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Dillinger, a Creepy Guy and Bears

I have begun writing this story three times. I have been trying to write this since Sunday morning. I just can’t find the time to finish. I’ve even tried to write it after I get home from my construction world and before I go to bed. I just can’t bring myself to type when “Nude and Scared” is on television.

I like to finish my stories on Sunday morning. I actually started this one about 8:00 Sunday morning. I had to stop writing. Something is taking up my time. That something is the twins, oh yeah and Halloween

My Halloween started at 7:00 AM. Our store and the coffee shop a couple doors down decided to make Halloween a special day for both stores. Actually it was coffee shop owners and Ivy that made the decision. Ivy tells me I agreed to the plans. Sometimes when people are telling me about something that will involve extra work for me I glaze over and stop listening.

I don’t think “glazing over” this conversation was my best option in this case, I guess I agreed to bring a llama to town for a petting zoo. I don’t remember agreeing to anything like that, but I do remember hearing the words llama and coffee shop. I don’t remember me saying anything like NO!

Saturday morning I got out of bed and started loading a llama in the trailer. I know what you’re thinking. Big deal, you open the door of the trailer and the llama jumps in. Nope, you’re wrong. Not our llama.

First, we need to bring the llama (Dillinger) in from the pasture. He was perfectly happy out there. Then we get to halter Dillinger. He wasn’t in the mood. Now we can put him in the trailer. I didn’t mention before I could use the trailer I had to make a couple repairs to actually attach it to the truck.

We have temporary fence panels to build a corral at the store that needed to be loaded on to the truck. The panels are heavy and cumbersome. It takes two people to load them. When the panels were loaded on the truck Elaine said, “We should have loaded them in the trailer.” I didn’t use “construction language”, but I thinking construction words. My Fitbit step counter was showing 5000 steps and I haven’t left home. (In case you were wondering.)

At the store it was my job to unload the panels from the truck (which according to Elaine, should have been in the trailer) with Ivy helping me. Once the fence was built I went to The Orange Depot to purchase a tarp to cover the parking lot in the event of Dillinger relieving himself. Next, to the nearest feed store to purchase straw to cover the tarp.

Once Dillinger was safely in his temporary home, people started arriving. My job was to greet the public. I find it amazing how many men under 30 years old that have been spit on by a llama. It’s epidemic! Surely the government should be looking for a way to keep our young men safe from llama spit.

The petting zoo kept me entertained until late afternoon. Around 4:00 it was time for Dillinger to head home. I’m not really sure he wanted to go home. He seemed to enjoyed being hand-fed sweetened grain all day.

Actually, Dillinger was not the reason I needed to get home. The real reason was the twins. I needed to get Dillinger home and get back to town for the twins’ trick or treating. Yep, fifty miles home and fifty miles back to town for the opportunity to secure ”free” candy.

Of course “free” candy is not free. Boy Twin spent fifteen dollars for a costume he left at home. He had to borrow a costume from a friend for the night. Girl Twin spent an undetermined amount for her costume. (its best if I don’t know the total amount.) I do know Elaine, Ivy and Girl Twin spent quite a few nights sewing together the pieces that I cannot know how much they cost.

Halloween night ended at 11:30 when I made it back to the house for the final time. Boy Twin spent the night with a friend. I needed to pick him up Sunday. There! That is the reason I did not finish my story Sunday morning. Boy Twin’s needing a ride home kept me from finishing my story.

I did arrive home early afternoon with Boy Twin. I could have written something then, but Elaine had another idea. Elaine thought it would be a good idea to rework the layout of the corrals at the house to accommodate one of our injured alpacas.

When Elaine suggested her plan I forgot to use my “glazing over” trick. I couldn’t come up with a reason not to help her. They story wasn’t getting written until later, much later. I guess I could have written something Sunday evening and missed an episode of “Nude and Scared”. I chose not to write.

OK, I’m ready to tell a story.

Sometimes I forget how many changes have occurred in my life. I love to share my life with the kids. I think the twins have a hard time believing what middle school/junior high was like two short generations ago.

The first noticeable difference is junior high or middle school. We didn’t have middle school, we attended junior high. OK, I’ll get to the point.

Schools now have lockdowns. I attended school in the same school district as both batches of my kids. I attended the same high school as both of my kids from the first batch. Elaine attended the same middle school/junior high as the twins (second batch).In the very same school district that I share with the kids, I never experienced a school lockdown. The twins’ school has been lock downed twice this semester.

I need to remind myself that this district has grown over substantially over the years. I guess lockdowns are status quo now.

The first lockdown this year was caused by a creepy guy talking to a couple kids on the way to school. I think it is a good idea to lock the kids in the school when creepy guys are outside. I can’t tell you what I would do with the creepy guy because some of you will stop reading this crap.

So, lets talk about the second lockdown. It was not caused by a creepy guy. In my world the second lockdown was not caused by anything creepy at all. Unfortunately, somebody thought something was creepy and locked the school. I don’t think bears frolicking on the school football field are creepy. That’s right, bears!

I understand with bears outside the school it is a good idea to keep the kids inside. Keeping the kids confined to their seats and turning off the lights might be a little overkill. Let me enlighten you guys, turning off the lights cannot help. Bears are not afraid of the dark. Bears have those bear eyes that enable bears to spot kids’ lunch boxes in the darkest of caves and classrooms. However, some children are afraid of the dark. Can you see how this could have backfired?.

Maybe the school staff thought if the school was dark and quiet, the bears would think there was no food in the school and go home. It didn’t work, the bears stayed. Thankfully, Division of Wildlife was called to remove the bears With the bears gone, the lights were turned back on. Girl Twin (happily) informed me, not one brown bag lunch was eaten by the bears.

Our crazy lives


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