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Christmas and a Catapult

Well, this is Christmas. The twins were up at 7:00 AM to open gifts. It was the first time that they have been up before noon on a non-school day since last Christmas. But who pays attention to that!

I like Christmas. I think most people are in better moods and tend to be a little nicer. Except for the people driving around town. There is nothing nice about them.

Some people even mistake me for one of the main characters of the Christmas season. No…. I don’t look like the Baby Jesus. I look like the second most likable Christmas character. When I wear my red jacket it actually confuses people who think I might be the real guy.

I was talking to the cashier at my favorite liquor store. I like this store because it is owned by the brother of a guy I went to high school with, and they have the cheapest prices on Elaine’s wine in town. Believe me, I’ve checked. The cashier was a guy from high school.

While I was chatting with the cashier a guy in line yelled, “HEY, what are you doing here?” The store went quiet. I made eye contact with him and saw he was talking to me. When he saw he had my attention he said, “Aren’t you supposed to be flying around in a sleigh someplace?” The store got quieter. I told the guy, “The sleigh has a flat, I’m just taking a break.” The guy and several others in the store laughed. The lines at the cashiers started moving again.

A woman outside the grocery store walked by me and said, “Ho, ho, ho!” We high-fived as we walked by each other.

Anyway, brunch is over, the gifts have been exchanged. Everyone is watching movies and relaxing, except me. Someone has to write these stories.

I think everyone is happy with their gifts. I was a little concerned about Boy Twin. He had placed a list of potential Christmas gifts that he wanted on the fridge. There wasn’t a gift that didn’t have two zeros BEFORE the decimal point for the cost of the gift. Ah, that teenage entitlement. Sadly, (for him) it doesn’t work in this Santa’s house.

OK, I have another Boy Twin Story to tell, but before I do I need to wish you a Merry Christmas from our family and the store to you and yours. I hope you find some more happiness in this holiday season. Let’s make 2017 happy, healthy and safe.


In my construction life, I have allowed and encouraged both batches of my kids to go to work with me. I believe it teaches kids skills that are beneficial in later life. All of my kids can operate tractors and work with power tools.

Before Ivy was a world class knitter she was a world class carpenter. If it hadn’t been for that 300 pound beam I set on her thumb one day, she might still be working with me. (Hey, it wasn’t anything I wanted to do, the beam was just heavy.) Let’s not talk about that anymore, Ivy might start yelling at me again.

Boy Twin understand construction and seems to like it. This past summer he built a tree house and a coyote trap from wood I had laying around. You know, wood that I had saved for a project, but he needed the wood for a coyote trap before I could start my project. Ask yourself, what kid doesn’t need a coyote trap in the front yard?

Anyway, when Boy Twin arrived in middle school two years ago he was thrilled to find that one of the class assignments was to build a working catapult.

The assignment was to work with a small group of kids and build a catapult that would shoot a projectile. The kids whose projectile that went the farthest would win a small prize. Boy Twin declared himself the leader of his group used his construction skills and went on to win the prize.

His second year of middle school produced the same results.

Boy Twin just completed his third and final year of the catapult contest. Kids were requesting being on his team. Yes, he won this year also. He tells me his projectile doubled the winners in other schools. I think it might be going to his head.

Boy Twin: My catapult shot twice as far as the winner from Lesher. Me: That’s fantastic. Boy Twin: I won a prize. Me: Cool, what did you get? Boy Twin: A pie! A really big pie! It was as big as the steering wheel on the truck. Me: That’s a big pie. Boy Twin: Yeah, I ate as much as I could, then I let the other kids have some. Me: Well Merry Christmas Boy Twin, Merry Christmas. Boy Twin: Yeah, thanks.

Our crazy lives!


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