Asthma, No Shoes and Something Big

Last weekend’s art fair/trade show was a success, well, for everyone but me. Elaine sold a record number of pieces. Ivy and the store did well, but not records. The twins enjoyed their sleepovers. Me? I fed the dogs, killed flies, watched baseball and breathed smoky air.

Honestly, the air is what turned out to be the biggest problem.

Saturday morning, I woke up with a horrible sore throat. I could have written about my sore throat last week, I did not want anyone to think I was complaining like a millennial. Hey, it might be the norm in 2018, but I was born quite a few years ago, to a world long gone.

Sorry, anyway, the deeper I got into the weekend the worse my throat got. The skies and air were full of smoke. I was sure the smoke was the reason I felt so bad.

Elaine and Ivy arrived home around noon, on Monday. After exchanging hellos, I said, “I need to go to the doctor.” I think they might have noticed that from the sound of my voice. Since the changes in health care of ten years ago, we go to a doctor’s office that has about 650 doctors and the one you want to see is booked, playing golf, or just took the day off. I chose Urgent Care.

At Urgent Care, I was immediately directed to an examination room. The nurse did the height, weight, blood pressure, and temperature thing. The nurse asked me if I knew I had a fever. I told her, I was not aware, however, I mentioned I was cold. She told me my fever was quite high (102.9). She suggested I take three red pills and a glass of water. The nurse said, “Make yourself comfortable, the doctor will be in shortly.” She opened the door and left. When she closed the door, I jumped up and started going through the drawers looking for stuff to play with. I love the tongue sticks!

After a few minutes, the doctor walked in.

Doctor: Hi, I’m Dr. Lisa. It’s nice to meet you……Jim. Me: It is nice to meet you, but I’m not Jim. Doctor: Oh, maybe Jim is in the next room.

Soon another Doctor arrived.

Doctor: Hi, I’m Doctor Sally, what’s going on today? Me: Woke up with a sore throat, I live near forest fires, Blah, blah…..Blah, blah Doctor: Asthma! Me: Well, I haven’t had a problem with asthma in forty years, but………. Doctor: I’ll prescribe steroids.

Talk about excited, I imagined my 5K times improving.

Me: What about my fever? Doctor: What fever? You don’t have a fever. Me: I just took three red pills for a fever. Doctor: I’ll be right back.

Doctor: You need a chest x-ray. Me: Oh, OK Doctor: I’m going to prescribe antibiotics and steroids.

I ran to the pharmacy, thinking I would feel better and run faster!

Somewhere out there is the world’s best doctor, which means somewhere out there is the world’s worst doctor. With that in mind somewhere out there is the world’s best softball coach, which means there is also the world’s worst softball coach.

Girl twin has the latter. Maybe not the world’s, but definitely top ten.

This softball coach scolded Girl Twin until she cried. The coach told Girl Twin, “I don’t know if you are confused, not paying attention, or just don’t care!” Girl Twin had not run when one coach told her to run and one coach told her to stay put. The coach then removed girl Twin from the game because she was crying.

One player “forgot” her gear on a recent road trip. Actually, this player, Chandelier (Not her real name), assigned some other teammate to bring Chandelier’s gear on the bus. Poor Little Chandelier had no gear to play the game.

The coach’s solution. “Someone give Chandelier their SHOES so Chandelier can play.” The team swapped shoes throughout the game so Little Chandelier could play. Can you say enabler? I don’t remember getting to play when I forgot my stuff. However, I’m not a millennial. I was held responsible and didn’t play.

Foot Fungus, Athlete’s Foot, warts! I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been to one…………….recently. I do have some experience with warts. My older brother brought them home from the school shower and shared them with me. Ol’ Doc Hilliard had to freeze them off the bottom of my feet. Hey, did I ever tell you Doc Hilliard made house calls. Yep, just like the guy on Gunsmoke, he came to the house. (Sorry, that was unnecessary.)

In almost forty years of coaching youth sports, I can’t remember berating a kid until they cried. I remember consoling kids that were crying. I can’t say I was the world’s best coach, but definitely in the top ten.

Girl Twin made Elaine and I promise not to intervene until the season is over. We agreed.

Some people look forward to the change in seasons, I look forward to the writing of emails.

Coach/School; Monner’s email is coming! Maybe, Elaine should do this one! (Girl Twin does not want to play next year and I’m holding that coach responsible.)

OK, if you follow the store on that social media crap, you might have noticed something big is coming, in November. Well, November is our anniversary month. It is our ninth anniversary month. I didn’t want to wait until the tenth anniversary. We have too many thing to celebrate. Ivy has PUBLISHED two designs. She has won a worldwide design contest. Elaine is selling garments at a record pace. Elaine and Ivy have websites. The store is selling. I make salsa. It’s gonna be big!

Our crazy lives!

Monner

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