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Elaine’s Loom and the Case of the Missing Wallet

Elaine bought a new eight harness weaving loom last month to use at the house. I would mention the brand of loom, but these stories are not to promote loom companies. ALTHOUGH, if you want to know what kind of loom it is, you can inquire at YOUR DAILY FIBER. Ask for Elaine or Ivy. You could ask for Monner but Ivy will probably say, “Why would you need to talk to him? Do you need him to carry something to your car?”

Back to the loom. Elaine bought the loom and had it delivered to the store. Elaine tells me it was delivered to the store because the store receives free shipping. Did I mention, this is a BIG loom? In fact, too big! Before we could get the loom home we needed first to bring the loom we/she already has in our house to the store to be used for lessons.

It seems the more weaving lessons the store has, the bigger the looms gets in my house. I wouldn’t complain if we could get something like, oh, I don’t know, maybe a recliner. More lessons equal bigger recliner. No one, other than me sees the logic in that.

Anyway, last week I was told I had procrastinated enough that I had to bring the old loom to town and get the new loom home. The old loom folds up and can fit in Elaine’s SUV. That was no big deal.

The new loom, however, does not fold up. Being the construction worker that I am I measured the new loom before I loaded it on the truck. MY heart stopped for a second. I had a terrible feeling our house did not have a door big enough to get the loom in our house. I told you it is a BIG loom.

I asked Elaine if she considered the size of the loom when she ordered the loom? I might have used a little construction language, but none of that would be relevant to the story.

All of this happened on a night when Elaine and Ivy stay at the store late. I was going to need to get the loom home and take it apart by myself. With the help of some fast food ice cream, I was able to get Girl Twin to at least help me load the loom on the truck and unload it on our deck at home.

Girl Twin and I tied the loom to the truck, got some ice cream and headed for home. On the way home I noticed some of the parts of the loom were moving with every bump in the road. I pulled into the parking lot of convenience store to retie the loom. You might know the convenience store, the one with the liquor store next door.

I parked next to a car whose owners were next door at the liquor store. While Girl Twin and I were tying the loom down, I left both doors open on the driver’s side of our truck. The owner of the car next to me returned to his car from the liquor store. Girl Twin and I looked up and this man was standing between the open doors of my truck acting suspicious. He saw us looking at him, and by now his driver was there, they got in their car and drove away. Girl Twin and I finished our job and drove home.

Girl Twin and I unloaded the loom on the deck. It was time to try to get the loom through the door. We turned the loom one way. It was way too big. We turned it another way. It looked like it was going to make it. Nope. It was so close but that loom was not going in the house.

Now I’m sure this loom is not the first loom this manufacturer has sold. I’m sure this is not the first time a loom needed to be brought into a house. This loom could have been made 1/4″ smaller and it would have fit through the door. The designer of this loom is evil. OK, that may be a little strong, but I’m writing this story, and I’m sticking to it.

Girl Twin need to start homework. I needed help to dismantle the loom. With darkness falling and rain looming I needed to wait for Elaine and Ivy to get home to help get the loom in the house.

Elaine and I dismantled the loom. Ivy and I carried in the pieces. We all started some of the assembly. (at the time of this writing, the loom is not fully assembled.)

The next morning, while I was dressing for work, I noticed I could not find my wallet. I remembered using it to buy ice cream in the drive up lane. That was the last place I had my wallet. I checked my truck. No wallet!

I needed to get to work so I told myself I would tear the truck apart when I got to town. Driving to town my heart nearly stopped. I remembered leaving my truck doors open and the suspicious man looking into my truck. I called Elaine and asked her to cancel my credit cards, I called the police and asked for advice and file a report..

I carry a credit card issued by the construction company I work for. I drove to the office to get that card cancelled. While I was talking to the office manager, my helper walked in with my wallet.

Helper: It was at the bottom of your console. Me: I didn’t put it there. Helper: Yeah, I know. Me: I didn’t put it there. Helper: There is absolutely no way it was you, let’s not talk about it.

Later, much later, Girl Twin told me she put some “stuff” in the console while we were driving that night because she was looking for a highlighter. See folks, that big loom created this problem. For the next 7-10 days I am without a debit card and Elaine’s loom is the reason. I told you that guy is evil.

Our crazy lives!


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