Couch Legs and the Wind

Is it me, or is 2021 starting off worse than 2020 ended? I’m a grumpy kind of guy anyway but this year is not helping.

As many of you know, Your Daily Fiber closed its brick and mortar store in the last quarter of 2020. The ramifications of that decision are extending into 2021.

Also, we moved our yarn and fiber equipment into a portable storage container on our ranch. That part of this story is working out quite well. Now let’s get to the part that makes me grumpy.

Some of you might have noticed, in the brick and mortar we had a mezzanine that we had closed off to the public. Some of you were curious enough to ask what exactly was up there. I’m ready to tell you. We used the mezzanine for storage, (personal and business) a desk with a computer, a bicycle, Christmas and Halloween decorations, a television, family treasures, and a couch for taking naps after a long exhausting day of moving things and carrying stuff for Elaine and Ivy. I should mention that the mezzanine looked as though it was organized by a hurricane. Stuff was everywhere.

Closing the brick and mortar meant we needed to find a place for all that stuff. Some were donated to thrift stores. Some were thrown away. Some needed to be brought to our home. Additional stuff from the sales floor also needed to be put “somewhere”.

Elaine and I bought another portable storage unit for the stuff we needed to bring home. I know, you’ve heard this story, but let me tell you the part you don’t know.

On the sales floor we had a couch and matching love seat for “husbands” to rest while their “Significant Other” shopped for “goodies”. If you are offended by my use of the word “husband”, I really don’t care. I should, and I’ve tried. But I just don’t.

I must admit the couch and love seat received way more discussion than they deserved.

Me: Have the cowboys (Girl Twin’s friends) take the couch and love seat to a thrift store. Kids: I want the couch for the television room. I want the love seat for my room. Me: You guys know I do not like moving furniture, especially downstairs. Kids: We will get the couch and love seat down the stairs Me: I will buy a new couch and love seat. The furniture store employees will put them where you want them. Kids: That’s stupid.

I got home one night (back in 2020) to find the store couch on the deck.

Kids: Will you help us get the couch downstairs?

Me: (CONSTRUCTION LANGUAGE), more (CONSTRUCTION LANGUAGE), and more (C0NSTRUCTION LANGUAGE)

We moved the couch into the house. Whoever designed this house, (the one Elaine just had to have) did not design it to get furniture into the basement.

Ivy, Girl Twin, and I tried to get the couch downstairs. (Where was Boy Twin? He was smart enough not to be home.) The couch would go down the stairs. We stood it up on its end. Still would go. “Let’s take the legs off.” The legs were part of the structure. “Let’s cut the legs off!” In our living room, I cut the legs off the couch. The couch finally made it to the basement.

“The couch is too low, we need legs”. Are you starting to see why I’m grumpy?

It is now 2021.

Ivy: Monner, I’ve ordered a commercial treadmill. We might need to get the couch out of the basement, so we have more room. We can take it to the landfill, no one will want it without legs. (snickering) Me: (Can’t be printed here)

Last week I arrived home to watch the delivery of the treadmill. It arrived in a box the size of a casket for an eight-hundred-pound man (or woman). (Save it, I don’t care.) Thank God, Boy Twin was home. Ivy, Boy Twin, and I uncrated the treadmill and got the heaviest part downstairs. Not before, Boy Twin tripped and slammed himself into the kitchen cabinets pinching his fingers. He didn’t cry. I did, but he didn’t.

Ivy and Boy Twin assembled the treadmill, working until about midnight. It fits in the room, even with the couch, sort of. Elaine and I are headed to the Orange Depot to buy couch legs. I’m going to need to get creative with that one. This couch wasn’t meant to have the legs cut off.

I should probably talk about the real reason for my lack of optimism for 2021. It’s the wind. It has been blowing since 2020. Did I say blowing? I meant BLOWING! Two nights this past week we have had gusts over eighty miles per hour.

If any of you downwind from us could please return the shingle of my shed roof. I paid for them and I would like them back. No questions asked.

Seriously, Elaine and I have been sleeping with a fan in our bedroom, headphones in our ears, and a pillow over my head to try and block out the wind noise. It doesn’t help that the house is shaking.

Yarn sales are good and growing. We thank you for that. Check the website.

Our crazy lives!

Monner