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Fasting and a New Career

Well, I’ve decided if I was going to write stories every week I would write about my new unintentional career. We can get to that in a minute, but first I think most of you are looking for an update.

After fasting Monday night including no fluids, in preparation for a Tuesday morning procedure, Elaine and I arrived at the outpatient portion of the hospital at 7:15 AM. (Get up, shower, drive one hour to the hospital, you do the math) Arriving at the hospital it was apparent something didn’t “smell” right. I was getting the runaround. (Not my favorite Blues Traveler song) I was getting the runaround where no one seems to know where I needed to be, and no one wanted to check me in.

Finally, a nurse in scrubs complete with a mask took over and pushed my wheelchair in a room with a hospital-type bed and a few comfortable chairs. I was thankful for the wheelchair because by now I have been all over the hospital.

The nurse gave Elaine a chair. The nurse was looking at the computer and said it looks like you are here for a consult with Dr. ______. The nurse mentioned something was unusual because the doctor seldom comes in this early.

Me: No, I'm here for a procedure by Dr. ______ Nurse: Dr. ______ has no procedures scheduled for this morning (Looking deeper into the computer) Nurse: No, you are right, you are here for a procedure with Dr. _______, but it will not happen today.

The doctor walked in.

Dr.: I see we have a misunderstanding. Me: WE don’t have a misunderstanding; I have been fasting and have nothing to drink per hospital orders. Dr.: We need to get this consult over so you can go get some coffee.

Have you ever been angry and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it? That was me. Totally under the control of someone else.

Anyway, the Doctor explained what was needed to be done. He assured me he has done it “many” times before. He would set up the procedure for some time in the next week or two and things should be OK. I really don’t have a choice.

Turns out he schedule the procedure for more than two weeks from the consult. I have no control. I sit and click the days off the calendar. It’s an awful lot like the movie Groundhog Day.

All that said, I have an obligation to Mumblings readers and my family. I have kept my mind sharp by dreaming. I have been dreaming about a new career. I have decided to become a sumo wrestler.

I seriously doubt anyone could knock me off my feet, considering the size of my elephant legs.

I might need some help from one or two readers. Elaine wants nothing to do with this sumo thing and won’t buy me one or two of those diaper things Sumos wear. If you guys have an extra, I’ll take it. Please wash it before sending it over.

Feel free to buy yarn. God Bless you guys!

Our crazy lives!



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