Three Questions
Looking back to when Your Daily Fiber was a brick-and-store we were asked many questions. I think the most common question asked, "Is a stockinette stitch appropriate for this sweater?" A simple yes/no question.
The second most asked question was obviously, "Do llamas spit?" The answer to this question is a little more complicated. You see, llamas do spit and they will spit. Llamas spit on things they don't like. If you have been spit on by a llama it should be obvious to you the llama doesn't like you.
The third most asked question may surprise you. "Do bears p**p in the forest?" I know, I was surprised, too. I have never been able to provide a fact-based answer. I have only been able to assume, until now.
To answer this question I need to first explain the difference between city folk and country folk. City folk like street lights, country folk like their streets dark. This applies to their yards also. City folk put lights on their houses to "dress" up their exteriors and impress the neighbors. Country folk use lighting because it's dark and something out there is not quite right. For instance, if there is a light on John and Joan's house past dark, they're not home. If that light is on for two nights in a row, they are out of the state. If lights are on in the house over the hill past dark, it means the owners are in town. If the owners haven't told you they are in town, someone needs to check on the house. We like things dark, lights tell us something is bad.
Before I go to bed for the night, I like to look out the window. One night last week, I was doing just that. Strangely the neighbor's lights were on. In addition to that, someone was using a giant flashlight searching the hillside around their house. I'm no genius, (yes, I am) but I was guessing something was wrong. I informed Elaine of the lights and watched for awhile. The lights went out. I went to bed.
That very night every motion sensor light simultaneously lit up our yard. I jumped out of bed to look around. Now you should probably realize that a tumbleweed blowing by will turn a motion sensor light, but not all of lights at once. Usually, it means Mac the Yak has got out and is in the yard. Mac wasn't in the yard. The lights went out, I went back to bed.
In the morning, things looked normal. (My neighbor has out the heavy artillery this morning while I type. For those of you new to Mumblings, my neighbor brings out his guns on Sunday mornings and wastes a lot of ammo.) Ok, things looked normal, except for one small (not so small) thing. I found p**p in our driveway. I was certain I did not put it there. I was also certain that San Francisco is far from here so that would eliminate that possibility. Lizzie hadn't been outside, she didn't do it.
I'm not a p**p expert, but I know who is. I photogragh the p**p and sent the photo to a hunter friend of mine. He told me the photo wasn't very good, which I take offence too. I think my p**p photos are as good as anyones. That said he told me the p**p was most likely a coyote or a large raccoon. Seemed logical. I rested easy and stopped thinking about the p**p.
Friday night Elaine and I were returning from a trip to town. It was well past dark. Rounding a curve my headlights illuminated the road. Running down the middle of the road was a "small" black bear. My mind raced. It was so cool to see a bear so close to our home. Plus, I am finally able to answer the store's third most asked question with facts. Bears do NOT p**p in the forest, they p**p in driveways! I hope this clears it up for you.
God Bless, buy yarn.
Our crazy lives!
Monner
