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Back on the Horse

It was two years ago this month, one of Elaine’s rules for me changed my life forever. We will get to that in a minute. First, I need to tell a quick backstory.

Recently, I was chatting with the developer/owner of a strip center that I was involved with the construction. This conversation had nothing to do with construction. This guy and I were about the same age, and as it turns out, I graduated (I know, that surprises you, doesn’t it) from high school with his current wife.

Yes, I said current wife. I’m not sure how many wives preceded her. From here on, I will call this guy, Donald. When I think about him, he reminds me of another Donald. Our conversation went on for at least an hour. We talked about wives, dating, whiskey, vodka, cars, watches and shoes. Donald was an expert or had experience in a whole bunch of things.

I noticed Donald was wearing new shoes. I found this interesting because he was wearing a different pair of new shoes the day before. I mentioned his shoes. He said, “Monner, you can tell how successful a man is by his watch and his shoes.” I looked down at my dusty, year or two old, hiking boots and thought to myself, “Maybe that’s where I went wrong.”

Donald: I have about a dozen watches and about sixty pairs of shoes. Me: I have a watch that counts my steps and how long I have slept, cost about $150. Donald: Oh, that’s nice.

I made myself feel better remembering I once bought a pair of burgundy alligator cowboy boots in Cozumel. (PS I also have a pair of Michael Jordan’s 1st year shoes. I never worn them. I don’t know why never worn, just never worn. Ebay says their worth more than the alligator boots.)

Does anyone remember what I was going to write about? Oh yeah, Elaine’s new rule and shoes.

Two years ago this month, while riding my bicycle to the neighbor’s house I had a little accident. OK, it turn out to be a big deal.

Leaving my driveway our road become steep, very steep. I was carrying a water bottle and it became lodged between my brake handle and handlebars. I went down. Here comes the shoe part.

I was wearing Wally World frocs. A chunk of wood went through my froc into my foot that I was not removed. It took a couple days, but my foot became infected. Well, slightly more than infected. Infected to the point that I spent four days in the hospital, and thirty more days returning to the hospital for intravenous antibiotics


After my return from the hospital, Elaine forbade me from wearing frocs while riding my bicycle. She didn’t say anything about carrying water bottles. Nothing about riding to the neighbors, just no frocs. She fixated on the shoes.

This past week, Ivy asked if I wanted to go for a bike ride. It sounded fun. Before I could get outside Elaine asked if I had on appropriate shoes. I said yes and walked out the door. Once outside, Ivy said,

Ivy: Do you think it’s a good idea to wear frocs? Me: I’ve done it before. Ivy: Did Mom ask if you had on frocs? Me: She asked if I had appropriate shoes, she didn’t say anything about frocs. Let’s go, it’s getting dark.

Ivy and I had a great time. My legs were really burning from all the hills. When the ride was over, Elaine noticed my shoes. Did you know Elaine speaks two languages, English and (construction language). She didn't choose English.

Hey, when you fall off a horse, you need to get back on. Right?

Thanks for the support we are getting for our proposed changes to the store. Heck, I might even keep telling stories. I have more.

Our crazy lives!


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