you want”.
Elaine: I said a lot more than that! Just leave it, I’m starting to like it.
Chalk one up for the ol' dyemaster!
OK, it’s Mother’s Day. I miss my mother and think about her every day. Luckily, I have lived with the best mother for the last forty plus years. I love you.
Here’s to all the mothers (even fairy godmothers) out there. Enjoy your day, we love you. Happy Mother’s Day!
Our crazy lives!