Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was this past week. I hope you enjoyed your "holiday" with someone special. Elaine and I don't exchange Valentine's Day gifts, but this year we made an exception. I was sent on a trip, a guilt trip. Our dishwasher gave up the ghost. Because Elaine has continued working while I am retired she ordered and paid for a new dishwasher. (That's the guilt trip part.) You can decide for yourself if the dishwasher would be an appropriate Valentine's Day gift and then if it is appropriate to ask your significant other to install it. Well, I with the help of Boy Twin, removed the old dishwasher and installed the new one. Needless to say, she is no longer washing dishes by hand and I won't be required to dry them and put them away.

Truth be known, Elaine does not like Valentine's Day and rarely participates. Her distaste for the day goes way back. Back in the day (You know, I hate that saying and swore I would never use it.) A few years ago, Elaine was working for an engineering firm where the men greatly outnumbered the women, Elaine shared the second floor of their building with a half dozen guys and two women.

One particular day (Valentine's Day) Elaine came home from work disgusted. She had heard her two female counterparts telephoning their significant love interests to order them to have flowers delivered to the office so others could see them. The two counterparts were competing.

We weren't Valentine's Day people anyway, but Elaine was so disgusted by their actions and reactions that some thirty years later, she bought a Valentine's Day Dishwasher and asked me to install it. I was very careful to say she asked me and not ordered me, but we all know what happened.

If you don't mind one more Valentine's Day story.

I'm sharing a story about Valentine's Day from (not back in the day) more than a few years ago. The story has everything that one would expect from a Valentine's Day story. It has a husband and a wife, twelve red roses, red stiletto high heels, a red satin outfit (sort of) with matching red faux fur, and a fast-food taco restaurant.

To keep you from needing to guess, I can tell you the husband was me, which makes the wife, Elaine. Now, it's time to tell the Valentine's Day story that will never be forgotten.

As I have written many times I spent the early part of our marriage (Elaine's and mine) working in the construction industry. I spent the early part of my career commuting to jobs that weren't necessarily close to my home. With that in mind, it should be obvious that our home life suffered. I was out of town for holidays, birthdays, kids' soccer games, and other significant events and days.

Early in our marriage Elaine and I agreed that we were in love and didn't need one specific day of the year to express it. Elaine has led me to believe she is not a fan of cut flowers, especially red roses. If she was being disingenuous I can't say but she has never seemed upset when she didn't get them. We do have a Valentine's Day tradition, but that's a secret.

I was working on a job out of town. My crew and I were building a restaurant, a fast-food taco restaurant. If I remember correctly it had a bell. For most of my career, I have always been the guy who reads the blueprint and answers all the questions.

One particular day, which happened to be Valentine's Day, I was discussing the building with one of the workers when I noticed something unusual in the parking lot. I immediately got a queasy feeling in my stomach. I had bad feelings about what I was seeing.

There was a girl/woman/lady walking across the parking lot. The DIRT parking lot. I don't usually get queasy seeing women in the parking lot. That was not very unusual. We've had women on construction projects before. It was what she was wearing. She was having difficulty walking, which might have been why I noticed her in the first place. I can only guess, but I assume bright red four-inch stiletto heels make it hard to walk on dirt parking lots.

I watched as she removed her coat and laid it in the dirt. Under that coat, she was wearing a very shiny bright red dress/outfit. I guess it was a dress/outfit, but actually, it would have been only a very small part of a dress. The dress material matched her shoe material. The top of the dress was lined with red faux fur. I'm not sure it would be fair to call it the top of the dress, because it didn't go to the top. There was red faux fur on the bottom of the dress also, but as on top, there was not much of the bottom. She was carrying red roses. She continued "walking" towards me. She looked semi-naked and cold.

By now, I'm not the only one watching. She walked up and said, "I'm looking for Dar#%&l" For those of you who don't know I had a name before I was Monner.

Red Dress girl: I'm looking for Dar#%&l

Me: Let me see if I can find him

I have a worker/friend who worked on every job that I was on for twenty-five (+,-) years. Carl.

Me: Carl, this young lady is looking for you

Red Dress: Excuse me, I'm looking for Dar#%&l

Me: It's the same guy, I just call him Carl

She handed a confused Carl twelve red roses and sang a Valentine's Day song. I politely walked away letting Carl enjoy the Valentine's gift I had for him.

I arrived home that night without the roses.

Elaine: Did you get the roses?

Me: Yes, but I gave them to Carl to give to his wife. Let's not do that again.

We haven't and are still together.

Love ya, God Bless, Buy yarn

Our crazy lives!

Monner/Dar#%&l