Happy Holiday

It’s Labor Day Weekend. Another weekend I’ve come to dislike. I realize some of you like this holiday, and frankly, you might be the reason I don’t. Labor Day weekend signifies the last weekend holiday of the summer.

Just the thought of Labor Day drives all the amateurs to the mountains, where I happen to live.

They bring their trailers loaded with two, three or four, ATV’s, UTV's, and dirt bikes. They usually get permission (and sometimes they don’t) to park an RV trailer or set up a tent on a neighbor’s vacation property and bring havoc to our quiet mountain valley.

The amateurs (weekend mountaineers) break out the recreational vehicles and drive/ride at the highest speeds their weekend rides will travel. Right down the middle of our curvy, dirt roads. Doesn’t matter how old the mountaineers are from 5 to 95, their vehicles drive at top speed and you (construction language) had better watch out for them.

What’s really great, is the mountaineers that have headlights on their recreational vehicles. Headlights give the right to drive/ride at night. All night. I find myself hoping enough alcohol is consumed early enough it puts the mountaineers to sleep shortly after dark.

Guns. They always bring guns. Now, I don’t mind guns, and I might or might not have one or two, myself. However, I have not or will not bring them to anyone’s neighborhood to shoot them. Well, at least I would need a (construction language) good reason.

Maybe, I’m wrong but it seems to me, the mountaineers have really big guns. And the bigger the gun, the more ammo they bring.

I can only guess, but I think alcohol plays into the equation. It seems totally natural, loud and fast vehicles, guns and plenty of ammo, and coolers of beer; more than one cooler. A perfect end to the summer.

Yesterday, the first day of the long holiday weekend, Elaine and I took Ivy to breakfast in town and spent the rest of the day shopping. We do this for two reasons. First, we need stuff. (More about that later) Second, it’s best to let the mountaineers have the mountains, including the roads, and temporary gun ranges.

If I sound a little bitter, I’m not. I have no desire to have a head-on with a five-year-old on a dirt bike following a thirty-five-year-old on a bigger dirt bike. And I certainly don’t want to be shot by a ricocheting bullet that was aimed at a beer can.

Happy Labor Day.

OK, if you read this stuff, you probably know that Elaine and I celebrated our forty-fourth wedding anniversary last month. Two of our kids painted an announcement of that occasion for the world to see on a rock along the highway. Well, as we knew what would happen, someone painted over our announcement.

As disappointing as it is to see our announcement is gone, that’s not what bothers me. It is the quality of the new announcement. It’s terrible. The new paint used the words “Happy anniversary” that my kids had painted. They painted over “Monner and Elaine” and painted “T + N”. “44 years” was painted over and “21 years” was poorly painted. Someone should be ashamed.

I mentioned we went to town yesterday. Next weekend Elaine will be participating in the Salida Fiber Festival. Elaine has been working her fingers to the bone preparing for the show. We needed to get some last-minute stuff for some last-minute stuff at the big box sewing store. I know I’ve told you to buy local, but I don’t know of a local sewing store in town.

More important than sewing stuff, Elaine needed one of those new I-fruit tablet things. She uses it for internet orders, and a bunch of stuff I don’t understand.

We hope to see you in Salida. I might even be there myself. I asked Elaine if we could sell autographed photos of myself, but she said, “Who the (construction language) would want that?” Elaine doesn’t use a lot of (construction language), but when she does!

The following week is Wild West Knitting Retreat. Actually, it will be nice to see you there. Not me, I wasn’t invited.

Our crazy lives!

Monner