She's Home

Ivy's home from Iceland. Life is back to normal for Elaine and I, as well as Ivy.

The time change between Iceland and Colorado is six hours. By the time Elaine and I would get up in the morning Ivy would have been up for hours. No more 6:30 AM phone calls for Elaine and I. No more texts at 2:30 AM. No more $10.00/day spent on phone calls.

Ivy went to Iceland in hopes of learning Icelandic knitting techniques, but she learned so much more. Important things, like the taste of fermented shark is washed away with cumin-infused vodka. Now I'm not the most traveled person on the planet, so who am I to tell an entire country they are doing it wrong, but clearly the vodka should be consumed before tasting fermented shark.

Ivy taste the shark but she did it wrong. She ordered the shark sampler which consisted of five one-inch by one-inch pieces of shark, before the vodka. Then sadly, she refused the vodka saying, "I only need to taste one gross disgusting thing today." I say sadly because, well, vodka is vodka, no matter how it is flavor induced.

I took the liberty of checking out fermented sharks on the internet. The internet used words like ammonia-smelling, urea, and buried in sandy soil, blindness, death if eaten before complete fermentation. Ammonia and urea, window cleaner and pee. Who thinks of this (construction language)? It's no wonder, the Vikings were angry killers, someone was peeing on their food. Incidentally, the internet quoted a famous chef saying, "It is the most horrible thing I have ever put in my mouth."

None of this information stopped Ivy, which I had discussed with her on the phone BEFORE she ordered her sample. She told me, "I'm in Iceland, I need to try it." It went OK on the first piece, she ate it. Her senses kicked in on the second piece. "Oh, hell no!"

I try to keep these stories clean and family oriented and educational. If you find yourself offended by the male anatomy skip a couple of paragraphs. Iceland has a penis museum. Really, Ivy went to it. On display, the museum has a blue whale penis. Who doesn't want to see that? The museum has factual information about things like, Doc Holiday carried a cane with a pig penis handle. Who knew?

I have no knowledge of how many different countries have penis museums, but I know Iceland has one. If you've been looking for one, there it is.

Feel free to read, again.

Ivy had a great time. She rode horses, tiny little Icelandic horses Ivy worked in at a dude ranch in Colorado a few years back. Although it was a few years ago, Ivy is still comfortable on a horse. So comfortable, in fact, she chose to tell the story of when she fell from a horse. Most enjoyed her story and laughed, except for the one lady who panicked and demanded to be taken off her horse. I guess she had never heard the old saying, "When you fall off the horse, you get back on." Once on the trail, Ivy guided the less experienced riders back to the barn.

In Iceland, you can snorkel between tectonic plates in a reservoir. Doesn't matter how cold the water, how narrow the channel is, or how terrifying, if you want to, you can do it. Ivy did it.

Whales? Iceland has them. Porpoises? Iceland has them. Ivy saw them.

Now I need to bring the story back to yarn and knitting. The purpose of the Iceland trip was to take an Icelandic knitting seminar with horseback riding, glacier hiking, whale watching, and fermented shark. She wasn't really impressed with the knitting, however, she was impressed with Icelandic yarn and rovings. She brought back a bunch of it.

Ivy brought back gifts for the family. I expected shark, but luckily it doesn't travel well. Elaine got rovings, I got vodka, infused vodka.

She would like to return again without the knitting and shark. I hope this story helps you decide if Iceland interests you. I might see you there someday. I doubt it, but you never know.

I apologize for being late today. I had to explain football rules to America's biggest football fan, Elaine. Man, I have a great life.

Our crazy lives!

Monner