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A Christmas Story

It matters not that this Sunday falls on Christmas Eve, I have stories to write. I do however like to keep the stories related to Christmas and I will today.

My story begins on the morning of December 23rd, 2023. Yesterday. The morning started just plain weird with Elaine suggesting we go out for breakfast. If you know anything about my wife you should know that she doesn't go out for breakfast. Oh, she eats breakfast, but not a conventional breakfast with eggs, bacon, and toast. She is more likely to have an apple and cheddar cheese slices at home. I know, it makes me nauseous also.

Anyway, we planned our morning and the rest of the day around going to town to finish grocery shopping for Christmas, taking our trash to town, (more in a minute), and going out for breakfast.

I'm going to take a minute to explain that "taking the trash to town thing". Living in the mountains we don't have a trash service that comes by once a week to pick up our trash. While I was working in the construction industry, I have always had access to those big construction dumpsters to throw my/our trash into. Well, I'm retired and I have lost my access to construction dumpsters. There is a guy with an old truck with plywood sides who comes by once a month to pick up trash and take it to the landfill. But, you store your trash until he gets there.

Elaine, being the resourceful girl (She is not offended by the word girl) that she is went to her employer and cut a deal to use the dumpster at her office. It has been working great. Most Saturdays we put the trash in the car and run the rest of our errands.

Back to the Christmasy part of this story. We enjoyed a great breakfast where Elaine ordered biscuits and gravy and actually ate it. No apples, no cheddar cheese. Just biscuits, just gravy. Sorry, I think I got off topic there.

We finished breakfast and drove to Elaine's office to drop off the trash. Elaine's employer had changed trash services and placed locks on the dumpsters. I recall that I might have used a few non-Christmasy (construction language) words upon noticing this, but I am sure Elaine's words weren't Christmasy at all.

Not only was a DEAL in place, but it would have been nice to know in advance the deal had changed. We now have two bags of trash in our car. I'm usually pretty quick on my feet. I told Elaine we would take the trash to the county landfill.

Have you been to the landfill? The county has nice buildings, scales to weigh the trash, and millions of dollars of heavy equipment to bury the trash. If you think I'm exaggerating about the millions of dollars, I'm not.

At the entry of the landfill, I stopped the car on a weight scale. I was met by an attendant.

Me: I have two bags of trash

Person: Do you have any of these? (Mattresses, washer/dryers, tires)

Me: None of those will fit in two bags of trash

Person: That will be fifteen dollars

Me: For two bags of trash?

Person: It is a flat fee

Me: I hate being ripped off by my own county

Person: Have a Merry Christmas, sir

I told you this was a Christmas story. I have one more Christmasy part to this story/day.

Our last stop of the day was at the grocery store. We usually shop at the last store, closest to home. The neighborhood is older, and slowly being renovated, but the store is nice, However, the store is surrounded by street people who sometimes frequent the store. With that in mind, I try to stay out of the store's restrooms. TMI?

A couple of iced teas and knowing I had an hour's drive home, I knew I was going to need to use the restroom. Again, TMI?

I don't know why it happens but things happen to me. Elaine says I have kind eyes, but I'm sure my eyes didn't help me in the restroom.

The restroom was empty when I went in. I was alone. In a matter of seconds, I heard a voice in the restroom. I was no longer alone. Turning around I was face-to-face with a guy removing his clothes. He was going to bathe in the handsink. I did everything I could to avoid eye contact, except avoid eye contact. I am looking into the eyes of a guy removing his clothes.

I gave him plenty of room and headed for the door. I got past him while he was busy. He wished me a Merry Christmas. Well, that wasn't exactly what he said

Guy: I'm not afraid of you.

Me: Good to know.

Everyone should spend Christmas clean, don't you think? I hope he has a Merry Christmas.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas. You guys know what Christmas is about. Don't forget, it's not about the gifts, Make Christmas special. God Bless, you. Share some love

Our crazy lives!



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