Resist

Elaine suggested recently, that it might be time to write a story about the world of fiber. Not edible fiber, wearable fiber. No recipes here, I promised myself years ago not to share recipes in these stories, but if I did, wow, do I have some good ones.

I promised Elaine I would never bring politics into these stories and for the most part, I've done a good job. I guess people reading these stories want my knitting advice and don't want to know my political opinions. So with that, I mind I will write a story about one particular presidential slogan. The slogan was very popular just a couple of election cycles ago. A very simple slogan, very effective. I loved it. RESIST!

As a matter of fact, today, I will resist writing about knitting.

I have successfully resisted for my entire life. As a child, I resisted the urge to watch Star Trek. Haven't seen a single episode. Battlestar Galactica? I've resisted that too. When that Lorne Greene guy left Bonanza for Battlestar Galactica, well let's just say I've resisted watching that traitor.

I did watch Neil Armstrong and the others walk on the moon. I've resisted the urge to walk on the moon myself, but I wouldn't stop one of my brothers from spending a couple of decades up there.

I've resisted changes in technology. When personal computers became popular, I resisted how to use them. Come on, someone tell me what the (construction language) a bit and a byte is and then tell me the difference between them. Now we have gigabytes. I will never figure that out, but I will always know how many bullets Little Joe has in his gun. Resist, Monner, resist.

Well, I'm sorry to say my resisting might have bit me in the (construction language) a while ago. Today, we are going clear up my resistance to using usernames and passwords, starting with phones and then social media.

I do not use my phone for paying bills. I don't know my routing number and neither does my phone. I can't rub my phone on a gas pump and the pump will fill my car, I can't pay the bill at a restaurant. Do you know why? I resist. Recently, one of the twins wanted to clear up a debt to me. They wanted to send money to my phone on something called Whenmo. What the (construction language) is that? Monner's phone doesn't do that. It calls people and we talk. That's what my phone does. No username, no password.

I have written a little tidbit about my troubles with social media. Here's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, at least my version of it.

Many moons ago, I set up my social media account to mostly promote these highly entertaining stories. Some of this you know. At the time, I thought some of the "profile" questions I thought were a little invasive. I didn't think my birthdate, birthplace, hobbies, occupation was anyone's (construction language) business. I might not have been totally honest in filling them out. Pay attention now.

Social media asked for (the neighbor is shooting) an email address which I gladly gave them, The email address was provided to me by our satellite television provider. Social media asked my to provide a username and password to start my account. I made up something for a password. Keyword, something!

Time goes on. Elaine and I changed satellite television providers. I think the old provider had too many Star Trek reruns. Resist. My email with the first television provider was cancelled. Big deal, I got a new email address with another company. Life was grand, I had a few friends on social media, most of them I think actually like me. (Oh, sorry.)

Life was pretty good until one day my account is locked up and it asked me to change my password. It should have been that easy. But it wasn't. To change a password you need to know your password. I knew it was something, I just didn't know what something was. I didn't panic. At the bottom of the screen, in blue, was a note, "Forgot password? Click here!" I clicked. It sent some kind of code to my email. The same email that was closed by the satellite television provider, which I have no access to.

Social media to the rescue. They can access your account and all you need to do is upload/download (WTF) a photo of your passport, driver's license, or national ID card. Did you know your laptop has a camera? Resist! For six days Elaine and I tried to upload/download (WTF) my passport and driver's license photos to social media. That little arrow thing just spun and spun.

I came up with a brilliant idea, I'm like that. Talk to a human. HA HA! I had to Boogle for instructions to find a human. I found some chat thing that wanted to help. I was confused because we didn't actually chat, we typed. I found a typing thing.

The chatter/typer informed me as soon as I sent him $55.00 via paypal he would handle my situation. He didn't use Whenmo, but neither did I. After a whole bunch of chatty typing, he tells me to contact the original satellite television company. He sent the $55.00 back to Paypal

I opened a new social media account. I guess I need to find friends again. I need to send these stories to Elaine's social media account to publish them. I will resist watching Star Trek, but I might try to remember a password. If you want to send a friend request, I will accept it.

Our crazy lives!

Monner