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Summer, Newspapers and Wet TVs

One day last week, I was taking the twins to school, when the one in the back seat said, “We only have a little more than a week of school!” Then the other twin said, “We will soon have almost three months off!” I started thinking, “Just wait, you little (construction language), just wait. You’ll get yours soon enough.”

You see, we mess kids up in their formative lives by giving them summers off. It happened to me. It doesn’t matter if the child finishes their school in the 8th grade, (like Abraham Lincoln) after high school, after college (like my ex-brother-in law, that finished when he was forty –two), it doesn’t matter, someday kids become adults and will no longer get summers off.

It took me twenty years to get over it. I was in my thirties, and even in my forties, looking at the calendar thinking, only another month and I will get summer vacation. Then reality slapped me in the face, “Oh, (construction language), that’s only for kids.

I didn’t want to break the twins’ bubble and tell them the truth. I just said, “Oh yeah, that’s nice. You guys are really lucky.” I was giggling under my breath.

I have another childhood habit, I can’t seem to break. As a child, I delivered the local newspaper. I can’t seem to quit. I was delivering newspapers last night.

Elaine thought I was asleep next to her in bed. Little did she know, I was on my bicycle riding up and down the streets of my paper route throwing newspapers on porches. (I had one mishap, only one, throwing newspapers all these years. Someone bought a house with a glass door on their porch. Looking back, I have come to terms with this mishap. I didn’t put that glass door there, I just threw the newspaper. Mrs. Crawford wasn’t upset, she didn’t even make me pay for the glass. Gurney wasn’t upset. Hmmm, Gurney Crawford. Isn’t that the name of the guy who brought the Canadian Geese to Northern Colorado? Yep, it is. I loved that guy. I wish I could hear his stories again.) How in the (construction language) did I get that far off topic? I think I need to get checked out..

As I was delivering newspapers last night, I had two papers left on my bike when I finished my route. I was retracing my route to try to determine whom didn't get their paper. Unfortunately, Maggie, our Great Pyrenees, scratched on the side of the bed. Now, I will never find out who didn’t get their paper. I’m sorry if it was you.

Boy Twin had a sleepover last night. At our house! Boy Twin invited a kid from his baseball team over, and I let it happen. Why did I do that? My parents would have never let that happen.

By 9:00 o’clock our/my house was rockin’ hip-hop from the basement. LOUD! We never have loud hip-hop in our basement. I don’t even like hip-hop. I’m not even sure it was hip-hop, it could have been something worse.

The boys were playing some army video game. Every time something good happened on the game they cheered, LOUDLY. Who cheers at a video game? They were laughing like a couple Sean Penns in that stupid high school movie. OK, I know I can’t say that. However, no other word can explain what they sounded like or how to describe that movie. I will reprimand myself later.

I turned on every fan in the house. Not for the, oh, you know why. I started on my paper route. When Maggie arrived this morning, the boys were in the camping trailer. So was the big screen (not too big) TV. The boys carried the TV outside, in the rain.

I thought of my parents. I asked, “Where did it all go wrong?”

Our crazy lives!


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