Symptoms

September 13, 2020

This story actually happened a couple weeks ago.  However, subject of this story was/is inevitable and Elaine and I have planned for years as best we could. With the announcement of shuttering the store, Vroom school, and mice and flies, I have not been able to tell the story until now.

 

The day started like any other day.  I left for work slightly after the crack of dawn.  Elaine, usually gets up after I have left for work.  Just like you, I have wondered if she stays in bed until I am gone, because (1) I have made the coffee. (2) She doesn’t like to talk in the morning.  (3)  She doesn’t like to talk to me in the morning. (4)  She doesn’t need to get up as early, because she works at home.

 

Personally, I think it is a combination of (1) AND (4).  I don’t think it could be (3) because she calls me on the phone after she has had some coffee.

 

Elaine and I had already had our morning chat, when a couple hours after that call Elaine called me again.

 

Elaine:  Monner, I need you to come pick me up.
Me:  What’s up?
Elaine:  I’m sitting on the deck in the sun wrapped in a blanket.  I can’t stop shaking.
Me:  I’m on my way.  You know it will take an hour.
Elaine: Just come here.

 

As I drove my mind was going faster than my truck.  Beervirus!  That’s the symptoms of beervirus. How in the (construction language) could she get beervirus.  I’ve seen her drink beer, but she would be more adapt to get redwinevirus.

 

As I drove, I called Elaine.  She answered.

 

Me:  How are you doing?  Where are the twins?  They are supposed to be Vroom schooling at home.
Elaine:  No one is here but me. Please hurry.  I’m so cold.
Me:  Girl Twin can get there before me.  I’m sending her. 
Elaine:  Great.
Me:  Do we need to call the ambulance?
Elaine:  Yes.

 

I called Girl Twin and then 911.  Don’t judge me, I knew Girl Twin would beat the ambulance to our house.

 

911:  What is your emergency?
Me:  My wife is having a medical emergency.
911:  What is the address of your emergency?
Me: Blah, blah, County Road Blah, Mountain Town Colorado
911:  Sir, that is out of our jurisdiction.  I will TRY to transfer you.

911:  Mountain Town 911, we have Monner on the phone with a medical emergency.
MT 911:  What is your emergency?
Me:  My wife is having chills and fever.  She is at home alone at Blah blah.  My Girl Twin and I are one the way.
MT 911:  We have dispatched the deputies.

 

I have handled construction medical emergencies before, but this was my baby.  Drive faster, Monner!  Call Ivy, Monner.  Drive faster, Monner.

 

My phone rings.

 

MT 911:  Monner, has Elaine been around anyone with beervirus?
Me:  She works at home.  She wears a mask.  I know of no one that has beervirus?

 

Oh (construction language)!  What if the kids or I, are one of the people that pass around beervirus and never get it?  Drive faster!

 

My phone rings again

.

Girl Twin:  Monner, I am on our road behind an ambulance.  They are driving slow, should I pass them?
Me:  Stay safe, but if it was me, I would pass them.  (not all my advice is good)

 

Girl Twin stayed behind the ambulance and arrived at the house immediately behind the paramedics.  Girl Twin jumped out of the truck and yelled at the paramedics, “CAN’T YOU DRIVE ANY FASTER?”  Elaine was embarrassed.  But not me, when I was told the story.  That’s my girl and I’m not apologizing!

 

Elaine was feeling better as the paramedics took her vitals.  Eventually, the paramedics suggested Elaine go into town and visit with her doctor.

 

OK, this is where it gets a little political.  We were forced to give up our doctor years ago.  Our doctor retired and we now belong to an association of somewhat like a hundred doctors, none of which can see you in an emergency.

 

Yes folks, just like in all professions, there are good and bad characters.  You just need to find the good ones.

 

I took Elaine to the emergency room at the nearest hospital.  She was diagnosed with an infection not related to beervirus or redwinevirus.  A couple pills a day and she will be fine.

 

Oh yeah, when I called Ivy, she asked, “What can I do?’  I told her, “Stay at the store, until I know what is going on?”  She closed the store and started driving home to “help”.  That’s most likely what I would have done, but I acted like I was mad.

 

Our crazy lives!

 

Monner

 

For those of you that are/were wondering, if I was joking about closing the brick and mortar store.  I was not.  The last day we will be open is October 17th.  It is just a change.  It's 2020 with a bad case of beervirus.  Ivy and I are thinking about a book.  Don't worry, we will change the names.

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