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A White Pill and Beervirus Graduation Day

I have so many things to talk about today. You might want to get some coffee; this might take a while. If coffee doesn’t happen to be your cup of tea, (get it) well, I can’t help you.

I am going to start today with a Public Service Announcement. I experiment with life so I can share the results with you. You can then use my experience to shape your own lives.

Never take yourself off meds prescribed by your medical advisor. There I said it.

My story starts twenty-some years ago. After experiencing unusual headaches that I related to taking myself off the recently boycotted soft drink. Yes, I have boycotted that drink for years and I didn’t need a political reason. That stuff is bad for you. Being addicted to the soft drink for years, quitting the stuff wasn’t easy.

It turns out the boycotting of the soft drink wasn’t the cause of my headaches at all. It was something else. A quick trip to Ol’ Dr. M’s office it was determined I needed the help of a tiny white pill. It took several visits to Dr. M’s office; which allowed me to send three of his children to college. I have taken this tiny white pill for somewhere around twenty years; until this past week. I didn’t just quit, I just ran out of my little white friend. Can I say that? I wonder why most pills are white. I don’t think that is at all fair. I think I just lost some readers.

My pharmacy, Three Letters Pharmacy, has notified me for the last twenty years when it was time to pick up another bottle. Something happened! I looked into the bottle of pills to find absolutely no pills. I have a full life, I forgot to call Three Letters Pharmacy. After remembering to make that call, I was told Three Letters was booked and I was asked if I could wait. I remember the headaches from years gone by. They weren’t that bad. “Sure, I can wait.” Turns out that was a bad idea.

Sitting at the dinner table on one night this past week my step-counting watch informed me something was amiss. Not one to panic, I did what every Volga-German would do. I asked to try on Ivy’s step-counting watch. Both watches told me something was amiss.

At midnight I suggested to the family I wanted to go to the hospital. After some family drama, I was driven to the hospital. Please keep in mind, I have no issues except for what those watches are telling me.

At the hospital, having wires attached to my wires, things were going great until one of the nurses asked, “Do you ever want to commit suicide, hurt yourself or others?” Apparently, “Doesn’t everybody?” wasn’t the answer they were looking for.

After the dust settled from that one, we started talking about my little white pill and why I wasn’t taking it. They gave me one of my little white pills. My step-counting watch was getting happy. All those wires told the nurses and doctors I was normal. (Well, they really can’t attest how normal I really am.) Blood tests were also normal. I drove home. This was really a good thing because Boy and Girl Twin were graduating from high school at 9:00 Am the next day.

Public Service Announcement: If your medical advisor gives you a white pill, take it.

Graduation! The twins have graduated from high school.

Sadly, the beervirus took its toll on the ceremony. Each graduating senior was limited to a specific number of guests that were allowed to attend. Parking was limited, so guests were asked to ride together. Parking attendants must not have received the memo and they were parking cars with no rhyme or reason. Our attendant instructed me, “Park down there. The attendant will tell you to, ah (construction language), Come back here, just park right here.”

Attending the ceremony brought me back to my own ceremony so many years ago. I am quite aware some of you are just as amazed that I graduated from high school as my mother was so many years ago.

The outdoor ceremony allowed for beervirus social distancing. As legal beervirus attendees, Elaine, Ivy, and I found our assigned seats which hmade it easy to spot Boy Twin. After, what seemed like a huge period of time Ivy spotted Girl Twin a half a football field from her brother. Alphabetical order is no longer taught in the high school curriculum. Using Boogle is much easier for the graduates.

Some of the students covered their robes in the flags of other nations. I’m sure that we wouldn’t have been allowed to do that. I’m not sure there is a Volga-German flag, but I am sure my mother wouldn’t have let me wear one.

One glaring difference is the twin’s graduation and mine was the senior picked the member of the school administration that helped them the most in their high school years. I was handed my diploma by the principal that I had never talked to in my life. That surprises you doesn’t it.

Boy Twin picked his counselor. When I asked him why he picked her he told me, “She’s really hot!” When asked by the administration why the counselor was his choice, he wrote, “Have you seen her?” As his parents, we worry about that kid. Girl Twin took a more traditional path, choosing a teacher she liked. Ironically, this teacher played Little League baseball with the twin’s dad.


Neither twin sent graduation announcements. They didn’t see the importance of others knowing they were graduating. Weird kids. I told you they make their own decisions.

After the ceremony, Elaine, Ivy, and I took a bunch of kids to lunch. Selfishly, it made me feel great, some kids had the chance to be with their parents but chose to go with us. Love you guys.

Graduation parties started soon after the ceremony. Our kids and friends went to play softball. Don’t worry, they hit the parties the next day. I asked them to take some time to do some graduation day knitting. OK, I didn’t ask them that but, Ivy and Elaine tell me I need to add yarn into every story. There you go.

A chapter of my life is closed. I’m guessing it changes but keeps going from here. Elaine and I had a cocktail with a friend yesterday. I mentioned I wasn’t sure anyone reads this crap. I guess it goes on.

Our crazy lives!



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