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It's Over

Christmas was different in 2023. I have one thing that I am responsible for during the Christmas season (Actually two if you include exterior lights) and I blew it. For the last decade or so, I have stuffed the Christmas stockings for Santa Claus. I shop, wrap, and stuff gifts from myself in the stockings. For the last several years I have put the same thing in the girl Sipes' stockings. ((Can I say girl Sipes'?) (Why, yes I can!) The gift? Pepper spray and rape whistles zipper pulls. I would have preferred to pass out ammunition, but Girl Twin was too young, Elaine refused to carry and Ivy could buy her own. What? It is a perfect Christmas gift from a loving husband, father, and grandfather. (The boys get knives.)


At some point during this past year, I found Elaine's pepper spray still in its package in a drawer. It is no good if you are not going to carry it. I didn't buy it this year. The story doesn't end there. The girls noticed there was no pepper spray in their stockings I went with flashlights and pocket screwdrivers, this year,


Ivy: Monner, where is our pepper spray?

Girl Twin: And the rape whistles?

Me: I didn't them this year

Ivy: It's not a Sipes family hillbilly Christmas without them

Me: I guess I should have got pepper spray


Despite a lack of pepper spray, it was a nice Christmas. Food, family, and for Elaine, football


This is the last day of 2023, and I am glad to see it go. I lost a brother, a nephew, and our last llama. I had another birthday. The last of our kids moved out. Elaine finished her thirty-fourth year drawing/designing powerlines and power poles just in time for a major EV manufacturer to recall two million cars. (I don't know why that's important to this story.)


I'm hoping for a better 2024. Elaine and I have decided to research buying more livestock. I read somewhere that's what people do after they reach their "golden" years. They buy a bunch of animals to tie them down, with back-breaking chores so they can't watch old westerns or twenty-four-hour news on satellite television while their wife is expanding the electric grid. Bitter?


I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year. I hope to find some affordable yaks, Mac needs a couple of friends and I need (according to Elaine) something to feed. Buy yarn, and conserve electricity, (Elaine needs a break) Love ya, God bless.


Our crazy lives!


Monner


7 Comments


Herbert Matson
Herbert Matson
Nov 25, 2024

It sounds like your family Christmas traditions are uniquely heartfelt and full of personality—pepper spray and rape whistles might not make the usual holiday gift guides, but they sure make for a memorable "hillbilly Christmas!" Even with the switch to flashlights and pocket screwdrivers, it’s clear you’ve created something special with your thoughtful stocking stuffers.

On another note, as you look forward to a better 2024 with new ventures like livestock, it’s inspiring to see the adaptability and humor in your reflections. Whether it’s managing the holidays or embarking on new projects, it’s the small, intentional steps that keep everything moving forward—kind of like partnering with the right experts to bring a vision to life. For instance, if you're ever…

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Feb 07, 2024

Christmas in 2023 was unlike any other, prompting many to seek assistance with write my assignment for me to navigate the unique experiences for academic tasks

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