Otis and Hand Soap

I get up on Sunday with the intent of topping last week’s story. Sadly, this week I got nothin’. I cannot top Girl Twin and P$^&#r bringing home a MILK cow (Otis).

I have a story to tell, but first, I’m going to give you a quick Otis update. First, Otis is still here. Girl Twin and P$^&#r have made no plans to take Otis back to town. In the thirteen days that Otis has lived with us; and after me swearing, I would not feed Otis, I have fed Otis seven times. I have driven to town to PURCHASE feed supplements for Otis. OK, I was in town anyway, but I paid for the supplements.

I have no idea how many times Elaine and even Ivy have fed Otis, so I won’t quote an exact number, but I know the number is bigger than mine. Secretly, I think everyone here (except me) actually thinks Otis is kind of fun to have around.

This past week, I suggested a couple times that the longer we keep Otis the more attached we/they are going to get to the cow. I knew I was in trouble, when P$^&#r said, “You can get rid of Otis tomorrow and I’m still going to cry.”

Of course, Girl Twin and P$^&#r are at a sleepover and I will need to feed Otis today. They wanted to go to a sleepover Friday night, but Elaine made them come home to feed Otis after school. I won’t talk about how unfair that decision was, considering it was the first night of Spring Break.

Some of you have asked for a photo of Otis. When I go out to feed, I will take a camera.

I guess its time to talk about the Great BeerVirus Spring Break of 2020. Elaine just gasped, “Oh God, he’s not going there, is he?” Yep, I’m going there.

Elaine and I are sexagenarians. I know, that sounds dirty and I promise never to use that word again. Elaine works in the Electrical Engineering world where she shares cubbies with about forty other (mostly younger) associates. Much to Elaine’s surprise, Ivy reminded Elaine of that fact. Ivy and Elaine have quarantined Elaine to working at home for the next (indefinite) period. Elaine works at home most of the time anyway. For the next few days/weeks Elaine’s involvement in the store will be very limited.

I will continue building the last of three restaurants. When this crisis/media frenzy/pandemic is over people are going to want tacos. The quest for tacos cannot be stopped for a little pandemic. I will do my best to keep a three foot social circle around my body at all times.

Ivy has armed herself with disinfectant spray, hand sanitizers and soap. Incidentally, Ivy did that before the pandemic. Ivy is not afraid of bears, wolverines, zombies, exorcisms or Chucky; but a single germ sends her into a frenzy. Oh yeah, she worries about unlocked doors at the store, also.

The local school district extended Spring Break for at least another week. The rumor is they will try to hold online classes in lieu of actually going to class. This is great for city kids, who have access to unlimited internet usage. For those of us in the country, we get our internet from Satellite companies, and our monthly internet usage is limited. I guess our three teenagers will be spending a lot of time sleeping over at friends using their internet. I guess you are wondering who is going to feed that (construction language) milk cow. I have a pretty good idea!

Your Daily Fiber has plenty of toilet paper. I know this because I bought some. I overheard Ivy tell Elaine the store was out of toilet paper. I was going to Stan’s Club anyway and I picked some up. What I didn’t hear was Elaine telling Ivy we had plenty at the house and we could bring some to the store. I had already picked up a Stan’s Club size package of toilet paper.

When the BeerVirus started to get a little more serious, I started to get into mega shopping, not so much the buying, just the watching. OK, I’m not exactly sure how six cans of albacore tuna and two 40oz bags of whole bean coffee found its way into my cart; but some things you just can’t run out of. I watched a lady back her car into twelve shopping carts being pushed by the parking lot attendant. The lady took off like the attendant had tested positive.

We have extra yarn (and toilet paper) at YOUR Daily Fiber. If you are self-quarantining, we will bring it to your car or house. Ivy has washed her hands and will get you taken care of.

Stay safe, be smart and thanks for reading. (Feel free to comment) Rest assured, tacos are coming. God Bless you guys, this will pass.

Just remember: to all those knitters, weavers, crocheters etc., we’ve prepared for this all our lives.

Our crazy lives!

Monner