Moving Day

I promised to tell you the story of moving our store to its new location. Before I get into that I probably should mention a couple things that might clear up any confusion that you might have about the people involved.

I realize there are professional movers. Keeping with my German-Russian heritage, I chose not to use them. German-Russians would never pay anyone to do something for them that they could do themselves. I’m not sure those words were actually said to me as a child or if somehow I made them up myself.

I am sure that I’ve never hired anyone to help me mow my lawn, remodel my house or move my store. Come to think of it my parents didn’t either.

My parents were both 100% German-Russian. Their parents; my grandparents were born in Russia. German-Russians had big families to do the work they didn’t want to pay to get done. (I have four brothers.) As a child I heard things like, “One of you kids get out there and mow the lawn.” One of us would mow the lawn. We didn’t even realize we could pay someone to mow.

Anyway, there are a couple problems with me trying adhere to my rule of “don’t pay anyone for something I can do myself”. First, I didn’t marry a German-Russian and second, I don’t have a bunch of kids. (OK, I have two batches of kids, but that does not equal one bunch,)

With that frame of mind, when my two dear friends (Yes, I have two friends) offered to help move, I thought OK, lets go! One friend I have had since Kindergarten (No, I’m not kidding.) The other, of course is the Quarterback.

Mr. Kindergarten is recovering from his second hip replacement surgery. It made perfect sense for him to help move. Should anything go wrong, the old store was right next to a fire station. We could have had an EMT in seconds. OK, I’m being sarcastic, but I could not convince Mr. Kindergarten this may not be a good idea.

The Quarterback had an idea. He would tell Mr. Kindergarten we would start moving one day and actually start the day before. I didn’t know this was the plan. Quarterbacks are good at disguising plays.

The quarterback and I devised a plan. (I thought it included Mr. Kindergarten.) We were going to move all of the displays to the new location, set them up and go back and get the yarn and stuff. We/Elaine and Ivy had recruited some of their friends to help with packing and unpacking. (I guess they are my friends also, but are we ever sure?)

The Quarterback and I started putting displays on the trailer. I asked, “Hey, where is Mr. Kindergarten?” We finished loading displays. I realized the plan had changed when we started loading bags of yarn.

I mentioned to the Quarterback, “if we don’t set up the displays, the new location will be chaos.” He replied, “Yeah you are right. Let’s put this yarn on the trailer.” He just kept putting more stuff on the trailer. He was in a zone. We weren’t stopping him now. He had the ball and was headed for the end zone.

I have a bit of a temper. To the best of my knowledge it is my one character flaw. (OK, I don’t need a bunch of comments listing other character flaws) But, I have worked with the Quarterback before. I couldn’t get mad. Sometimes the Quarterback takes three steps forward and then two steps back. That is still one step forward, Right? We loaded the trailer with yarn.

When the Quarterback and I arrived at the new location, we piled EVERYTHING in the center of the building. He stood on top of the trailer handing me stuff to haul inside. He couldn’t be stopped.

I returned to the trailer to grab more stuff. The quarterback was no longer on the trailer. He was standing in the parking lot covered with blood. (Not making this up, folks.) He told me, “I was lifting this display, it was too heavy and I lost my balance. I flipped right out of the trailer.” He went back to unloading. (The Quarterback might be the toughest man I have ever met. Have you ever seen Marlboro Man? That is the Quarterback, without the horse, and the coat. But he has the cigarette.)

We unloaded the trailer and he announced he was going home. I think he might have needed a Band-Aid. As he was leaving Mr. Kindergarten called, ”Hey, what time should I be there tomorrow?” I had to tell him, “Hey man, we just finished.” Mr. Kindergarten started using construction language, really bad construction language.

The Quarterback said, “Oh well. with his hips, what was Mr. Kindergarten going to do?’ The Quarterback went home.

The ladies put the stuff on the displays. It took two days, but the store looks great. Come see it! Thanks to the ladies, You know who you are. We couldn’t have done it without you. I would have had to rounded up a whole bunch of German-Russians and they would be busy mowing there own lawns.

PS I thought the story titled RUMOR CONTROL was finished. However, Ivy wants me to tell one more story about the old store.

Occasionally we used the store parking lot for our personal use. I was known to leave a truck or our livestock trailer on the parking lot for days.

Last winter, I left my truck and the trailer on the parking lot for about a month. One day I noticed the door on the livestock trailer was open. Checking I found it had clothing inside that did not belong to me.

Keep in mind I am a hillbilly from northern Colorado. I have been known to keep my keys in my vehicle. I decided to look in my truck. I found a sleeping bag on the seat. The keys were in the ignition. Someone was sleeping in my truck using the trailer for a closet. Most likely they were running the truck for warmth. (Not making this up, either.) Your Daily Fiber needed a new home.

Our crazy lives!

Monner