Freegrazer

Sometimes it’s not easy being Monner. I know some of you are wishing you could have my life. Who wouldn’t want to be a newly arrived senior citizen with eleven llamas leaping, four dogs barking, three alpacas grazing, three yaks escaping, two twins fighting and a magpie in the trash. (I think I just wrote a Christmas carol) What, no one is going to raise their hand? I have not replaced my truck that was involved in the traffic accident a couple weeks ago. That leaves us with one vehicle for the five of us. It was a late night in the store. When we arrived home, Elaine, my loving wife, said the words I knew were going to ruin the rest of my evening. Elaine: I don’t see Cheese Me: Oh (maybe if I ignore her she won’t say it again) Elaine: Do you see Cheese? I don’t see Cheese Me: (it didn’t work) Let’s go find him Girl Twin found Cheese grazing in the neighbors pasture. If this were 1880, my neighbor would need to shoot me for allowing my yak to freegraze on his land. Or he could hire a gunfighter or the bad sheriff to burn us out. But this is 2011, so our neighbor left a message on our machine telling us Cheese got out and was over there. Recently, Cheese has become an expert in finding holes in the fence. If he can’t find one he makes one. Once he gets out he will come back for a bucket of corn. I think he has made this his new plan to entertain himself. To get Cheese back in our pasture means I would need him to follow me with a bucket of corn for about a half mile to bring him back where I could use a gate. Walking in front of a yak while you are carrying a bucket of corn is a great way to see your doctor. I ride an ATV and stay a couple feet in front of the yak. The yak will follow you. I get the bucket of corn and head to the ATV. The ATV has a flat tire. This night is just getting better. I loaned the ATV to a friend for a week and now I have a flat tire The tire is repaired. The yak is back in our corral. The sun has been down for an hour. “Hey Monner, what do you want for dinner?”. I lost interest in dinner a couple hours ago. Me: I think I’ll have a glass of milk and watch a little TV Elaine: That’s great. I recorded “Project Runway”! This night just keeps getting better. Our crazy lives! Monner