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Smart Phone Dating

I did something last Sunday I haven't done in a long time. I took the day off from writing a yarn store story. Oh, I had plenty to write about, I just didn't see that I had enough time to actually write a story with everything else I had to do. I could have told the story about Boy Twin losing his smart phone in May of 2016. Yes, that story is still relevant today. I can tell you what makes it still relevant, there's a new chapter to the story.

Losing the phone last year cost Boy Twin a girlfriend. Not a girl friend, but an actual girlfriend. Now I should take the time to explain what I have found out what a girlfriend is to a thirteen year-old Boy Twin. A girlfriend is first, a girl, who Boy Twin happens to think is kind of special to him. By special, he means nicer to him than his sister is. But most important to Boy Twin, she must also have a "smart" phone.

Elaine and I have watched closely, what it means for a couple thirteen year-old children to say they're dating. I think two "smart" phones are all that's needed for a couple of teenagers to be "involved".

OK, I realize this is supposed to be a yarn store blog. (Hey, that made me think of something. When I started writing these stories, back in the day, I didn't even know what a blog was. Now I have one. Sorry, I think I had a squirrel moment.)

We (Ivy and Elaine) offer classes at Your Daily Fiber and once again I have been left out. So, I have decided to teach a class myself. I will be teaching a class in thirteen year-old dating using only a smart phone.

Before we get started, I need to lay out a couple things, just to show how I am more than capable to teach this class.

First, anyone only thirteen should not be dating. Nothing good can come from children dating. However, "smart" phone dating is acceptable.

Last year, Girl Twin came home with the news that Boy Twin and "Southern Belle" were dating. I was pretty sure they couldn't possibly be dating because neither Boy Twin or Belle were old enough to drive. Neither Elaine or I had taken Boy Twin to meet Belle to a movie or anythiing like that. Boy Twin and Bell live forty- five miles away from each other. How could they be dating? This is something that you can take from the class. Insist your thirteen year-old "date" only children who live at least forty-five miles away. Girl Twin explained dating meant communicatiing with their "smart" phones. Not talking on the phone, texting. And not just texting, they send photos and somethiing called memes. (Not naked photos, yes, I checked. and so should you.) Are you enjoying the class so far?

Things went well for Boy Twin and Belle dating on the "smart" phones the entire 7th grade school year. And then tragedy struck, Boy Twin lost his smart phone. Boy Twin and his friend Luis were building a tree house in our pasture and the "smart" phone was dropped somewhere during construction. (Yes, when I heard about the lost phone, I used some construction language. Boy Twin didn't use construction language. He didn't think he needed to use construction language, he thought he was getting a new phone. Another squirrel moment.)

Boy Twin lost his ability to date Belle. He didn't get a new "smart" phone. He got a hand-me-down phone from his grandmother. Now, I'm not sure if this is funny or not, but when Boy Twin lost his phone he lost his contact list, including Belle's contact info. He didn't know her phone number!

By the time he found her phone number again Ol' Belle had moved on. Remember there was forty-five miles between them and no contact list. He didn't know the phone number of any of his friends. Yes, we probably could have done more to help him, but he didn't seem all that torn up.

So here is the most important lesson of the class. If your thirteen year-old is "smart" phone dating and you would like to slow them down, throw their phone away. Who would have thought no phone equals no dating. That's great isn't it!

Anyway, that was last year and Boy Twin has a new phone and a new girlfriend. Life should be good again. Except.......when Boy Twin and Luis were building the tree house, they were borrowing my tools. Almost one year to the day after losing his phone, I found the phone. It was in the bottom of a toolbox.

Boy Twin asked if he could have the phone back. That's when I had to give a lecture on polygamy. To stop this from happening to you make sure the phone is never found.

That is the end of the class. Ivy has insisted that I stop with the "smart" phone class and start a yarn dyeing class. I tried to tell her there might be a need for that someday but children dating needs to be addressed today.

Our crazy lives!


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