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Not Going to Vroom

My children (Girl Twin) gifted me a T-shirt for Father’s Day. I use the term “gifted” loosely, because at the time she had no source of her own money. Thinking about that, I guess that’s not a true statement. Girl Twin was in possession of a Grandma issued debit card, so actually she had a pretty good source of money.

Back in the ‘70’s, I was building houses with a guy who liked to say. “I don’t need no job, I just need money!” My kids mastered that philosophy. (I know the grammar is poor. Carl didn’t care and neither do I.) PS He also liked to say, “I don’t have a drug problem, I have a police problem”, but that’s a story for another day.

Back to the T-shirt. The writing on the T-shirt said, “This shirt belongs to Grumpa, like a regular Grandpa but Grumpier”. That would be funny, if it weren’t true. I didn’t want to turn into Walter Mathau, but I did.

Three months ago I received a phone call from my doctor’s office alerting me it was time for a blood pressure check. Twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with hypertension. I have been taking medication since my diagnosis. The doctors insist I have it checked yearly.

In the heart of the beervirus, the doctor’s office suggested I make an appointment to come in and do the cuff thing. The receptionist on the phone started laying out the rules. I was to wear a mask, I would have a pressure check, I would then do something called Zoom and talk to the Doctor on my computer or phone.

Me: Nope, We’re not going to do that. Woman: Do what? Me: Not going to talk to the doctor on the computer or phone. Woman: You don’t want us to monitor your blood pressure then? Me: I can guarantee you just drove it up. If the doctor is not there, Monner is not there. Who would pay for that anyway? Woman: Your insurance will pay, just like if the doctor were there. Me: Nope, if it is safe enough for me to come in, it is safe enough for the doctor to be there.

That conversation made me grumpy. BTW, I had an in person check last week and I was high (not the Colorado high), I sat for a while and I was normal. Doctors make me grumpy. No change in meds.

Last week the beervirus made me grumpy again.

This past summer I have been working in the next county. After enjoying my drive every morning, I have needed to arrange my departure from home to miss the school buses now on the road. None of that raises my blood pressure. What does raise my blood pressure is if you live on one side of County Road 13, you go to school. The other side of County Road 13 you “Vroom” your school day on your computer at your home. (Or someone else's home)

Our family (the now in their senior year twins) lives in the “Vroom” school area.

As I have mentioned several times in these stories, internet data is rationed in the country. (I really don’t know what I just said.) I do know that Spacebook slows down to a frustrating speed at the end of the month. Elaine sucks up MY data at an alarming rate with her stay –at-home engineering job. (While I am in the next county, and I'm not bitter.)

The twins’ school “helped” the country students by purchasing a mobile “hot spot” to give each student “some” data of their own to use. Unfortunately, the cellular carrier providing the “hot spots” does not have coverage anywhere near our home.

The twins are living with friends again, attending “Vroom” school. Elaine spent a couple days trying to get the school administrators to understand, while the “hot spots” were a good idea, they don’t work.

There are elementary schools in our area that suffer the same lack of cellular coverage. Elaine’s research found that those students have the correct “hot spots” Grumpa called the school principal. The twins will get the correct “hot spots” this week.

Elaine received a call from the school that Girl Twin missed a class.

Elaine: You have already ditched a class? Girl Twin: What are you talking about? Elaine: The school called, you are missing ________. Girl Twin: Then how would I know the teacher is doing his “vrooming” from the golf course?

Our crazy lives!

Monner (Grumpa)

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