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Birthday 5K, Syrian Brown Bears and Plastic Upholstery

June 2, 2019

It must have about three months ago when Ivy said to me, “Monner, the 5K and 10k Wildlife Sanctuary run is going to be held on my birthday this year.  Do you think we could get the family to run as a present to me?” 

 

Me:  I’m in.  I’ve been waiting to get another trophy.  We can ask the others.
Ivy:  That’s great, but they are not giving trophies this year.
Me:  What?  Why would they doing that to me?
Ivy:  I don’t think they had you in mind, when they decided against trophies.
Me:  Do they have shirts and hats?  They had great shirts last year.
Ivy:  You know you didn’t think the hats fit, last year.  Will you ask mom and the twins to run?
Me:  I’ll ask.

 

Elaine and the both twins actually said yes!  That was three months ago.

Race day (and Ivy’s birthday) was yesterday.  Two weeks ago, reality started setting in.

 

Boy Twin:  I’m thinking of going to a lake in Nebraska for 12 days.
Me:  I’m thinking you committed to running w/Ivy on her birthday.
Boy Twin:  This might be my only chance to go to the lake, I’m going to get a job.
Me:  I like that job thing, but you committed.  Besides, you might win a trophy.  (I didn’t tell the truth there. Parental privilege.)
Ivy:  Let him go, Monner.  I don’t want him grumpy and ruining it.
Girl Twin:  Why do I need to go?
Me:  Here we go!  What if you get to bring a friend?  We’ve already paid for your brother.
Girl Twin:  Any friend?  Like a boy friend?
Me:  Whatever.  Elaine are you still going?
Elaine:  I’m looking forward to it, not the run, but to see all the animals.
Me:  Whatever.

 

This race is quite a distance from our house.  Ivy didn’t tell me the race started at 7:00AM.  An early start time added to the distance from home and now we are picking up a boy, meant we needed to leave our house at 4:45.  In the morning!  4:45 in the (construction language) morning.

 

Leaving at 4:45 was actually not early enough to arrive on time; I might have had to break the law a little.  OK, a lot, but everyone else was breaking the law, also.  I blended right in.

 

We arrived at the race with time to spare.  I noticed a couple things.  There was no timing equipment set up.  We had to time ourselves!  This wasn’t a race at all. I was thinking, “I’ve been up since 4:00AM and we’re not racing!  What the (construction language) is going on!”

 

Before I go on, I must say Elaine is the least athletically competitive person on the planet.  This “race” was perfect for her.  She was going to walk along and see animals.   She was going to take as much time as she needed, but she was going to see animals.  If a lion, tiger or bear escaped during the race, Elaine will be the only one eaten.  Everyone else, will be running ahead of Elaine.  (Sorry, honey.  Just saying.)

 

Elaine:  I’m going to have fun.  Calm down.
Me:  I guess I’ll just walk with you.  It will be fun seeing the animals.
Elaine:  I’m thinking we should walk fast.  Let’s see how fast we can walk.
Me:  Now we’re getting somewhere.

 

Fifty yards into the “race” Elaine said, “There’s a sanctuary employee.  I’m going to ask him, if those are small grizzly bears.”  Seven minutes later Elaine informed me, “Those are Syrian Brown Bears.”  The walking fast and “racing” was over.

 

We saw foxes, bobcats, lions, tigers, bears (several kinds) and bunch of other animals.  We picked up new shirts and hats and spent a couple great hours on a date, together at the Wildlife Sanctuary.  We finished the “race” before girl Twin and the boy.  That’s another story.  Maybe if they would have let go of each other’s hand they could have run.

 

We went to dinner to celebrate Ivy’s birthday. Ivy asked if we could go to Pink Crawdad.  We never go to Pink Crawdad.  I don’t want to make this about me, but I am writing this.

 

I seldom wear full length pants.  Last night was no exception.  Sitting in a Pink Crawdad booth my legs started to sweat on the plastic upholstery.  My legs glued themselves to the booth.  At the completion of dinner, everyone left the booth; except me.  No one even looked back as I was ripping the skin off my legs trying to follow them.  The pain was excruciating, as fellow dinners sat wondering why I was squirming in that booth.

 

Obviously, I was able to get myself released from the plastic upholstery, but don’t think I didn’t consider calling the fire dept.  Oh well, I’m home with just a little less skin on my legs.

 

Next weekend Ivy will be holding a knitting seminar at the Estes Park Wool Market.  Elaine will be holding down the store, teaching her weaving students.  Me?  I will go back to construction,or I could be stuck in a restaurant booth.

 

Our crazy lives!

 

Monner

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