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Maggie, Atomic Clocks and New Orleans

It’s Sunday morning. The sun is up and so am I. My alarm clock woke me at sun up, just like it does every morning. My alarm clock is a Great Pyrenees dog named Maggie

When I agreed it might be a good idea to have a dog or two, I don’t think I had Maggie in mind. I thought we would get a dog that would help with the livestock, guard the house when we weren’t home and bark when someone or something was in the driveway. I didn’t think the dog was going to wake me up every (construction language) day.

I enjoy early morning and I really don’t need Maggie to help get me out of bed. Her technique for waking me is not the most friendly. Who wants to wake up to a large dog staring at you and breathing dog breath into your face? Don’t think I can just roll over. That makes Maggie more determined. That forces her to start “punching” the bed with her front feet. Its not bad if I’m laying towards the middle of the bed. It is a little painful if I’m lying near the edge of the bed. I should be no surprise that if you are being “punched” in the back by a one ninety pound dog with sharp toe nails you will get out of bed.

Sometimes I pretend I’m asleep until the bed “punching” wakes Elaine. If Elaine gets up Maggie usually will stop working on my side of the bed. (I hope Elaine doesn’t read this.)

Elaine uses a mechanical alarm clock. She doesn’t trust Maggie like I do. I don’t like to stay in bed if the sun is up.

We had a little situation caused by the time change from Daylight Savings Time. Elaine trusted her mechanical alarm clock. Monday, after the time change, Elaine’s obnoxious buzzing alarm clock went off. The room was dark and Maggie was no where in sight. Elaine jumped up and put on her bathrobe as she does every morning. I decided to stay in bed and wait for Maggie. Elaine turned on the lights and started her pre-work preparations. I opened one eye and noticed Elaine was in a really good mood. I opened my other eye and noticed the atomic clock hanging on our bedroom wall. You know the kind of clock that sets itself to official government time.

Me: What are you doing? Elaine: You need to get up. Can you make coffee? Me: Elaine it is 3:45 in the middle of the night. What are you doing?

Elaine looked at the atomic clock.

Elaine: How did you change that clock? Me: PLEASE, shut off the light and go to back to bed.

It was now 3:47 in the morning and Elaine decides to tell me she did not set her alarm incorrectly. It was a malfunction in her alarm. I covered my head with a blanket wondering why she was doing this to me.

Ivy is back from her vacation. Ivy attended a birthday party in New Orleans. I love when Ivy is on vacation. I get to run the store.

I worked in Louisiana back in the ’80′s. I built a fast-food restaurant where you get to wear crowns. I’m not sure why a guy from Northern Colorado would end up in Louisiana to build a fast-food restaurant, but it was something that happened to me. Working in Louisiana was some of the craziest best and craziest worst times of my life. (Jana, you fell into the crazy best category.)

While I was toiling in the store (OK, Elaine was actually running the store) Ivy was in New Orleans eating Cajun food and seeing the sights of New Orleans. I was at home dreaming of gumbo, hush puppies and po’ boy sandwiches.

Ivy texted home and said she was having fun. The trip didn’t go exactly as she planned. It rained a bunch and power was off for quite a while. She ate home baked pizza and had pizza delivered and sub sandwiches, that they sell in Colorado. (I know, what the heck was she thinking?) Oh well, she saw her friends. I guess she can go back again.

Well, I mentioned it’s Sunday morning. In two hours I need to head to town to pick up Girl Twin from a birthday sleepover. Is it wrong to wish your kids didn’t have so many friends?

Our crazy lives!


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