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Yarn Drive and Dwight Yoakam

Another month has past and I have not been offered my old job at the yarn store. I’m beginning to think I am never going to get invited back.

Of course, when they need something Ivy, Elaine AND even the twins have no problem calling me and saying something like, “Hey Monner, can you run to the hardware store and pick up some light bulbs?” My personal favorite “favor” I was asked was, “Hey Monner, we sold a loom! Can you come by the store and help dismantle the loom and load it in the customers ‘ car?”

How do I show my yarn store managing skills loading looms in cars? I might as well get a job at The Orange Depot.

This month the store is involved in something called a yarn crawl. A yarn crawl is this thing where all (sometimes not all) the stores in an area encourage customers visit the all the stores. I don’t know why they call it a yarn crawl. Nobody crawls! The stores are too far apart. Everyone drives, we (they) should call it a yarn drive. This is just another example of the decisions I could help with if I had my old job back.

I’m not totally against calling it a yarn “crawl”. I think if we could get one customer to actually crawl we could get on the national news. Think of the exposure that would create for the stores.

But since one has crawled in the six years since this thing has been going on, I think they should call it the Hot August Knits Yarn Drive.

You should stop by the store(s) and see what it is all about.

In fairness, I need to admit something. I have been dyeing yarn for the yarn “drive”. Ivy stuck me in the mop closet in the store and told me to start dyeing yarn. The store has some neat stuff. Check out the “twins”, not Boy and Girl Twin. Boy and Girl Twin are upstairs sleeping; let’s not wake them up.

The twins you would want to check out are Ivy’s idea for new yarns. Nope, you have to ask her.

I need to bring a previous story to a close. For “Monner’s Day”, Ivy bought me Dwight Yoakam concert tickets. The concert was Friday night.

I’m not a really concert guy. Strangely, I was looking forward to this concert. I have listened to Dwight for years. I really enjoy his music.

The concert was held in an outdoor amphitheater where everyone sits on the grassy hill. It sounded like fun. (I’ve been to the amphitheater twice before.)

It turns out that Dwight has quite a following in the area. It was announced that Dwight was only the second performer to sell out the amphitheater. I (and Elaine) were going to be a part of history. (We were there when Dwight sold out Th#@d*&rR%^d). 4500+ people were sitting on the hill, in the grass. All of them right next to me!

A nice young couple asked me if they could sitting next to me in this “open” space. I said, “of course”, and slid a little closer to Elaine. After a couple minutes, I noticed this nice lady was looking at me with a not to pleasant look. She finally said,

Lady: Do I stink or something? Me: What? Lady: You keep fidgeting, do I stink? Me: No, I’m 5# (construction language) years old, sitting on this hill. My hip hurts! Lady: Oh, I thought you didn’t want me next to you.

OK, actually I didn’t want her that close, but Dwight sold the (construction language) place out.

She turned out to be quite nice and sitting next to me was never a problem anyway. Someone in the front stood up so to see Dwight (and the band) and everyone had to stand. We watched the entire concert standing. Well, not the entire concert. We left during the encore. I had to beat 4500+ people to their cars. (I’ve never left a concert early before, must be my age, or hip.)

We had a great time. I asked Elaine to get ZZ Tops tickets at the same amphitheater in September. My hip should stop hurting by then.

Our crazy lives!


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