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Cops, Twins and the Dean

I remember my mother telling me once, "I hope your kids give you the same kind of trouble you gave me." OK, she said it more than once. As nearly perfect of a child as I was, I had to be disciplined a couple times. But this not a story about me. That is a story for another day.

I have been to the local high school twice, speaking to law enforcement and the dean, in the last seven days. Once for each twin.

"Mom, I'm sorry! Could you stop laughing? Maybe you could put in a good word to God for me? If not for me, at least for Elaine."

OK, let's start the story.

When your child telephones you and starts the phone call with, "I didn't do it, I'm not involved!" pay attention.

Me: OK, back up! What are you not involved in?

Twin: Some of the kids at school are swapping naughty pictures on their phones.

Me: How naughty?


Me: If you are not involved, why are you calling me?

Twin: Rumor, I am involved because of rumor. Please don't come to school, let me take care of this.

When your child asks you not to go to school, GO TO SCHOOL.

Later that afternoon, law enforcement called Elaine to ask Elaine to bring Twin's phone to school the next morning. Law enforcement asked Elaine not to alert Twin. The intent was to look at Twin's photo's before photos could be deleted.

I don't really like surprises. I wasn't going to school and be surprised by what I was going to see on that phone, I said, "Give me your (construction language) phone!"

I handed the phone to Ivy. After all, it was a "smart" phone. Remember, I am "smart" phone challenged. Guess what? No naughty pictures! Not in the Gallery, on Instastupid, or on Sappchat.


The next morning at school, in the law enforcement office, Elaine, Twin, and I met with a policeman. I'm not very good at letting others chair meetings that I don't want to attend in the first place. I can be a little aggressive. Elaine says it's ego. I think it's ego also, but I don't admit things like that. I don't like when Elaine is so right. Hmmm.

Me: What's going on?

Policeman: We need to look at Twin's phone to check for naughty pictures.

Me: Well, that's not going to happen here. We have checked the phone, there is nothing to see.

Policeman: I know all the secret places that kids hide pictures on their phones. Do you know where those apps are?

How did he know I didn't know about "secret" apps? Did Ivy call him?

Twin (and I) agreed to allow him to look at the phone for secret apps. The phone didn't have any secret apps. However, sadly, now Twin knows how to get them. Good job law enforcement!

Me: Have you seen naughty pictures of Twin on anyone's phone?

Policeman: No, I have not.

Me: Then why are we here?

Policeman: We are just trying to protect Twin and friends.

Me: Thanks for your work. We check both of our Twin's phones. (Ivy does, I'm challenged.) Anything inappropriate we deal with at home.

The meeting adjourned. I left wondering if "smart" phones have become the "nudie" magazines of 2017. Watch your kids, check their phones.

"Mom, I hope you're enjoying this." As if that wasn't enough, I (we) have another Twin.

This story also starts with a phone call. Twin asked. "Hey Monner, can I ride the bus home?" I replied, "That's not a good idea. There will be no one to meet you at the bus stop."

Our school bus stop is four and a half miles from our house.

"I'll be OK, I'll walk," said Twin. Reluctantly, I said, "OK." After a while my decision started to "eat" at me. The bus arrives at the bus stop after 4:00 PM. The sun sets at 4:45 PM. The temp was 35 and falling. I decided, you know what, this idea stinks. I headed for the bus stop.

Driving to the bus stop I received a call from the bus driver. The bus driver was calling from an area on the mountain where cell service is limited. I heard her say she was worried about Twin. Actually, what I heard was, "...worried...Twin...with two...walking. I replied, "(construction language) phone!" I don't know what the bus driver heard.

Twin made it all the way home before I got to the bus stop. At home I asked, "How did you get here so fast?" "We got a ride?" Bewildered I asked, "Did you say we?" Twin said, "Ah....yeah. I was with a couple of kids, they live around here." I telephoned the bus driver to inform her Twin made it home safely.

The very next morning, Elaine while working at home received a phone call from Twin's school. It seems two kids ran away from home and were last seen with Twin.

The weirdness of the previous evening started to make sense. Twin, wanting to walk home from the bus; Twin, with two new kids from the neighborhood.

The school was asking for permission to speak with Twin about the two kids whereabouts. I forgot to mention at last weeks conversation with the police and school I reminded the police and school about constitutional rights. I'm kinda like that. Don't talk to my kids without me.

Elaine gave permission to talk to Twin. Afterwards, Elaine called me informing me as to what was going on. Elaine decided to check the vacation homes in the area. (Elaine has always wanted to solve crimes.) Driving out our driveway she saw our camping trailer. Yep, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum were in our trailer.

Elaine (Now called Livermore Sherlock) "captured" the Tweedles and held them for law enforcement. While Elaine was playing detective, Twin was explaining the story to the police and school dean. I arrived at school to hear the story for myself.

The dean, policeman and I explained our disappointment to Twin. And then the dean said,

Dean: I guess we could give Twin in-school suspension, but it is so close to finals. That's seems so harsh. (He looked at me) Unless you can think of some consequence Twin could do at home.

Me: (Looking at Twin) Do you know those kids parents and brothers and sisters cried all night? You could have stopped that. (Looking at the Dean) This is uncharted waters for me, At the very least he should apologize to the families.

Dean: That's it, he will apologize!

Twin: Should I write a letter or go see them?

Dean: We can do it on the phone, I'll handle it.

"Mom, can we be even now?"

Ivy pointed out that I left out the gender of the Twins. Yes, I did! You get to guess which twin was Twin and which other twin was Twin.

The T-shirt at the top of the page that has nothing to do with this story. I put it there.

Our crazy lives!


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