Random May Thoughts

I have so many reasons to dislike the month of May, and now this. I have been diagnosed with beerhayfever. I haven’t officially been diagnosed by anyone in the medical profession, but after six decades of enjoying this disease, I feel like I have at a minimum a PhD.

This year is different. This year, when I sneeze I cannot sneeze into my hand, elbow, the backseat, or out the window. This year, I am required to sneeze into a mask, neck gaiter, bandana or T-shirt.

My eyes itch terribly and are bright red in color. Because of the current health scare (Beervirus, which incidentally has symptoms similar to beerhayfever.) I have been told not to touch my face. Well, rules are made to be broken. Touching my face is unavoidable. My face is where my eyes are. I need to scratch my eyes. I have scratched my eyes right in front of my family and customers at the Orange Depot alike, without concern to anyone other than my selfish self.

At a recent virtual appointment with my physician, he/she suggested I use a recently sanitized pencil for scratching, eliminating the need to touch my face with my hands. OK, that was a lie. I didn't talk to a doctor.

What I have done, is purchase every kind of antihistamine (store brands are cheaper) that Wally World sells. I have read the instructions on each box and then added a little twist of my own. My PhD research and resulting papers allow me to experiment with non-prescription, non-drowsy drugs.

Many of you should be delighted that in spite of my personal health scare, I have been able to finish the taco restaurant. Well sort of, the Governor and local health department have held up the opening. Maybe we will get tacos next month.

Chapter 2