Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021

Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021 happened, well, sort of. Boy Twin followed the highly influential footsteps of his grandfather, (that would be me, Ol’ Monner) and stayed home. Actually, I didn’t consult him on my views of the pros and cons of the prom. He wouldn’t have listened anyway. He hasn’t taken any advice from me since the invention of the “smart” phone.


Me: You might want to consider…….. oy Twin: Well, I’ve Boogled that, and statistically you could be and are wrong. Me: Yes, but I have some personal experience here. Boy Twin: Monner, we don’t do that any longer. I could show you on Y-Tube how we do it now.


Anyway, it seems there was a little trouble in the relationship between Boy Twin and the (at least for now) love of his life. No prom for them, they’re just friends. Ol’ Monner, Grandma, and the entire rest of the civilized world might have seen it coming, but Boogle and Y-Tube didn’t have a clue.

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Girl Twin, however, was all in. She was a participant in Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021. Coincidentally, that meant the entire world including me, Monner, was a participant in the Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021. Before I go any further, I would like to take the time to thank Boy Twin for his decision to just be friends.


As many of you know, our family owns and operates Your Daily Fiber, an online yarn store. The significance of that is four of the five members of this family have learned to knit. We can all guess which member has decided to remain the “black sheep” and has decided to purchase all personal articles of clothing. I will give you one small hint. He/she types a story every Sunday without fail. He/she hopes you read said stories every Sunday. Sorry, my thoughts drifted slightly.


Anyone of the four knitters had the time to knit a backless, dress with spaghetti straps and plunging neckline, that exposes way too much teen-aged skin, with yarn sold by or more likely donated by Your Daily Fiber. But no, we needed to buy a pale green dress with spaghetti straps made from some slippery kind of material called satin. Elaine tells me the satin is knitted (not by any of the four) which allows the dress to be “clingy”.


Personally, I’m not sure “clingy” is good. I tried on a pair of yoga pants one time before going for a jog. I was told they cut wind resistance and create faster running times. I can’t really tell you if that works, but I can tell you it can cause automobile crashes. It's true, Boogle it. Where was I? Oh yeah.


Elaine participated by altering satin dresses, two of them. Grandma was asked to take in one dress, more about that later, and hem another satin dress.


Let’s start with the hemming first. Even Ivy participated by loaning with high heels. Sadly, Girl Twin’s dress was still too long. Had anyone of the four knitters actually knit the dress with yarn from Your Daily Fiber hemming would have been totally unnecessary. Instead, collectively the four knitters decided Elaine, “Grandma” would spend portions of a few days making the pale green dress shorter. Grandma used more “construction language” hemming the inner dress thing than the pale green part.


Now we can talk about the other dress. Girl Twin’s friends dress. I’m guessing it was also made from satin, with little diamonds attached to the satin. The problem with the dress was it was not “clingy” enough.

Grandma was more than happy making this dress “clingier” for Girl Twin’s friend. I would guess it is because due to beervirus and a couple of other reasons, this young lady has become another non-knitting family member.

Again, this probably could have been avoided by one of the four knitters creating the dress themselves. Those diamonds could have been a problem. I for one never learned to knit diamonds into satin.


You knew it had to happen. Now we must talk about Poudre High School Beervirus 2021 through the eyes of a crotchety old guy. Me! Monner!


Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021 had new rules. First, the dance was to be held outside in the school parking lot. Friends/dancers must remaining groups of ten or smaller. (I don’t exactly know what would happen if another person got too close and became the eleventh person in a group. I can only imagine they would be jailed or beervirus would take over the group send the other ten to the hospital.)


Ok, it is time to make this about me. I was informed by Grandma, well after the dresses were altered that we would need to attend a picture-taking session at a local rock quarry. It seems one of Girl Twin’s ten prom dancers thought rocks would be a beautiful background for prom pictures. I was told I would be required to take photos of Girl Twin, plus a few friends.


Somehow the photo location was mysteriously changed to another dancer’s house. Girl Twin said she didn’t know why and she didn’t care. “Just make sure you and Grandma are there at 5:00 PM!” If that sounds a little bossy to you, that is because it was.


Grandma and I arrived a little before 5:00. We were the only people there. Soon another mother and father arrived. Grandma and the mom talked about clingy dresses made clingier. The dad and I talked about manly stuff. (I know it is 2021, but men still talk about manly stuff. I have never said women can’t talk about manly stuff.) No dancers had arrived. Another dad arrived. More manly talking, this time about rattlesnakes, mothers join in. No dancers. Monner is getting crotchety.


At about 5:30 the dancers start to arrive as well as other parents. Lots of them, more than ten. If the cops would have shown up, well, I don’t want to think about that. The group moved into the garage. This was a big garage; social distancing was not a problem. I took a few pictures of Girl Twin and the Pipester in their altered dresses.



It wasn’t easy for Cowboy, Girl Twin’s personal dancer. Sadly, the kid thought it was necessary to purchase FIFTEEN green ties to match the pale green altered dress. Does anyone know if ties are returnable? Cowboy says he is keeping the knew square-toed boots and cowboy hat bought for Poudre High School Beervirus Prom 2021.





While taking a photo of the girls they noticed me and both laughed and held up one finger. That finger. To this day, if Mom were here, I wouldn’t show her that finger. I went home and Boogled it. Boogle says it's OK to do that today. Who knew?


I was just getting ready to leave (with or without Grandma as I have done before, 30th high school reunion) when the host came up to me. “How the heck are you?” I knew the guy. We had previously worked together.

Host: Which one is yours? Me: Girl Twi, pale green altered dress Host: You want a beer? Me: Sure


I’m not a beer guy. As a matter of fact, Girl Twin saw me with the can of beer and asked if I was alright.


Host: I have two kinds of beer, this one is hoppy. Which one do you want? Me: I guess I take this one. Host: That’s the one I want.


We laughed and talked about some more manly stuff.


More photos were taken. Social distancing was lost as the dancers started pinning flowers on each other.

I can’t begin to tell you my joy when I realized the crowd was thinning and I was going to get to go home. And then! Grandma said, “Cowboy’s parents want to meet you?” Why would ANYONE want to meet me? They can just read the stories on Sunday.


One good thing happened during all the manly talk. I received a job offer. Not for writing stories or selling yarn, but for building stuff. I wasn’t really looking for an offer but who knows?


Grandma wants me to say Girl Twin’s dress was not clingy. It flows.


I almost forgot to mention, none of the couples actually went to the parking lot dance. They decided collectively to head north, across state lines for dinner. Clingy and flowing. (construction language) beervirus.


Buy yarn! May all your clothing cling!


Our crazy lives!


Monner

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