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This is for the birds!

Memorial Day weekend is over. It was a rough one. The weather was horrible. It was rainy at the beginning of the weekend, windy at the end. Of course, the first day back to work, the weather was beautiful.

The twins, Ivy and I got home about 7:15. We had been in town all day. Ivy at the store, the twins spent the day with her. I was in town playing construction worker.

I restarted my construction career Tuesday. It doesn’t seem right calling it a construction job. I don’t use tools, except for a computer. I don’t get dirty. I spend most of the day watching people that wish it was the weekend. Anyway, Tuesday evening we get home, start chores. The kids took the dogs for a walk. I’m outside checking out the animals. Our neighbor stopped by to chat. He stays about a half hour. It was quite nice.

The kids were back in the house when I finished chatting. It was time to start dinner.

Me: what’s up? Kids: We’re just getting the bird out of the house! Me: What? Boy Twin: Yeah, we already got one out! We think they are mates! Me: How did they get in the house? Girl Twin: The dogs left the door open. Me: The dogs?

Ivy was tying a plastic Wally World bag to a stick. Boy Twin had a Nerf gun (Shoots sponge darts). They were using these “tools” to shoo the bird towards the still open door. Apparently, this worked for the first bird.

The second bird was either happy to be in our house or did not have the mental capacity to locate the open door and leave. It chose to fly to every window that was either fixed glass or had a screen that prevented any chance of escape.

Ivy handed me a stick. Ivy and I were swinging sticks, Boy Twin was shooting sponges at the bird, this bird was not leaving. Frankly, Ivy is a better knitter than stick swinger. She knocked stuff off her mother’s dresser with her stick. Only the big stuff. Apparently, the small stuff was harder to hit. The bird giggled (I’m guessing)and flew around Ivy’s head.

I decide we may need to try more drastic measures. I get the Air Soft pistol. The Air Soft pistol shoots large plastic BB’s. I’m hoping to stun the bird, and throw her outside. I shot at the bird, and just missed. The BB hit the window next to the bird. (No, it didn’t break) I was actually quite proud of my aim. The BB ricocheted off the glass. That was about the time I heard Ivy yell, “Ouch!”. I guess it hit her in the arm. No blood.

By now the bird is exhausted, sitting on a portrait of one of the kids. I walked up to her, she did not fly away. I grabbed a bath towel and covered the bird with it. The bird hung unto the towel, together we walked outside. Once outside, the bird flew to its mate.

Moral: If you want to get a bird out of the house, shoot Ivy in the arm.

Our crazy lives!


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