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Hip and Neck Surgery and Oh yeah, Einstein

It was a tough week for Ol’ Monner. I had a couple friends have surgery this past week. One had his third hip replacement and the other had vertebrae fused in his neck.

I know you’re thinking, third hip replacement, did this guy have three legs? Nope, it seems those late night television commercials that advertise class action lawsuits for bad hip replacements parts are true. If you are involved in one of those lawsuits, you get a new hip and some money to boot. My buddy says it’s not worth it.

My other friend started losing feeling in his hands. He said his hands were numb for several months. He made the mistake of mentioning it to his wife. As wives will do, she made an appointment at the doctor for him. The next thing he knew he was laying on a hospital bed made by the same company that made my other buddy’s hip. (Sheez, I hope it goes better for this guy.)

So far, none of this story has much to do with me. I just made a couple phone calls to see how my friends were feeling. I listened to a story of how neck surgery is done. It's done from the front of the neck. I listened to how the doctor moves all the stuff in your neck in front of the spine. When I started getting a little queasy, I told my friend, “Oh (construction language) I’ve got another call, I need to go!” I’m pretty sure he doesn’t read this, so I don’t think he will ever know I was fibbing.

My other friend told me that every time he was pain free, a physical therapist would come in and make him walk or would move his leg around until he was in pain again. I hung up on him also, but this time I really did have a call.

Now is time to talk about the part of the week that actually involves me and made it a tough week. I learned from the twins that I have wasted a part of my brain. Yep, totally wasted.

The twins’ class schedule at the high school is quite confusing. They have Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes, they have Tuesday-Thursday classes. They have late start Wednesday classes. (Before I go any further, I need to comment about late start Wednesday. I guess teachers need an hour a week to discuss and plan with the other teachers. This is foreign to me, although I would have enjoyed it in my school years. Poor Mrs. Tavner, Muller, Mummert, Fonken, Green and Zollner didn’t get an extra hour of free time every week, and I for one am (construction language) off about it. Oh sorry, I might have drifted off a little bit.)

Anyway, it really gets confusing when there is a holiday in a particular week. If the holiday is on a Monday, late start moves to Thursday. If the holiday is any other day but Monday, late start stays on Wednesday. Which brings me to another thought. If you have an entire day off why would you need another hour for whatever you could have done on the holiday. (Sheez, I’m sorry, not even I can even follow my thoughts on that one.)

On the way to school, I heard Boy Twin, ask Girl Twin what class he needed to go to first.

Boy Twin: Where do I go? Girl Twin: I think science. Me: You are in the second semester, how could you not know what class to go to? Boy Twin: I’ve never learned my schedule. I just ask Girl Twin. Me: What do you do after your first class and Girl Twin isn’t there to help you? Boy Twin: I just ask my classmates. Me: Why wouldn’t you just learn your schedule? Boy Twin: I’m saving space in my brain for important things. Albert Einstein wore the same color clothes every day so he wouldn't need to think about what color to wear. That’s what I’m doing. Girl Twin: He’s right! Me: You’re not Einstein. Boy Twin: Not yet!

When I got home, I made sure we didn’t have any laundry pods in our house. We were OK there, no pods. I hid the dishwasher pods. I’m not sure if I was more alarmed at his reasoning, or that Girl Twin agreed with him.

Now I’m thinking about where I can save space in my brain. You guys might want to do the same.

Our crazy lives!


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