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Staining, a Bully and a Munchkin

I'm sure if you read last week, you are wondering about Girl Twin’s eye. As you can probably imagine, it was horrible. She had to cancel a sleep over at a friend’s house. She did her best to convince Elaine and I that she “would be all right.” Elaine and I finally conceded that her friend could stay over at our house.

That would seem to be a simple concession, but NO! I’m sure cleaning a room with the discomfort of a recent eye surgery is/was not fun. Oh well, live and learn. Elaine and I had our reasons for keeping Girl Twin at home. Elaine had to put eye drops in Girl Twin’s eye at a specific time four times each day. (Here’s a little secret about me. I don’t do eye drops. Not to give or receive. I’m wimpy like that.) I guess someone besides Elaine could have done the eye drops, but we just weren’t comfortable that it would get done.

The room was cleaned, the sleep over was arranged, oh wait, I forgot to talk about who was attending the sleep over. Girl Twin’s friend asked Girl Twin’s boy interest for a ride to our house. What they didn’t tell even Girl Twin, they both packed a bag for the sleepover. Just writing about this, makes me slightly crazy. Luckily, the boy interest is afraid of me (and Elaine, but mostly me.)

I am involved in staining the neighbor’s log cabin. I talked the boy interest and Girl Twin’s other friend into waking up early and helping stain the log cabin. It’s amazing what the promise of a hundred bucks will do. Girl Twin’s friend was up at the crack of dawn. The boy interest, I had to yell a little bit. (This could be a character problem.) Giving the benefit of the doubt, he might have just been avoiding me in the basement.

Wow, does any of this have anything to do with Girl Twin’s eye?

The doctor’s instructions were no roughhousing, no texting, no reading, no driving, just watch television and come see me in a week. Girl Twin has a twin brother; telling them no roughhousing is like daring them to roughhouse. Telling Girl Twin, no texting is like sending her to the pen. No reading wouldn’t be a problem for things like books. No reading of texts, big problem. No driving, “Do you mean, I can’t go see my friends?” Big problem.

Some how we made it the week and we were ready for the doctor’s appointment. Elaine had deadlines at her engineering job and asked me if I could attend the doctor’s appointment. (Things happen for a reason. I’ll explain later.) I accompanied Girl Twin to her appointment.In the examination room, Girl Twin was checked out by the techs, PA’s and finally the doctor. They all used the special clear plastic rulers. I’m guessing they were checking eye movement. It was above me. They asked questions like, “Any pain, itching, bleeding?” Girl Twin said, “No.” I spoke up and said, “You might want to be honest.” Girl Twin responded, “OK, I itch.”

Doc: Did anyone at school admire your bright red eye?

Girl Twin: One girl bullied me.

The doc didn’t ask any more.

On Monday, I spoke with Girl Twin about her fire engine red colored eye.

Me: You know the kids are going to have things to say about your eye. Do you want to stay home for a couple more days?

Girl Twin: No, it doesn’t bother me what they say.

Me: You can stay home if you want.

Girl Twin: I’m going!

Monday night at home, after school.

Me: How did it go?

Girl Twin: No one said anything, except M_____ H_____. (It’s hard not to fill in the blank.)

Me: What did she say?

Girl Twin: She asked me not to look at her. She said I was gross.

Me: What did you say?

Girl Twin: Nothing, some girl I do not know asked M_____ H_____ if she ever had a red eye. Then she asked M_____ H_____, if she wanted poked in the eye.

Me: You OK?

Girl Twin: Yeah, it was kinda funny.

I’m proud of Girl Twin and her unknown friend. I think they might grow up to be Marines, or something.

There was a little incident in the doctor’s waiting room.

I need to provide a little back-story.

It may surprise some of you, but I can look a little rough. Let’s just say, Elaine wishes I liked combs and razors more than I do. I learned a trick while working in Arizona, and commuting weekly back to Colorado. I would get flights (thanks, Lisa and Lisa) on an airline that does not have reserved seating. If you look a little rough, people won’t sit next to you.

In the doctor’s waiting room, Girl Twin spread out on a couch so I could not sit next to her. (See, when you look a little rough even your kids won’t sit with you.) I wasn’t offended, I was going to get a cup of coffee and find another chair, anyway. The only other people in the waiting room was (I’m guessing) a grandmother, a mom and the cutest little munchkin with the brownest, almost black eyes I have ever seen. The munchkin (boy) was carrying a pair of sunglasses. Again, I’m guessing that this little guy had just started walking. (Really young.)

I knew why they were in the waiting room. This little guy’s left eye was severely crossed.

As I walked to the coffee machine the munchkin broke free from his mom and blocked my path to the coffee machine. He started rubbing my knee. I know what year it is. It’s 2019! I know what I can do and what I can’t. I did the unthinkable. I picked him up. I heard his mother inhale. Before she could speak the munchkin put his sunglasses on my head (or IN my eyes, more like.) The kid admired his work and Mom was speechless. I handed the baby back to the Mom. I told Mom, he was beautiful. That was one special cup of coffee.

Maybe someday, Girl Twin’s boy interest won’t be afraid of me. Thank you, Elaine. You could have taken that appointment.

Our crazy lives!


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