53 Years

Have you ever been doing something for, fifty-three years, only to find out you need to be retrained? Hang on, I'm about to share a story.

I have been driving for over five decades, legally and successfully according to the State of Colorado. Oh, there was that time the authorities asked me to stop driving for a ninety-day period when I was a teenager. Why would THEY sell a car to a teenager that exceeded the speed limit if they weren't going to let you do it? And another thing, I didn't cause the oil embargo of the 1970's and I never agreed that we could solve it by lowering the speed limit. Taking away my driving "privileges did nothing but force me to find another way to get to work.

When I say, I have driven successfully, I knock on wood, I very seldom had the opportunity to drive less that twenty-five miles daily to work. Most of my driving life I have driven at least sixty miles daily to work. Sixty times five decades, you do the math.

During a recent trip to do some business with our bank, it was pointed out to me that my driving "privilege" had expired on my birthday. Not on my most recent birthday, the one before that. Yep, Ol' Monner had been driving without a driver's license for more than a year. Thinking like I think, it was no big deal. I have had no interaction with the police, so I have not had to show my license to anyone.

With the insistence of my lovely wife also of almost five decades, I decided to renew my driver's license. Being a pillar of my community has always been important to me.

I made an appointment at the Dept. of Motor Vehicle (DMV) to renew my license.

Clerk: How can I help you?

Me: I would like to renew my license

Clerk: Do you have any identification?

Me: I have my old license Clerk: This license is expired

Me: I know, that's why I'm here

Clerk: You will need to be tested, that will be twenty dollars. Please use the computers to your right for testing.

Me: But I have been driving for over fifty years, it's obvious I can drive

Clerk: The laws have changed, twenty dollars please

I took the computer test and as instructed went back to chat with the clerk.

Clerk: Well, Mr. Monner, you have passed the computer portion of the test, now you must pass the driving test

Me: OK let's go do it.

Clerk: Silly boy (She didn't say that) we don't test here, you need to go to one of the accredited schools for testing

Me: But I can and have been driving

Clerk: Sorry, I will give you a paper authorizing you to drive until you can be tested.

Me: What?

I physically drove to an accredited school to schedule a driving test

Employee: We can schedule your test, today, we will need an eighty-dollar non- refundable test fee and schedule your test in the next three weeks. I assume you have temporary driving privileges. If you are paying with a credit card, we will add three percent to your fees.

Test day arrives, my tester introduces himself as a retired civil servant who likes driving and cars. We happened to go to the same high school, many years ago.

Tester: Put your seat belt on, adjust your mirrors and back up and exit the parking lot.

Me: Gotcha

Tester: Did you roller skate at Pappy's when you were young? Turn left

Me: I wasn't much of a skater

Tester: (Marking on his papers) My folks owned property by Pappy's. Turn right, stay in your lane (marking papers and eating crackers)

The test was over; I had twelve demerits (twenty are allowed). Evidently, I didn't allow myself enough time to turn left, although I did turn left. I earned my certificate and the right to send DMV another thirty-three dollars for the actual license allowing the privilege.

God Bless, Love ya, drive safe

Our crazy lives!

Monner