Birthdays and Tusk

I've got a lot to do today. Hopefully, I can write this real quick and get outside. I'm hopeful the twins will be here this afternoon to give me a hand with an outdoor project before the snow flies.

Speaking of the twins, they "celebrated" their twentieth birthday this past week. Early in the week, I asked them what they expected for their birthday.

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday? Girl Twin: Nothing, my birthday is on Wednesday. How do you celebrate on Wednesday?

Me: Welcome to adulthood. It looks like you realize that not all birthdays are on weekends. Girl Twin: Maybe we could go out to dinner.

Me: Get with your brother and pick a spot.

After some involved conversations, a restaurant was picked. After perusing the menu for a few seconds, Boy Twin settled on a thirty-dollar steak. Girl Twin's significant other asked Boy Twin what he was having.

Me: Wait a minute! Truth is I haven't worked in a year. I don't like either of you enough to buy you a thirty-dollar steak tonight. Choose something else.

Boy Twin: I"ll get the mac and cheese and add steak.

Significant: I'll do the same.

Me: Are you guys the twins? (They hang out and lift weights together)

I have written several stories about smartphones. Here's another.

Our phone service has gotten progressively worse over the last year. I thought the problem was when Elaine suggested I get a fruit phone after I have used a regular phone since the beginning of time. Turns out, it was not Elaine's fault after all. According to Horizon, we have purchased 5G phones and the area in which we live has 3G and 4G cell towers. We can expect poor service until all old towers are upgraded to 5G towers.

I was having a conversation with the guy across the road.

Me: how's your phone service? Neighbor: It was really bad until that electric car guy fixed it.

Me: Huh? What?

Neighbor: Elan Tusk! He fixed our phone.

Me: You buy an electric car and your phone works?

Neighbor: No, it is more simple than that. Tusk has satellites in space. You buy a satellite dish that talks to his space satellites, and Wa-La, your phone works.

This neighbor has a lot of knowledge, not like a know-it-all, but like a know-it-all. Turns out he's right. You send Mr. Tusk $500(+) and get on a list. Eventually, he sends you a small satellite dish. But you need to set it up.

That's what I'm doing today, setting up a Tusk satellite dish. Yesterday, Ivy and I drilled a hole in our house and successfully ran a satellite wire from outside into the house. It was a job for construction geniuses, a plumber's drain rooter, a drill, and broom handles taped to broom handles, a homemade wire hook taped to a broom handle, and a bunch of redneck engineering. Don't forget the construction genius part.

Today I will be building a stand for the satellite dish, hopefully with the help of at least one twin. I can't expect help from Ivy

today. She is preparing to leave for Iceland tomorrow (Monday) morning. Yes, I said Iceland.

A couple of years ago, she became interested in an Icelandic tour of riding horses and knitting, and glacier hiking. She's going, tomorrow. Ivy asked Elaine to go. Elaine is not fond of horses and declined. Ivy asked me to go. I'm not fond of knitting. Neither one of us is fond of falling down glaciers. Nope, no time to help with the satellite dish, even though it means better reception of Natflax and Hula-hoop. Counting on a twin or two.

We received a new shipment of Your Daily Fiber coffee mugs, just in time for Christmas. (already sold three, and we haven't advertised them. I guess I'm advertising the now.)