BBV, DBV, and ABV

As I write today, let it be known that it is impossible to catch beervirus from reading these stories. I have taken every precaution to keep you the reader, safe.

I am wearing my N95 mask and one pair of the 4000 pairs of latex gloves we purchased BBV (Before BeerVirus). Please back away if you have a confirmed or implied latex allergy. You must protect yourselves.

Elaine is across the table from me. Our table is not the mandatory six foot social distancing requirement. I asked Elaine to move back at least six inches from the table. She laughed at me. I said, “Hey, these aren’t my rules, these are mandated by the governor.”

That conversation might have backfired on me. Now Elaine has taped a six foot border around her new loom and told me not to cross the tape.

Your Daily Fiber remains closed to the public. We offer curbside sales, delivery and shipping. We appreciate those of you who have made it a point to keep knitting, weaving and crocheting DBV (During BeerVirus).

As many of you know, BBV, I have been deemed an essential worker by the governor. I have been going to work DBV each day, to supply the world with tacos ABV (After BeerVirus).

I keep myself safe by adhering to governor mandated social distancing requirements. Almost every construction worker carries a measuring device of some kind, making it easy it to know when social distancing requirements are being violated. Should someone get too close, you simply say, “Dude, back the (construction language) up!” Usually that’s all that needs to be said, but sometimes building taco restaurants require workers to invade the space of fellow workers.

In these DBV times, most workers have agreed not to breathe while standing too close to other workers. Hey, some of those guys can hold their breath for a long time. Unless they’re talking. Holding your breath and talking is really hard. Almost no one is good at that.

One good thing, I’ve noticed is some of the workers wear masks. I would guess at least one in fifty workers wears a mask. That one guy is usually a painter or someone that would be wearing a mask BBV.

A twenty-seven year old electrician (without a mask) said to me, “Casper, (the boss) gave me three masks. I won’t use them. Do you want one?”

Luckily, for the construction of taco restaurants, the governor has allowed The Orange Depot (with limitations) to remain open. Every day, I find myself needing pieces and parts to keep the restaurant on schedule. The Orange Depot is always there for me. In fairness, The Blue Store is open also. It is just farther away

The Orange Depot has changed operating procedures. I’m guessing at least 30% of the Orange Depot employees are wearing masks. A lower number are wearing gloves. Social distancing is maintained by lines and “X’s” drawn on the floor showing customers where to stand and walk. The Orange Depot employees count and limit the number of customers in the store at any one time. I’m guessing most of the customers are non-essential employees of companies that are quarantining themselves at home and The Orange Depot. Just sayin’.

I was in The Orange Depot when an un-masked employee asked the guy walking in front of me, “Did you find everything you need?” The customer nodded in the affirmative and kept walking. It was my turn.

Employee: Did you find everything you need?

Me: I did, thanks.

Employee: Hey, do you have time for a joke?

Me (slowly turning toward him): I…..I…..I guess.

The un-masked employee moved closer to me. I backed up down the aisle. He moved closer. I backed up. He had me pinned against the shelves. I stuck my hand out.

Employee: A male senior citizen fell in love with a twenty year old girl.

Me: Did you pick me because I’m old.

Employee: We’re both old, buddy. Now, an old guy fall in love with a very young girl…….

It was a very good joke. Even Elaine thought so, but she won’t let me tell it here. If you want the punch line, call the store. Ivy can tell you the joke. She might make you buy something to hear it.

Stay healthy, stay safe. Hope to see you ABV.

Our crazy lives!

Monner

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