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Summer’s end

Summer is nearly over and this summer has been really challenging. Wildfires, rattlesnakes and houseflies. With four dogs and five humans our doors to the outside are open a lot.

I would guess that at least five houseflies enter the house each time we open the door. I can’t speak for everyone, but I am not fond of needing to brush a fly off my nose while I’m trying to sleep. We could hang those fly strips around and try to trap them. However, those things are so unsightly and you can’t make them not be the focal point of the room. We choose to swat them. If we can find the flyswatter. To find the flyswatter, it is best to ask Boy Twin what he did with it. Boy Twin will help look for the flyswatter until something more interesting shows up. While looking he might need to pass the television, stop and take the time to see what Girl Twin is doing. Me: Hey Boy Twin, where is the flyswatter?Boy Twin: I don’t know.Me: Where did you leave it? Help me find it.Boy Twin: I left it on the desk.Me: It’s not on the desk.Boy Twin: Someone stole it!Me: You were the last person to have the flyswatter, help me find it.Boy Twin: Can I finish watching Sponge Bob first? Me: We need the flyswatter, you have seen Sponge Bob a hundred times before, pause it if you need to, but find the flyswatter. Can anything make your day better than arguing with a nine-year old about a flyswatter? Moving on. The very first day we lived at this house, 8-1/2 years ago, while Elaine spotted a mountain lion leaving our property and run across the road. As she tells the story, it seems she was waving at a UPS driver who was coming the opposite way down our road, when the mountain lion crossed in between the two vehicles. To a family planning on raising llamas and alpacas this was not a great turn of events. we have not seen a mountain lion near our property since, but we have had mountain lions in the neighborhood. A few years back, an older mountain lion helped herself to a couple of emus. You know, those weird looking birds that are relatives of ostriches. Yep, we have llamas and yaks, the neighbors have emus. Anyway, the neighbor called Division of Wildlife, and they asked the lion to leave. It didn’t exactly work like that, but this is the way I’m telling this story. Last Saturday night our family was returning home from a day in town. Down by the school bus stop/mailboxes, sitting in the middle of the road was a mother mountain lion. I know it was a mother because another fifty feet down the road were two near to adult mountain lion cubs. Mountain lions are similar to humans in the fact the children stay with the mother until almost grown. Unlike humans, a mountain lion NEVER invites the children back home. Should an unfortunate mountain lion return home because they received a fiber arts degree and can’t find a job, they are usually eaten by their parents. Hmmm? Did you see how I worked fiber into this story? Next week the twins and I will enter the fourth grade. The twins will actually go to class, I will just do homework. Elaine and Ivy will do homework also, but this story is not about them. I think we be working on fractions in math this year. I’m really looking forward to math this year. I was really good at it. Of course, everything I learned in fourth grade is obsolete and taught differently. The twins will look at me like, “how did this guy get a job?” Our Crazy Lives! Monner

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