Mud

Storms have consequences. I know, I know, elections have consequences, too, but Monner’s Mumblings is not a political blog, and if you don’t believe that ask my wife.


If you have read Monner’s mumblings in the last month you might know, we suffered through the worst storm in two decades. I am pleased to announce the last of the snow that covered our driveway will melt away today. How can I be so sure? Science! I have studied our driveway for the last eighteen years.


Now, I could mention the number of years it took to develop a beervirus vaccine, but that would be political and Elaine will make me delete this paragraph. So, let's just talk about the driveway.


Looking out the window you notice things about things. I know about my driveway.


Our driveway is approximately one-quarter mile long. The driveway runs along the peak of the highest hill on our property. It slopes slightly to one side. Snow drifts along the higher side of the driveway. This I blame on Mother Nature and the (construction language) guy we bought the house from, who placed the driveway on top of the hill. Melting snow naturally runs off the entire length of our driveway. The downhill side tilts towards a creek bed. I explain this to the non-scientists among us.


Melting snow creates a couple of things. Running water and mud. I think we can all agree (not political) running water is quite pretty and soothing. Mud on the other hand can be quite muddy. It sticks to your shoes. It finds its way into your house. Dogs dig in the mud. Mud is not fun.


We have had mud for the better part of a month. Our driveway was so muddy, the UPS and FedEx guys refused to drive down our driveway. They resorted to tying our packages to the fence down at the road and telephoning Elaine to inform her of what they had done.


Luckily, in the morning the mud would freeze. Science! Driving out to the road in the morning wasn’t bad. The afternoon was an entirely different story. Each pass up or down the driveway creates tracks in the dirt deep enough to hide a car in. Hey, I’m the scientist here. Don’t doubt me.


I dig little rivers in the driveway to expedite the runoff, sending water to the creek bed. The UPS driver noticed my attempt and called Elaine to thank and compliment me. Science is not all that I am good at. I am also an excellent civil engineer and I have been known to have a big ego.


We have not washed our cars in a month. Elaine’s white car is now a reddish shade of brown. Our shoes have been like wearing ankle weights, but the silver lining is we appear to be two inches taller.


Yesterday, driving down the driveway I noticed the only remaining snow was about the size of a football. Science tells me it will be gone today. It might be gone already; I haven’t been outside yet. Someone has to write these stories and Elaine won’t let me outside until I do it.


I should mention, I placed the Your Daily Fiber storage units in a spot where mud and runoff are not a problem. A small feat of engineering. The is no chance of Elaine, Ivy, the twins or myself sending out muddy yarn. You should order some.


PS. I can’t let my guard down. It snowed Friday, but melted yesterday, except for that tiny spot. And the forecast is predicting snow everyday day this coming week. Ah, northern Colorado!


Bless you!


Our crazy lives!


Monner

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