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Shopping Day and Detention

Imagine my surprise when Ivy and Elaine asked me to work in the store last week. Together they walked right up to me and said. “We’re going to need you to work in the store Friday.” My mind was racing.

Something big had to be happening Friday, Ivy must have needed help with a knitting problem or something, It wasn’t long and I got hit with a heavy dose of reality. I remembered I don’t even knit. I asked what I would be doing.

Elaine: Ivy and I will be taking our annual Christmas shopping day. You will be in the store by yourself.

Me: That sound like fun, why can’t I go with you? Elaine: Well, first of all, you are not invited, and we didn’t look for anyone to work the store because we knew you could do it. Me: You’ve never trusted me before. Elaine: We don’t trust you now. Just help with checking out the customers. If people need REAL help, tell them to come back when Ivy or I are back in the store.

It was that conversation that caused me to realize I wasn’t really asked to work in the store. I guess it worked out. I talked to a few of our favorite customers, kept up with world happenings on the internet, talked to the landlord, and I didn’t make any mistakes giving change. I told a couple customers, “Nope, I can’t help with that. you are going to need to come back when Ivy is here.”

I met a nice young couple who came in the store looking for “local yarn”. I dazzled them with my ability to point to the “LOCAL YARN’ sign on the wall. We spent the next few minutes explaining how we obtain “local yarns” and how some of our yarns come from animals that Elaine and I own.

The young woman told me she had hoped to teach her toddler to knit and eventually teach herself to spin he own yarn. I showed her the photo on the wall of the Ivy, the twins and Elaine spinning at the Taos Wool Market. (Hey, I just realized I was left out of that one also. Hmmm.)

The young couple found me amazing. They didn’t actually say that or indicate in any way that they thought that, but hey, I’m writing this story. The young lady did say she would be back. Her husband rolled his eyes and nodded.

A guy from FredEx came into the store to make a delivery. He came into the store and looked around. He asked, “Is Ivy here?”

Me: Ivy is not here today. Fred: Well, can you sign for this?

Luckily. I was able to control my lightning speed lips. I didn’t say, “Well, I’m not sure, I haven’t written my name since yesterday.” I just signed his tablet thing. He just left, seemingly disappointed Ivy wasn’t here.


It takes a village to raise a child. If you are wondering where “Ol Monner is going with this one, hang on, I’ll get there.

I have sometimes wondered if it is fair to the twins that they have Elaine and I for parents. The parents of the twin’s friends and Elaine and I have not a lot in common. Elaine and I are on our second batch of kids, and I know where kids can go “south”. Elaine and I have seen quite a bit. Heck, I was pretty wild myself. Elaine, not so much. She was born perfect.

The twins tell me some of their friends “get” to F-bomb their parents. Sadly, for the twins, they will never “get” to F-bomb me (or Elaine)..

OK, let’s tell a story.

We had some nasty weather this week. We had 8″ of snow and I saw minus 21 degrees on me truck thermometer. With everything we need to do in the morning, when the weather turns bad, we are usually a few minutes late for school.

On this snowy, cold day Elaine woke and re-woke the twins, just like every other day. This day was different, Girl Twin didn’t get out of bed. With the morning chores, no one noticed, Girl twin did not get out of bed. She answered when Elaine yelled down the stairs.

When It was time to leave for school, Girl Twin was still in bed. OK, now tell me who hasn’t done something like this themselves.

But somehow Girl Twin was taking the situation different than I would have. Girl Twin (now awake) was walking around like she had all the time in the world. In my world, being late doesn’t work. Girl Twin was making not only herself (and Boy Twin) late, she was making me late.

Arriving at school, (45 minutes late) Girl Twin informed me I needed to go into the school and explain why we were late.

Girl Twin: You need to sign me/us in. Me: I don’t think you really want me to do that. Girl Twin: Just tell them the roads were bad. Me: I’m not going to do that.

Now in the school,

Attendance administrator: You’re late because the roads are bad. Me: No, we are late because Girl Twin did not get out of bed. I think she needs detention. Admin: You want her to have detention? Me: Yes.

The administrator contacted the school counselor.

Admin: Monner tells me Girl Twin is late because Girl Twin did not get out of bed. He thinks detention is appropriate. Counselor: (looking at me with a semi-angry look) You can’t be serious! Me: I’m serious as a heart attack.

Being late myself, I didn’t take the time to debate the counselor. This would have been a debate I would have enjoyed.

I found out later that Girl Twin received an unexcused tardy. Which means she get two more chances before she get detention.

When I see the counselor, I will have a discussion with her that as a child I laughed when I got three chances. My first batch of kids laughed at three chances. And my second batch of kids are laughing at three chances. I hope the counselor and I can live in the same village.

Wow, that was a long one.

Our crazy lives!


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